Mother defends hysterectomy for disabled daughter

[Squiglet]

See this is the information they need to portray...

Unfortunately I still feel that it is unfair... and this is coming from someone who has cleaned up her sister at that time of the month...it's not that bad...and you do it cos you love them and they are not just handicapped... they are people with feelings and thoughts and emotions, even if they can't verbalise them. What happens if the daughter doesn't want this?

 

[Becs]

I don't agree with it either and if this case goes through and is allowed to happen i am very concerned about the precedent it will set for millions of other cases.

 

[budge]

I don't agree with it either and if this case goes through and is allowed to happen i am very concerned about the precedent it will set for millions of other cases.

it won't set off a craze of it.
Its an individual case.
hysterectomys are not performed lightly.

 

[rach]

the mothers point was also that her daughter faces enough indignities with being doubly incontinent without the added one from menstruation
this is a very difficult one for me i can see both sides

 

[budge]

See this is the information they need to portray...

Unfortunately I still feel that it is unfair... and this is coming from someone who has cleaned up her sister at that time of the month...it's not that bad...and you do it cos you love them and they are not just handicapped... they are people with feelings and thoughts and emotions, even if they can't verbalise them. What happens if the daughter doesn't want this?

well the girl cannot vebalise whether she wants a hysterectomy or not or if she want to bleed and get cramps each month or not either.
this is why disabled people have to have some decisions made for them at certain times of their lives. Its a fact.

And so long as the decisions made for them are in their best interest at the time i do not have a problem.

 

[emma28]

I think thats its just unneccessary. Seem to me by reading the article that all they are bothered about is a monthly period and bigger boobs. Surely this is life, regardless of ability. If it were me I'd sooner take 2 paracetamol a month than all this hoo-ha!
Seems a bit strange as a parent to wanna go on Tv and shout about it, surely like a lot of things in life you'd think to yourself, it'd be nicer if it didn't happen, but thats it?
Also if someones doubly incontinent the pad needs changed anyway so who cares what's on it?? And the statement about preserving her youth?!? We'd all like to keep our kids young....but come on!!
I definatley think it's a lot of bother they've stirred up for not much reason.

 

[Squiglet]

Having periods isn't an indignity... Its natural and normal...

The precedent for this op was set in the US last year, and now it's made it across here... and I doubt it will be the last... unfortunately once this one has gone through the courts and won (because she will as an ordinary persons wishes and best interests are ALWAYS placed higher than those who are disabled and have no voice ) then no one will hear about the many other cases.

At the end of the day, this is dissolving the rights of disabled people who are unable to defend themselves nor make their wishes known... Working with disabled people is one thing, but living and growing up with them is another...I wouldn't take a decision that involves invasion of another persons body without their consent. It's not fair...

It maybe true that this childs life will be improved by the removal of her womb... but no one has a crystal ball.. what if it is not?

Once one of these laws has been passed it makes it very easy for others similar to be passed. Who knows where this may lead? It holds a lot of ethical questions such as whether we can choose to with hold medical care for handicapped people because they might be "uncomfortable" or that they might not understand, or it is an indignity to them. And they can't make that decision so we as "good" people make that decison for them.

As it is, handicapped people are already placed on the bottom of transplant lists just because they "might" not lead a quality of life equivalent to that of a "normal" person, yet that normal person might have just spent the past 25 years smoking 50 a day... does that seem fair?

For parents and relatives of handicapped people this strikes much deeper than just easiness of our lives. Its about reducing our kids, siblings, parents to nothing more than a piece of meat that by law we can't put out of their misery (yet although these cases are just the start of moving towards this), so we try and make it as easy as possible to care for them until they finally do die... and they really are worth so much more than that.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Why domt she put her on depo that stops periods and pregnancy.

 

[jenni32]

I saw the girl, Katie, and her Mum on GMTV. Obviously a very controversial issue buy I have to say the Mother came across as a very dedicated and loving lady who just wanted what she saw as the best for her daughter. We're all entitled to our opinions, but I certainly don't think anybody has the right to judge that Mum.

 

[x Naomi x]

Having a 25 year old sis with downs albeit fairly mild, i couldnt imagine putting her through an op for something that can be solved by other far less intrusive ways

Surely with her having a hysterectomy she will then go through an artificial menopause which can itself can have side effects?

I really think that the mother should try something else i am sure it will be just as effective and less risky for her daughter

 

[cloud9]

I think it is wrong...

A hystertomy is a major operation ..the assumption is that periods are bad..prior to D i took 2 paracetamool when i came on and the next day i was fine.

If you are changing a pad for one thing it doesn't matter if it is for blood and urine.

I worked with people with physical disabilitea and learning disabities..it made no difference to me what i cleaned up , they seemed unaffected by what was in there pads.

I personally am not having any more children but under no circumstances would i elect to have a hysterectomy just to stop my periods...I can only thing that people with meidcal conditions that affect there periods would do that

 

[budge]

Having periods isn't an indignity... Its natural and normal...

.

so is child birth but how many women have epidurals (there are risks in that) and how many elect c sections (a major op and in some case of child birth unnessesary)

this is a unique case. As is every case. and should be treated as such .

 

[Pregnopaws]

I dont have any experience with disabled children, therefore I dont think my opinions are as valid, nor am I fully sure either way whether its a better option or not for the girl!

Budge - I dont know much about C-sections, or even epidurals.. but why would a woman opt to have a C-section if they can give birth normally? I cant imagine anyone would, its surely far more painful and difficult to recover from?

 

[libs]

lots do though to avoid labour (too posh to push, scared of labour etc)or for convenience o know the date etc.

It's v common

 

[budge]

Budge - I dont know much about C-sections, or even epidurals.. but why would a woman opt to have a C-section if they can give birth normally? I cant imagine anyone would, its surely far more painful and difficult to recover from?

they do. like libs said. but thats another topic though i suppose

 

[Squiglet]

Having periods isn't an indignity... Its natural and normal...

.

so is child birth but how many women have epidurals (there are risks in that) and how many elect c sections (a major op and in some case of child birth unnessesary)

this is a unique case. As is every case. and should be treated as such .

Er... Having periods or child birth isn't an indignity, but what you are talking about budge ie c sections and epidurals doesn't relate to that comment. what you are talking about is not the indignity of periods and child birth, but ways of relieving pain from the child birth part.

As it stands...and I dare any woman on here who has experienced childbirth to disagree... but periods are NO WAY near as painful as popping a baby out. That's why women opt for these things and as it stands doesn't relate to the question at hand...

And I am also sorry...but having cerebal palsy does not mean that a person is mentally deficient... that's just such a prejudicial thing to say. So many people have that attitude towards handicapped people and it really gets to me. I have spent almost all my life with one or more handicapped people... and I can assure everyone, that they are really deep thinkers, and have much wisdom to impart... they just struggle with communications, so everyone says... Oh well they can't make decisions for themselves, we have to do it for them... and that's just rubbish!!!. If they can't verbalize what they want then don't do anything, if it ain't broke don't fix it... ! If their life is in danger,, then fine... you have to make a decision whether to save that life or let it lie... but this girl will not die if they leave her womb in place atm.

A handicapped person may not be able to communicate with the outside world like ordinary people, but they are still people with thoughts and feelings and emotions... and should be treated with respect... I wouldn't go up to anyone, ordinary or otherwise, and say...I'm just going to take part of your body away, because you don't need it or understand what to do with it... that's invasive.

No one here needs their appendix anymore, its from our cave dwelling days when we ate grass and roots... but how would you feel if I drugged you and took it out tomorrow just because I wanted to without you having any say in the matter... would you be happy with having a stomach op for that reason?.. or would you feel like your rights had been compromised?... You don't need it so why should it bother you!.

 

[budge]

i never said that a person with cerebral palsey is mentally deficient squig.

you seem really hett up over this topic.

 

[Jen79]

I was reading the paper yesterday and Vanessa Feltz (who I dont think that much of usually TBH) had written about this case. I have to say I agreed with what she wrote, it was something along the lines of saying that the mother only wanted what was best for her daughter and was of the opinion that she, and no one else, knewher daughter best and what was best for her. I dont think anyone could question that the mam has made the decision in what she sees to be her daughters best interests. To suggest that she is wanting it done for selfish reasons or whatever is pretty cruel. I know anything I ever do for my daughter (not always the right thing of course!) is done out of love for her and what I think is right. As Vanessa said, periods are not pleasant and are something we put up with because of the fact that they are the reason we can have our children. To never have children and endure years of periods is a pointless exercise. And they did look at different ways of stopping her periods but none were suitable due to her other health issues.

 

[Squiglet]

I never suggested you did budge ,

I just said that many people have that attitude and that it annoys me.

 

[budge]

yeah i can tell.

i really admire your passion about this topic.