Money :(

[EssJayPea]

Just been looking up what we'd be entitled to once I go back to work after maternity leave. Nada.


OH just earns above the new threshold but by no means does he support me, I pay my own way.


So, if I went back part time, as I'd intended to, I'll literally be making enough to pay towards the mortgage/bills etc but have no money left for petrol for the car/anything extra. So looks like I'll need to go back full time and LO will need to be watched by the grandparents.


I know this isn't the worst situation to be in, but I didn't start a family with this intention. I want to see my baby grow up and not be working a job I hate for 40 hours a week to come home stressed and missing out on big parts of her growing up.


OH is no help. He is very much 'money dictates what choices we have...blah blah...'


I'd be better off financially as a single mother (love OH dearly so not an option).


Anywho, just wanted to know if anyone else is in the situation and, if so, how hard was it to go back to work full time after LO was born? xxx

 

[MrsH_]

i am in the same situation as you when i work out how much i will earn if i return back to work 16 hours and add that to what my oh gets working full time even adding on working tax credits etc i am still losing out on so much money! and on top of that my boyfriend still expects me to pay the same towards the bills as i did before which will leave me with no money atall! tbh i have no idea how much i will definatley get or how to find it out,, i went online and did a calculator thing on directgov but still wasnt very clear
either way looks like no more holidays for a very long time

 

[FirstBabyEek]

We're in a similar situation, we're not entitled to anything either. So its going to be incredibly tight. It's only really feasble if I return to work 3.5 days a week, but I'm not happy to do that and miss out on parts of LO growing up.

I admire your resolve to pay your own way, but would your OH's money cover everything so you wouldnt have to, just for the short term until she's old enough to go to Nursery?

I understand thats not for all couples and no two are the same. sometimes we have to do what we have to do to make ends meet and provide the best for our children ifykwim.

xxxxx

 

[kaz1983]

If it had been possible I wasnt going to go back to work but its just not gonna happen. Im having to go back full time, luckily hubby is off 2 or 3 days thru the working week because of his shift pattern so in the main it will be him looking after minion though I will no doubt be on the phon constantly asking how minion is and be eager to get home as quick as possible at the end of the day to see them both xxx

 

[NavyLouise]

I guess money is a big worry for most of us now. I'm hoping to take a years maternity (with a month annual leave included) but that means essentially a year of living off bread and jam as my husbands money and my smp will just cover bills and mortgage! After that it's back to work full time and little one will have to go to nursery which breaks my heart.
Annoying thing is that nursery is so expensive we will only be a tiny bit better off - you can't win. Sadly money does dictate these decisions and it's so, so unfair that if you're a couple paying your way you get no help.

I'm hoping my husband gets a really well payed job in he next few months or we win the lottery.. Let's keep dreaming!

 

[jennilisanne]

I went straight back full time, as it just wasn't an option for work to have me back part time (I would have done myself out of a job!). It's been fine for me, I love it, and I get home about 5.30pm so still get a few hours in the morning and a few in the evening . To be honest, it was good timing, I wasn't able to keep up with her every day every day. She's at nursery 4 days a week and is thouroughly thriving on it and playing with the other kids.

You'll cope, because you have to! We don't live on much at all either, but you manage!

 

[Loula]

im soo sorried about what kinda state my finances are going to be in but its like everyone says we will manage.
I am a single mummy but intend on going back to work hopefully part time but i can see this not being an option so baby will have to go to nursery, looks like that swhere all my money will go x

 

[Sammyxo]

I actually quit my job in January because I hated it so much, was commuting 2 hours each way and was treated awfully. However I wasn't expecting to be pregnant now, so I'm in a bit of a pickle too financially. So far I have been getting by unemployed through setting up my own small ebay business online, i've not claimed ANY benefits since I left my job in January, it's just something I've tried never to do.

However my OH has been working for himself too, not set up as a business yet as not really earning anything but it's been his dream to do what he's doing and he's tried so hard so I don't feel like I can stop him doing it. So I guess we're both technically unemployed right now.

My OH and I completely separate our rent/bills etc and I pay my own way. Now I'm expecting I need to go and sign on or something as we're going to have no money, but my OH doesn't want to and we have to make a joint claim, so looks like I'm not going to be able to get anything

Don't know what we'll do. At the same time I would hate to know I have to go back to a job I hate after. How long do you have to stay in your job after you return? Maybe you could start searching for part time jobs instead?

 

[SRob]

Fortunately I am not in this situation as luckily my OH pays the way. But my parents went through this and got very limited benefits as they only just earned above the threshold - they really struggled and had to have their parents bring over food hampers as they were so strapped. My mum and dad worked extremely hard and continus too, all for the sake of myself and my sister... and you know what, I never even knew that mum and dad struggled financially, my childhood was amazing despite it all.

You'll be a wonderful mum whether you go back to work full time, part time or not at all. Honestly it'll work itself out. (Sorry that isn't good advice!!).

All the very best

 

[Sammyxo]

I never even knew that mum and dad struggled financially, my childhood was amazing despite it all.

Aww how sweet, this was exactly the same as with me, my parents struggled a lot. You can make it work and have happy children even if you are on a low budget

 

[V1ck176s]

I fill ur pain girls I'm in the same boat I have cried all last night ad today because were not entitled to anything and I don't way to go back to work straight away and miss out on my princess life !

The system is so wrong ! I actually don't no what to do!
Xx

 

[Lolly85x]

I am the same, an will be returning to work 4 full days a week, working 32 hours. Not ideal and I'm going to miss my baby so much. My mum will look after baby one day a week, and my bf one day an we will have to pay child care for the other 2, which is ridiculous as it would be about the same amount as my wages for the day...x

 

[EssJayPea]

Thanks all so much for your advice and sharing your experiences with me.

Still feel really anxious. Had a talk with oh and I got really upset and it snowballed into an argument. Don't think it was a good idea to start the conversation when I was feeling so emotional.

Anyway, I'm not sure we have many options but for me to go back as many hours as I can. I'm gutted but want my little girl to have the best start.

Thanks again xxx