Missing my baby

[megsmeadow]

Just that. I'd have been 30 weeks tomorrow, 9 and a half weeks since we said goodbye. Missing my bump and baby wriggle. Missing all the planning, all the organising of finances pre mat leave. Missing the wonder of how labour will turn out and who our little one will look like.
Reality is we know how labour went, we know who she looked like, I just will never know what kind of milk she prefers, what her first smile would look like. Feeling pretty sad, for all those things we will never get the chance to share and experience with her.
Having one of those moments. x

 

[lisa1985]

Thinking of you I would be 27 weeks now, I was 10 weeks when I miscarried and not a day has passed where I don't think about. It is very hard and I cannot imagine how sad you must be feeling right now. Stay strong xx

 

[jodie34]

Im sorry i carnt say anything to help ease your pain but i can send a hug to u and your hubby xxxx

 

[laurat]

Xxxx

 

[Natalilly1288]

Thinking of you hunny can't begin to imagine how your feeling breaks my heart big hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[nds]

i'm so sorry for your loss.

i'm sorry i can't say 'i know how you feel', because i've never experienced quite what you have. but, i have experienced losing my girl at just eight hours old, and although the what-if moments aren't quite the same, i do sit and wonder too.

i too wonder if she'd of liked the milk we bought, my girl would be 13 weeks old, and be smiling now, babbling away, etc. getting pregnant again has been the only thing keeping me going. there are some lovely stories out there, of ladies going on to get pregnant and give birth to a healthy child. your first child will never be replaced, they will still be yours, forever and always, and i'm positive they would wish they were here with you too.

these feelings won't ever go away, but i hope one day that they become easier for you and your family. sending you lots of love and best wishes, i'm sorry i can't help, anything i could say has been said to me already, all the cliche 'everything will be okay' crap, i know it won't make you feel any better, but please know i myself and all these lovely ladies are here anytime you need a shoulder to cry on or a virtual hug!

lots of love to you xxx

 

[lisey]

Thinking of you, there are no words that I can say that can possibly ease the pain but we are all here for you and sending you virtual hugs xx

 

[megsmeadow]

Thank you all so much for replying. I just had one of those days. My colleagues are asking how I am and I'm happy to talk about my little girl. But it leaves me deep in thought. We also received our leaf to engrave that will go onto our local tree of tranquility in Edinburgh. Just have to decide on the right words.

 

[nds]

that's beautiful x

 

[lisey]

What a lovely idea. I am sure you will think of some beautiful words to write xx

 

[megsmeadow]

It's amazing to think our losses are all so different, and our tiny babies all so unique, but we're all mums, hurting and grieving. Thanks for being there for me. X

 

[VickyClare]

Hi Megs, I feel exactly the way you do. I would be 24/25 weeks by now and I'm finding it hard to cope. I know what you mean about planning too. All those dreams. I feel your pain. I just wish things had been different for us both and for many other moms on here.

My thoughts are with you.

*hugs* xxx

 

[nds]

that's what we're all here for megsmeadow take care xx

 

[Eryinera]

That's such a lovely thought with that tree. It will be nice to hear what words you finally decide upon if you feel comfortable enough to share them with us.

*hugs*

 

[Simoneh00]

I would have a 15 month old our Luna was 36 weeks when she passed.
Massive hugs. If you ever want a chat I'm only a pm away and have all the time in the world.
That tree is beautiful. There's one similar where my brother and sister are buried, but people leave wind chimes.
I'm gonna make Luna's grave really pretty this year when the weather gets nicer xx

 

[hopewishdream]

I'm so sorry for your loss *hugs*

The tree of tranquillity is absolutely beautiful! xxx

 

[T84]

What a lovely idea for the tree, I live in edinburgh too but have never heard of it. Thinking of you x x

 

[megsmeadow]

It's created by SiMBA, you can ask for a leaf via their website. It's in the Saughton winter gardens. x