Miscarriage Advice Please > Very Numb & Confused!

[happy-chick]

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[kimisgirl]

Hi hun,

so sorry to hear your bad news it's never an easy process but hopefully you will find some comfort and support here.

Most of us have had different experiences when it comes to M/c so you may find your experience will differ from what we say happened to us. My main advice is please please do not be afraid to ask for advice or help from your GP.

I also had a missed M/c where I should have been 10 weeks but the scan showed an empty sac that had stopped growing at 8 weeks. I had decided to have a D&C but before I had made an appointment things happened naturally. I only spotted with no pains for a few days but then started to have contractions and basically went into labour and 'passed' the empty sac in hospital. But that is not to say this will happen to you.

If you can I would suggest making an appointment with your GP and maybe asking them to explain whats likely to happen next and how you can best manage pain etc.
I found that a really hot bath helped to start things off also.

It is normal to have severe pain, this could be your body preparing to 'expel' the product or you could be breaking the product down and may just have a very heavy period. If you start to bleed very heavily for a long period of time (much heavier than a normal period) then phone your EPAU or GP for advice.

I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to ask for advice or help, please don't suffer in silence or be afraid to make a fuss, you are going through a traumatic experience and need to make it as easy as possible for yourself.

You will probably find that you emotionally you will cope very well, we seem to find strength from somewhere to get through it and then break down afterwards (having a very tearfull day today myself)

If you want to talk or need anymore advice we are here for you hun, but please avail of your GP and EPAU for specific management to your personal situation.

sending you lots of love hun xx

 

[tracey 2]

firstly hun im sorry for your loss.

I think kimisgirl has said a lot of important stuff and i wont repeat all of that except that everyones m/c is different and if you are in a lot of pain or bleeding lots and lots then please get yourself checked out.

Like you say the doctors do say to wait for 1 period after then you can but everyone is different and some women know when they are physically and emotionally ready please listen to your body.

With my first m/c i had a d&c which i asked for as i just couldnt put myself through m/c naturally, but my 2nd i m/c naturally. With the d&c you will have everything cleaned out where with a natural m/c you may bleed for a while and sometimes you will need a d&c to clean the rest out (but thats rare) but i still bleed for a few days after the d&c. what im saying is that it is a very personal choice for you and do what you feel comfortable with ok, this is just my views and my experience.

You will go through a range of emotions over the next few weeks, months and just work through them one by one dont shut them away.

We are all here if you ever need to talk hun ok, please let us know if we can help at all.

 

[Happybunny]

Hi honey,

I am so sorry for your loss, it is very sad. You will find lots of support here, I hope we can help you through this really sad time. As Kim and Tracey have said, no two mc are the same, but we do really understand how you are feeling and want to help in any way we can.

"Terrified of seeing people and them asking how the pregnancy is going cos I will probably burst into tears! "

Don't be terrified to show your emotions...it can be difficult for people who have not experienced it to understand just how gutting it can be...but talking about your feelings is really healthy and you will find that most people will really understand.

"I have some questions for people who may have been in the same position:

1/ Im getting some severe pains so that I cant even walk at times, is this normal or cause for concern. Im not bleeding that much, just spotting?"

My nurse said that if there is severe pain and /or severe bleeding you must go to A&E straight away. Please don't feel embarrassed about making a fuss...docs will want to help you early , rather than treat someone who is dangerously ill.
I got a lot of strong AF cramps...but combination of ibuprofen, paracetamol and codeine helped that. If you are getting debilitating pain, please go and get checked out just in case there is a complication.

"2/ How soon after the process could we try again safely, I have read it is wise to wait until I have completed one menstrual cycle? "

I have read that too and nurse confirmed it. I have had first AF now and TTC again straight away.

"3/ How long will it take to miscarry naturally or does it depend? "

Again, different for everyone. Mine took about 10 days, but had some weird on off bleeding for a few days at the end. I then got odd bit of blood and/or browny discharge throughout the month after.


"4/ What are the pro's and con's of a d&c? "

I have not had a d&c, I mc naturally both times (not by choice), but if I had a choice I would have chose d&c because bleeding is over quicker. (Although some girls on here have bad experiences with d&c. they are better equipped to answer this.) I did not like natural mc...took ages and was painful and heartbreaking when I passed the sac.

"5/ My boobs are still sore, still got morning sickness etc - how long will this take to pass?"

It took me about a week after I began to mc for symptoms to go. Some people have posted saying they were still getting BFPs up to 7 weeks after. Everyone is different.

I know you must be feeling overwhelmed and very dissapointed at the moment. I hope you come back to see us and let us know how you are getting on...sending you big hugs
Michelle
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[neeko_1]

i'm so sorry

 

[happy-chick]

Thanks guys, will be checking back when i feel up to it to expect to see me around!

 

[sarah113]

Im so sorry hun

 

[puppylove]

Hi im so sorry to hear of ur loss just try and stay strong and as the other girls have said no 2 m/c r the same i bleed only for 2 days and didnt have a d/c as there was nothing left inside when i went for my scan.

take care puppy xx

 

[fynemum]

so sorry for your loss sweetheart I have read the replies too and they all tell there story and give good advice, Happy Bunny made some very very good valid points and I can't add anything to what has already been written, Please listen to the girls, Go to A&E and get more advice and help from them. know your not alone and we will all be here for you as you grieve and then as you indicate TTC again,
You take care doll, Lv Yvonne xx

 

[happy-chick]

c

 

[Happybunny]

Hi Jo,

Sounds like a bad night, poor you! I am glad you went to the hospital, I find it appaling that they kept you so long though! At least you have been checked out though, so much pain can be really frightening, I hope you are feeling a little more relxed now.

Hopefully you are right and the bleeding will come to a halt over the next few days...it is a constant reminder of what has happened. You haven't had much time to really digest what has happened...you have been in auto pilot. Don't be disheartened over the next few weeks and months if you do feel overcome by emotions. It is very natural to grieve for your little one. It just takes time for you to come out of shock and begin to process everything.

There are loads of us here who are only to willing to help. Come on here and rant and rave all you like...we've all done it! You will feel better in time, I promise!

I hope this week gets easier for you Jo, thinking of you and sending more hugs
Lots of love
Michelle
xx

 

[happy-chick]

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