MIL Offering to do my house work.

[NIE]

She called and offered today, and even though I declined her offer, she is coming tomorrow to get started.

My house is not to it's usual standard and my hubby is a lazy git and could do a lot more, but I really don't want her coming over.

I am still waiting on the nesting thing really kicking in, and in fact I'm looking forward to it.

I don't want to sound ungrateful, and it was a nice offer, but she does things differently from me and would probably spend the whole day asking me questions on what she should do and how to do it.

I am probably just hormonal but I got upset at her offer as I felt that was her polite way of saying that my house was a mess. My hubby got the brunt of it as I felt incompetent, which is the last thing I need right now as I am having real difficulty focusing on the positives of pregnancy at the moment.

I know this all sounds bad, but I am feeling really down at the moment and just want to meet my baby boy. xxx

 

[budge]

thats a lovelt gesture from your MIL.

accept -

 

[NIE]

I know I should jump at the chance.

Maybe it would suit me better if I was feeling more like my usual self. It would be good to make it fun and go out for lunch and things instead of it all being a chore.

Infact I think I will get hubby to call her and do just that. In the meantime he will just have to help me more around the house. xx

 

[tuck]

My MIL did this when I was pregnant and she also used to send food round for us, I 1st took this as you felt, that I wasnt up to scratch but I then realised that it was just her way of helping out, although my mum lives in a differant country my MIL didnt want to 'step on anyone's toes' and so by her doing this she felt like she was doing something to make things easier. I would give in gracefully and take the chance to be spoilt!

 

[budge]

My MIL did this when I was pregnant and she also used to send food round for us, I 1st took this as you felt, that I wasnt up to scratch but I then realised that it was just her way of helping out, although my mum lives in a differant country my MIL didnt want to 'step on anyone's toes' and so by her doing this she felt like she was doing something to make things easier. I would give in gracefully and take the chance to be spoilt!

yeah well said. everyone wants to help -

 

[NIE]

Hubby has called her and we have arranged for her to come out next Monday.

I think I will see if she wants to help me sort out all the baby clothes and do all the finishing touches to the nursery.

Maybe after that we could arrange something like once a week she can come over for the day to help me with the housework, do some shopping, go out for lunch and have dinner before taking her home at night.

How do you all think that sounds? Do I seem ungrateful or will I be taking advantage of her?

 

[Babylicious]

That sounds a good idea, she might just want to be involved

Wish my MIL would come do my housework

 

[NIE]

I really do want her involved as this will be her first grandchild, but I don't want to have my privacy invaded.

Hubby seems quite happy with the idea aswell, so hopefully we are all happy. xxx

 

[Sammystar]

I'd jump at the offer! What a nice lady!

The last weeks of the pregnancy are always tough, so take help wherever you can. You'll also appreciate it once LO is in the world.

 

[mum2be?]

what a nice offer


if you dont need her this week send her to mine

 

[libs]

I don't have a mil anymore (and tbh we didn't like each other before she died ) but my mum always does housework etc for us just before and after a baby and sends food for ages.....I think that may be why DH wants us TTC again

 

[SarahH]

I hate it when my MIL does my housework..... she does everything differently and it just annoys me.

Like if she does the laundry she folds the jeans with creases/seams down the middle

And she moves all my cupboards about!

She is lovely, but she dont clean like me!

 

[pammie]

My mum just lets her self in and does it when am not there,,, i use to hate it but do you know what i love it now my life is too busy and sometimes i worry about how am going to do everything and then all of a sudden i come home from work and its spotless, My MIL comes over from ireland and starts doing it while am there and that annoyed me for a while but it annoyed my mother even more when she critizised my cleaning (when infact it was my mothers ) I was wetting myself laughing best comedy i have had i years, I say put your feet up and enjoy it and if she asks you where to put things tell her you dont care she can do what she wants and would she mind making you a cuppa while your watching jeremy kyle oh and dont forget the biscuits hehe

 

[M&Ms]

I wish someone had offered to come and do my housework for me. Me and housework are like chalk and cheese! I'd accept the offer myself

 

[pammie]

My mum just lets her self in and does it when am not there,,, i use to hate it but do you know what i love it now my life is too busy and sometimes i worry about how am going to do everything and then all of a sudden i come home from work and its spotless, My MIL comes over from ireland and starts doing it while am there and that annoyed me for a while but it annoyed my mother even more when she critizised my cleaning (when infact it was my mothers ) I was wetting myself laughing best comedy i have had i years, I say put your feet up and enjoy it and if she asks you where to put things tell her you dont care she can do what she wants and would she mind making you a cuppa while your watching jeremy kyle oh and dont forget the biscuits hehe

 

[M&Ms]

I wish someone had offered to come and do my housework for me. Me and housework are like chalk and cheese! I'd accept the offer myself

 

[emma28]

When I was in hospital, my DH came to visit and proudly told me that his mum had been to clean our bathroom I was horrified and absolutely furious. I never said anything to her but I went mental at him for letting her.
If he said said that she'd been to freshen the house up for me getting out or something that would have been different, but I felt like she was specifically saying that our bathroom was minging, and her house is nowt to write home about....

Now I see that when you're pregnant and in hospital, or just pregnant, people (if you are lucky) just want to help and there isn't really that many ways they can tbh. I know it's hard letting people do for you cos it's like saying you can't cope, and none of us want to admit to that after all!

I realised too late though, cos I don't hear any offers of help now...and I've got a 3yr old aswell as a husband to see to

 

[lauramumof2]

Hubby has called her and we have arranged for her to come out next Monday.

I think I will see if she wants to help me sort out all the baby clothes and do all the finishing touches to the nursery.

Maybe after that we could arrange something like once a week she can come over for the day to help me with the housework, do some shopping, go out for lunch and have dinner before taking her home at night.

How do you all think that sounds? Do I seem ungrateful or will I be taking advantage of her?

You arent taking advantage if she offered silly
I was bemused once to come home and find my mil had done my ironing. Then i was delighted because she completely cleared the basket, even the stuff i always leave because of pleats and creases,

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

I am the same way i like things done my way and if somone else does it ide just take forever fixing it anyways so badthat way even after my sections i had a very hard time accepting help but i had no choice after i was healed took me a good week to get the house back to how i liked it

 

[sazzylou]

ive becaome really weird about my housework, even with my own mum. I dont like people doing it differently and id rather they just entertained my daughter while i do it (even though im knackered)

I dont know what my problem is...i wish i could just let them do it. But i winds me up....I dont mean to.