men

[gangofgin]

well, i found out i was pregnant last monday night after doing some home tests. both me and my OH went to the doctors the next day to inform them i was pregnant. we've had plenty of discussions about having children, like in the past and since finding out i was pregnant. at first i was in tears and quite scared and he reassured me everything would be fine and we could manage. keeping the baby or not, was never something i had to decide, he knows my views and abortion and knows i wouldnt have one, and i thought i knew his too.
the thing is, my OH lives and works in london, and i live in blackpool. before i found out i was pregnant, the plan was for me to move to london with him, and in the long run, for him to sell up and we both move round here.
when i found out i was pregnant, i told him i really didnt want to move to london, away from all my family and all my friends. things have been plodding along for the past week, but we've not really discussed any proper plans, but i was hoping he would just put forward selling up and moving here.
well, last night he told me that he feels like any decision is out of his hands and ive just told him whats happening.
i have not done this, the only thing i have told him is that i am keeping this baby, but i thought i wouldnt have really even had to have told him that because its what he wanted too.
its like he thinks the best thing is to just ignore it for a bit, and have to deal with the 'problem' nearer the time.
i said to him, ok lets go back to when i made the decisions, i'll not make any and you tell me what you think. so im pregnant, what do you want me to do? and he actually said, no joke 'errr, i dunno, what do you want to do?'
naturally i called him an 'f***ing idiot'
its not like this bloke is a kid, hes 38 and im 24.
he thinks hes the only scared one, and that im completely calm. in the end, after hours of going round in circles he answered my 'what do you want me to do about being pregnant' by saying 'just carry on'
i said 'so if i just carry on being pregnant, what do you think will happen?' and he answered with the popular 'dunno'. i gave him a little lesson about what happens when women are pregnant after 9 months and he told me being sarcastic wasnt the answer. after about 6 hours of arguning, we decided that he doesnt want to move here and leave his friends and i dont want to move there and leave my family or friends.

this morning, i am none the wiser to whats going to happen.
i am having this baby, with him or without him

why are men such morons? and why didnt i just turn lesbian

 

[freepie]

Hiya.....


I know you are saying that you cant do without your friends and family when the baby comes, but you will need your OH. I know you may not think that now, but trust me, you will.

Are you sure you would not move south with him, at least for the baby coming? I am just wondering, if he is prepared to support you financiually etc, then maybe you could make it work?

I know its hard to up root and go somewhere new, but do you not think that its worth a try?

Just trying to come up with a solution... because you staying where you are, and him staying where he is will be very hard.... if he is the one to financially support you & the baby, then perhaps you could look into moving south, enabling him to keep his job?

I dont know, just trying to think of something! i am sure you will get it all sorted in the end....

 

[jenna]

aww hun he sounds a little selfish. Cant you compramise and move inbetween?

 

[gangofgin]

i have suggested moving to manchester, he could easily get work there with what he does. then we're both in the same boat and its much closer for me visiting my family or them coming to me. its about 1 hour 30 minutes away from where i live now and about 2 hours away from him.
if i moved to london, he lives in a 1 bedroomed flat and with house prices the way they are down south, we'd never be able to manage much more than that, up north we'd be alright for accom.

he doesnt want to leave london though, he said 'well i could try' but i knew he was saying it to shut me up because he'd rather not have to talk about things.

 

[jenna]

if you want to live together then either one of you or both of you are going to have to move lol. Since your pregnant id say he should move if its possible for him to find work where ever it is you move to.

 

[Louise1973]

From experience, I'd say moving to where one of you already is, is the best option if you think you can make things work.

Me and an ex (who's home towns were nearly 300miles apart) decided to move to a completely new area, and were both unhappy cos neither of us had any friends or family close by & every weekend was spent travelling to one or the other of ours home towns! Not ideal.

Also - if you aren't able to work things through with your OH, just know that you're not the only one 'going it alone'. There are tonnes of single mum's out there... I'm gonna be one too. Your OH will have to pay maintenance if you decide to part ways & you friends and family will all be on hand to help you out. So don't feel too down & apprehensive & do what's right for you and LO.