Men - Why are they such cold heartless Ba******

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by emma1976, Nov 6, 2005.

  1. emma1976

    emma1976 Well-Known Member

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    This is the first time I have actually cried over my ex since we split npot long ago, after everything I have been through with him through this pregnancy. Him not being there and putting everything before me and baby and cheating on me etc, he is also 39 going on 20. Anyway, he contacts me maybe once a week if that not even to find out about baby sometimes, this is via text. Anyway I had a drunk call last night and me being miss soft answers the call at 3.30am to see if he is ok. Usual crap that he loves me and baby and then he can't cope in his pathetic whimpering voice. Went on for about 1/2 hour and he got taxi home eventually. Then calls me from hom to say he got back OK. Then he tells me that he is once again in contact and God knows what else with this woman that he was seeing just before me. Don't think he meant to, well he probably did to hurt me, bearing in mind he isn't an emailing and texting person, well never has to me anyway let alone now when I am 3 weeks off my due date and gonna be a single parent. So off he goes about how he is just talking to her via email and text etc, which really really hurt me as he can be assed to reply to someone he was never interested in in the first place just kocking her off and about 3 others at the same time. Made up excuses she mailed him first, so now not only does he contact this one he was never interested in via mail he has her number back as well. This has obvioulsy hurt me loads as I can't believe he has the nerve to call me crying about baby and then tell me he is back in contact with this other woman. I mean what is he trying to do to me, I am 3 weeks off giving birth, shitting myself and trying to cope alone because I can never trust him, and here he is telling me that he contacts this ex of his and can't be bothered to contact me in anyway to see if the health of his unborn child is OK. The last email I got said this
    Hi,Hope you and baby are ok. I haven’t been in touch because I lost your mobile no when my phone crashed the other day. If you don’t want me to have it then I’ll just use the landline in an emergency. Not sure what you intend to do when you go into labour but I’ll find out (or not as the case may be) sometime soon. Not much else to say really. It was an excuse for getting rid of my number.
    Am I being an idiot for getting upset about this as he really has put the icing on the cake now. Or am I being unreasonable. To me this bloke is a joke for someone who is nearly 40. Also I was willing to give him rights even though he has already said he has blocked me and baby out. Obviously by the sounds of it. He can take me to court now if he wants rights. I have had too much stress from him and now after this I wish he would just bugger off for good. My dad agrees and had to see me upset over it today. I'm scared enough about everything as it is without him doing this to me now :(

    Thanks for listening.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  2. Hypnorm

    Hypnorm Well-Known Member

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    Oh Em, Sorry to hear he is being such an arse! Men just don't think, though there are afew decent people out there.
    Remember you cab get the child support agency involved and he will have to pay some sort of maintenance towards the child.
    Is there any one who you could really rely on to be supportive at the birth, this guy just dioesn't seem to understand.
    You can email me if you want a chat.
    Don't get upset ove rhim he's not worth it, he really needs to grow up..
    Does he live on his own? or with his mum?
    Just i use to go out with a guy who was 13 yrs older than me, and he still lived with his mum and said that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, but never made the effort to move out or commit so in the end he lost me. and i am now married
     
  3. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    Hi Em,

    ((((((Emma)))))). You're not being unreasonable at all- the guy is all over the place and is clearly very very selfish and unthinking. I know you're trying you best to be fair to him with the baby etc but if I were you I just wouldn't answer any more of these drunken late night calls. If he was serious about being responsible he would phone you in the day when he was sober and sort things out like an adult. I think he needs help to be honest as he sounds like an emotional wreck. At some time in the future you're right, you'll have to have adult conversations about your baby etc but right now his hysterics are the very last thing that you need hun.

    I'm so sorry he's being such a b*stard, he may even have made all that stuff up about the ex because he's trying to hurt you- he does say spiteful things that he knows will hurt doesn't he?

    You've got lots of people that love you around you- I'd focus my attention on them if I were you and try not to dwell on him right now if you can.

    Take care and pm me if you want to chat more
    +++
     
  4. emma1976

    emma1976 Well-Known Member

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    He moved out and went to uni when he wasn younger and has apartments in Bristol and Bolton, he has a well paid job and works hard and thinks his money gets him everywhere and the women. The majority of the time it gets the women as he likes to show his money off. Not me though that was one reason why I left cos he is money orientated and controlling. me being from a council estate and shopping in high street stores like New Look and stuff and bing down to earth and him in his designer gear a Porche and a BMW ???? and having his midlife crises acting like he was 20 just didn't mix, I felt it intimidating and wasn't the life I liked. To many women yeah, having a posh apartment and a bloke with a lot of money sounds great but not for me. I just wanted to feel loved and he ruined it all by buggering off to parties and weekends away etc during the hardest parts of the pregnancy cos he couldn;t cope. Anyway, I just can't believe he could do that. He used to call all the time when he was drunk then it all stopped and then one out the blue last night that he can't cope then tells me all about this other woman again. I mean why? What does he get from hurting me. :( Sorry probably just hormonal too - and tired. xxxxxxxxx
     
  5. Hypnorm

    Hypnorm Well-Known Member

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    sounds like he needs the smart cars to boost his ego - as my hubby says 'big car = small dick' (sorry girls)
    40 going on 18.
    Sorry em but you sound better off without him, if he hasn't grown up now will he ever, he might realise what he's missed ot on once its too late and you've found happiness elsewhere
     
  6. twinkle

    twinkle Member

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    Sorry to hear what your going through Im going through a lot of crap with my ex as he cheated as well when I was pregnant we have now split but its really hard especially being pregnant, if you ever want to chat just pm me anytime.
     
  7. emma1976

    emma1976 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks honey. Hope you are coping ok xxxx
     
  8. Amanda & Bump

    Amanda & Bump Well-Known Member

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    I know how it feels, at this moment in time i dont know if i'm with babies dad or not cos he's not bothering....changes his mind from week to week etc. He cheated on me as well and stupidly i gave him another chance. It's all going pete tong for me too but we have our babies. I feel so sorry for you cos you really don't need this 3 weeks before your due date, some men just don't grow up i'm afraid...my babies father is 34, with the mentality of a pig!! We'll be ok, we just got to stick together and try to be strong for our unborn babies...i'm losing all faith in men totally! But i have my babies and thats all that matters. I really do know how you must be feeling, if you need me, you know how to get hold of me.
    Kepp your chin up hun. We've got everything, they have nothing!
    Talk soon
    Amanda & Bump
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  9. Amanda & Bump

    Amanda & Bump Well-Known Member

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    I meant to say i have my babie, theres definately only one in there!! hahaha

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  10. twinkle

    twinkle Member

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    It seems like were all having a crap time of it with men but just you wait in a few years time we will meet someone else and wonder why we ever went with the losers in the first place then we will have the last laugh.

    I know we don't feel to good just now but we have to get through this and leave them where they belong in the gutter lol!
     
  11. Amanda & Bump

    Amanda & Bump Well-Known Member

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    We'll be ok girlies, we've got each other to try support. A lady wrote they're just sperm donors and they will regret there choices one day, and i agree with her totally....another one was it takes a boy to make a baby but a man to be a father, it's all true. Day by day i'm starting to think i'll be a better mother without him anyway, cos all he does is get my hopes up, tells me what i wanna hear and then drops me like a sack of spuds wondering whats going on.
    Don't get me wrong i can physically feel my heart bursting with the pain, hurt and rejection but i know i'll be best off without him. So will you girls, honestly, we're all going to be fine.
    Take care, talk soon

    loads and loads of love and best wishes from
    Amanda & Bump
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  12. twinkle

    twinkle Member

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    The ex's are probably just playing with our heads as they think they have us just where they want us in a position where no one else will want us but we will not be pregnant forever then we will show them that there not mr universe just scum bags and we will all meet new partners and never look back, well thats what I keep telling myself and it keeps me going lol!
     
  13. Amanda & Bump

    Amanda & Bump Well-Known Member

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    I can't wait to have my baby and be looking my best again!! He is soooo gonna regret not wanting us. I really hope by then i wont want him at all and get my revenge back on him. We will be great mums and sooner or later they will really regret what they've done.
    As hard as it is, i'm sure you all feel the same that this is like living in hell every day but the day our babies are born, it will hopefully start feeling like heaven, especially while holding our little angels in our arms.
    We have to be strong and stick together, we understand how each others feeling i guess.
    If any of you need me then just pm me.
    I'm in a mess too but a very good listener. Take care girlies and bumps xxxxxxxxxxx
     

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