Really thinking of you, it's so not easy! I would agree with all the advice about feeding on demand, you can't get a little person to take milk if they don't want to! I would also echo Valentine's advice about Karla Napier's clinic at the ERI, it was so good for me and James (but the room's incredibly hot, so wear layers!). My OH came too and it helped him as feeding for us was a 3 person job!
Make or break time for BFing- ffs!! updated
- Thread starter kmac
- Start date
Hiya
TBH I wouldn't worry about the 2 hours thing, it sounds like it's stressing you out for a start, but also thee's nothing wrong with demand feeding at all if you enjoy it and cope better with it then do it.
I also agree with Valentine about the weighing thing, you will be able to tell if your baby is happy and content. If he's pooing and weeing then you can't be going far wrong
What breastpump are you using? Some people have better results with a different pump...and also try expressing after a shower or a bath.
Always remember you baby will be able to get more milk out than any pump will so maybe don't look at amounts too much.
Is there a "baby cafe" or a "breastfeeding cafe" near you?
It sounds like you're doing great so far, honestly. try not to worry too much, and its not the end of the world if you want to top up a little to reassure yourself
TBH I wouldn't worry about the 2 hours thing, it sounds like it's stressing you out for a start, but also thee's nothing wrong with demand feeding at all if you enjoy it and cope better with it then do it.
I also agree with Valentine about the weighing thing, you will be able to tell if your baby is happy and content. If he's pooing and weeing then you can't be going far wrong
What breastpump are you using? Some people have better results with a different pump...and also try expressing after a shower or a bath.
Always remember you baby will be able to get more milk out than any pump will so maybe don't look at amounts too much.
Is there a "baby cafe" or a "breastfeeding cafe" near you?
It sounds like you're doing great so far, honestly. try not to worry too much, and its not the end of the world if you want to top up a little to reassure yourself
I'm using a Medela electric pump that the health visitor loaned to me.
I have a manual one of my own, but that would be hard going every feed!
I've decided to just get up at 3am instead of 2 and 4 - unless of course he is letting me know he's hungry.
I have a manual one of my own, but that would be hard going every feed!
I've decided to just get up at 3am instead of 2 and 4 - unless of course he is letting me know he's hungry.
Well I took him to the health centre ad weighed him - he's only put on 30g since thursday.
To be honest at the moment it doesn't seem worth this horrendous regime - which is what it is.
I rang the health visitor number and someone phoned me back, but she obviously can't say when/if it will all fall into place. All i know is I can't carry on like this much longer.
She did say it's good he has gone up, if only a small amount, and the important thing is he goes through plenty nappies and seems fine in himself - which he does - but again, how long am I expected to keep this up??
Maybe I'm just not producing enogh and i never will? So how long is long enough to have really tried?
I am so tired and starting to feel really miserable. I want tto enjoy my baby.
The BFing advisor is coming back to see me tomorrow but obviously she will be persuading me to continue.
I also have my mum coming in the afternoon - so not looking forward to updating her on the situation
How do I know what's best?
To be honest at the moment it doesn't seem worth this horrendous regime - which is what it is.
I rang the health visitor number and someone phoned me back, but she obviously can't say when/if it will all fall into place. All i know is I can't carry on like this much longer.
She did say it's good he has gone up, if only a small amount, and the important thing is he goes through plenty nappies and seems fine in himself - which he does - but again, how long am I expected to keep this up??
Maybe I'm just not producing enogh and i never will? So how long is long enough to have really tried?
I am so tired and starting to feel really miserable. I want tto enjoy my baby.
The BFing advisor is coming back to see me tomorrow but obviously she will be persuading me to continue.
I also have my mum coming in the afternoon - so not looking forward to updating her on the situation
How do I know what's best?
But kmac he's put on weight which I think is brilliant and please see that as a positive. I have no idea how much 30g is as I didn't lbs/ozs but I wouldn't expect to see loads in just four days anyway. I feel that you have become (through no fault of your own) really really stressed about this weight issue and if he is weeing/pooing regularly and developing well and thriving then I really would try to not worry about it (I know easier said than done).
You do sound at the end of your tether and really defeated though, and I don't think anyone could say you hadn't put 100% into your efforts to breastfeed. If you need to top up as well as breastfeeding or you have just had it with the whole thing then ultimately that's your decision, but I think you would need to have a really good think about how that would effect you mentally and emotionally? I've seen so many women on here give up (sorry not good way to phrase it, but can't think how else to say stop breastfeeding after battling) and feel so awful for weeks/months afterwards.
Re. you not producing enough, although its easy for me to say, I think you are. There have been some breastfeeders on here as noted above who have not been able to produce anything from either kind of pump. Its not necessarily an indication of how much milk you are producing.
Re. your Mum - it sounds like the visit is going to confuse you even more as your Mum just wants you to be happy and start to enjoy your baby but I strongly believe that she should be encouraging you to keep going. If I was you I'd be economical with the truth and try to steer clear of the subject if possible, or delay her visit for a week or so?
From knowing you just a wee bit (sorry if this is presumptuous), I don't think in your heart of hearts, you are ready to switch to formula 100%, I think give it a few more weeks of feeding on demand and everything will just fall into place. You do sound absolutely exhausted and defeated, it really is hard work isn't it, but I think you can do this. Try and sleep as much as possible in the evenings or when Kian sleeps during the day or at the weekends to build up your strength.
to you, I'm behind you whatever you decide to do, but have faith that you can do this! I wouldn't be helping you at this moment in time if I told you you should switch to formula, as that's got to be your decision, but for what its worth, I think you can break the breastfeeding.
Lots of love
Valentine Xxx
You do sound at the end of your tether and really defeated though, and I don't think anyone could say you hadn't put 100% into your efforts to breastfeed. If you need to top up as well as breastfeeding or you have just had it with the whole thing then ultimately that's your decision, but I think you would need to have a really good think about how that would effect you mentally and emotionally? I've seen so many women on here give up (sorry not good way to phrase it, but can't think how else to say stop breastfeeding after battling) and feel so awful for weeks/months afterwards.
Re. you not producing enough, although its easy for me to say, I think you are. There have been some breastfeeders on here as noted above who have not been able to produce anything from either kind of pump. Its not necessarily an indication of how much milk you are producing.
Re. your Mum - it sounds like the visit is going to confuse you even more as your Mum just wants you to be happy and start to enjoy your baby but I strongly believe that she should be encouraging you to keep going. If I was you I'd be economical with the truth and try to steer clear of the subject if possible, or delay her visit for a week or so?
From knowing you just a wee bit (sorry if this is presumptuous), I don't think in your heart of hearts, you are ready to switch to formula 100%, I think give it a few more weeks of feeding on demand and everything will just fall into place. You do sound absolutely exhausted and defeated, it really is hard work isn't it, but I think you can do this. Try and sleep as much as possible in the evenings or when Kian sleeps during the day or at the weekends to build up your strength.
to you, I'm behind you whatever you decide to do, but have faith that you can do this! I wouldn't be helping you at this moment in time if I told you you should switch to formula, as that's got to be your decision, but for what its worth, I think you can break the breastfeeding. Lots of love
Valentine Xxx
Well I have had a good think and a talk with DH.
The priority at the moment is to get LO big and strong enough that he can feed for longer / take more on.
That's not happening just now because he isn't getting enough from me.
I am so tired /stressed it's not good for either of us, and I would imagine affecting my supply.
So we have decided to mix formula and breast for the time being. I know this will also affect my supply but at the moment this is the course of action I feel happiest with. I am constantly worried he isn't getting enough and at least if he has some formula I know he has had something to give him a boost.
I'm not going to beat myself up about it, i have tried really hard and he has had his first month more or less exclusively on breast milk. But I'm no good to him in this state. Also it gives us a bit of flexibility in leaving him with grandparents etc as at the moment I simply would not be able to express enough to leave.
Thanks for all your replies girls.
Sorry if you think I'm doing the wrong thing but it feels like the right thing for us at the moment.
xx
The priority at the moment is to get LO big and strong enough that he can feed for longer / take more on.
That's not happening just now because he isn't getting enough from me.
I am so tired /stressed it's not good for either of us, and I would imagine affecting my supply.
So we have decided to mix formula and breast for the time being. I know this will also affect my supply but at the moment this is the course of action I feel happiest with. I am constantly worried he isn't getting enough and at least if he has some formula I know he has had something to give him a boost.
I'm not going to beat myself up about it, i have tried really hard and he has had his first month more or less exclusively on breast milk. But I'm no good to him in this state. Also it gives us a bit of flexibility in leaving him with grandparents etc as at the moment I simply would not be able to express enough to leave.
Thanks for all your replies girls.
Sorry if you think I'm doing the wrong thing but it feels like the right thing for us at the moment.
xx
kmac said:
Aw kmac, no-one will think you are doing the wrong thing! If its right for you and you have taken time to make the decision, then its definitely the right one.
Mix feeding for the time being sounds like a brilliant compromise and one that has worked well for months and months for lots of posters on here. If you do want to return to exclusive breastfeeding at some point, then there are loads of relactation tips (for building your supply) online and on this forum, but for the meantime, mix feeding sounds like a good idea. I think you'll have to think about which feeds to replace with formula as its probably best for it to be the same feeds each day to help your supply. Have you also got the bottles that are like nipples? Just trying to avoid him getting nipple confusion.
Please try to avoid getting him weighed for a while, even with the top-ups. He may just be long and lean and a slow weight gainer. Which percentile line is he on in your red book? I know he was a big baby born, so a slow weight gain now may be a great weight gain for a smaller baby if you see what I mean. He sounds like he's doing really well and I can't wait to meet him!
Valentine Xxx
Hi kmac
Just wanted to post a guideline that I have followed re mix feeding which should make it easier to resume exclusive breastfeeding at a later date if you want to. Choose one or two feeds a day that you are going to feed your LO formula and make sure they are roughly the same time every day, this will ensure that the rest of the time when you are breastfeeding, you will have enough supply. As I mentioned before, we have been mix feeding for five months so don't stress too much about your supply dwindling because it can be done. If you then want to cut out one or both of the formula feeds you can start to express whilst your OH is bottle feeding for a few days. Then reintroduce him to the boob.
Hope you manage to get some well earned rest and piece of mind Mix feeding works really well for us and I'm sure everyone here supports your decision. I think you're doing really well hun
Just wanted to post a guideline that I have followed re mix feeding which should make it easier to resume exclusive breastfeeding at a later date if you want to. Choose one or two feeds a day that you are going to feed your LO formula and make sure they are roughly the same time every day, this will ensure that the rest of the time when you are breastfeeding, you will have enough supply. As I mentioned before, we have been mix feeding for five months so don't stress too much about your supply dwindling because it can be done. If you then want to cut out one or both of the formula feeds you can start to express whilst your OH is bottle feeding for a few days. Then reintroduce him to the boob.
Hope you manage to get some well earned rest and piece of mind
Mix feeding works really well for us and I'm sure everyone here supports your decision. I think you're doing really well hun Thanks
Yes V, we have the Tommee tippee bottles that are supposed to be like nipples.
Unfortunately I have to get him weighed on Thursday, health visitor is expecting him. I know you said i can refuse but I'll find out on Thursday how often they would envisage him being weighed from now on.
Thanks for the advice Mildly. I ight PM you some questions!!
xx
Yes V, we have the Tommee tippee bottles that are supposed to be like nipples.
Unfortunately I have to get him weighed on Thursday, health visitor is expecting him. I know you said i can refuse but I'll find out on Thursday how often they would envisage him being weighed from now on.
Thanks for the advice Mildly. I ight PM you some questions!!
xx
Well now I am totally confused.
The Bfing advisor has just been. Apparently when she said feed every 2 hours she meant wait 2 hours from the end of each feed. I was timing 2 hours from the start
When I was in hospital i asked whether times were from the start or the end and I was told the start. Dh was there and he remembers this so I know I didn't imagine it.
So now I'm wondering if i should keep trying a bit longer, maybe just give him one bottle a day if i'm struggling.
I feel like an idiot
The Bfing advisor has just been. Apparently when she said feed every 2 hours she meant wait 2 hours from the end of each feed. I was timing 2 hours from the start
When I was in hospital i asked whether times were from the start or the end and I was told the start. Dh was there and he remembers this so I know I didn't imagine it.
So now I'm wondering if i should keep trying a bit longer, maybe just give him one bottle a day if i'm struggling.
I feel like an idiot
Don't feel stupid - that is really confusing. As far as I know timings are usually classed as start of one feed to start of next. You've been given a lot of well meant and good advice - but the trouble is that you can't try every idea given to you, it's impossible! Do you have a gut feeling as to what you want to do - or maybe what you think would make you and baby happy. I'm all in favour of BF but it's also important to be happy with your decision. Sorry if that hasn't helped as it's not really an answer but only you can decide what's right for your family. If it was me I think I'd want to carry on a bit longer but you have to make a decision that you're comfortable with. I hope it works out well for you x
I've always been told to time feeds from start to start too, that's really annoying! How frustrating for you! If you are happier with this advice and this is more manageable, why not keep the formula in the house just in case and keep breastfeeding - and its there if you are struggling - I think this is a good plan.
Good luck lovely - sorry you're having such a hard time and not getting consistent advice.
Valentine Xxx
Good luck lovely - sorry you're having such a hard time and not getting consistent advice.
Valentine Xxx
kmac said:Well now I am totally confused.
The Bfing advisor has just been. Apparently when she said feed every 2 hours she meant wait 2 hours from the end of each feed. I was timing 2 hours from the start
When I was in hospital i asked whether times were from the start or the end and I was told the start. Dh was there and he remembers this so I know I didn't imagine it.
So now I'm wondering if i should keep trying a bit longer, maybe just give him one bottle a day if i'm struggling.
I feel like an idiot
In them early days Cooper could feed for about 2 hrs so he'd never been off the boob! lol. I'd stick with it if i were you it really does get easier and now with the new 2 hr time gap you'll have a bit of time for you. Just wondering.. what would you do if he making hungry noises/crys before the 2 hr gap?
i can honestly say Levi is feeding pretty much every hour at the moment unless we go out and he sleeps for a couple of hours, he goes between 4-5 hours at night, i feel he is a boob wart at the moment but am just going with it hoping it will pass soon, it is very hard work but i refuse to give in to a bottle this time and dont want to mix breast with bottle.
Do what you feel is right for the 2 of you and dont make anyone feel wrong for your choice, good luck and remember there is help out there for you but i would listen to those who have been through it and not just the ones who are trained but dont have children themselves.
Do what you feel is right for the 2 of you and dont make anyone feel wrong for your choice, good luck and remember there is help out there for you but i would listen to those who have been through it and not just the ones who are trained but dont have children themselves.
