Made a fool of myself today in my nct class :-(

[handbagqueen]

Well, had another nct class today and managed to make a complete tit of myself
we talked about PND today and the woman started talking about a severe form of psychosis that can happen -it is rare but it freaked me out so i had to leave the room and I burst into tears. The thing is my mum has suffered with manic depression for alot of her life and just recently said to me 'you'll see, when you've had the baby you'll get depressed and no-one will help you'. it was such a nasty spiteful thing to say and it embarasses me that my own mother would say this but it has stuck in my head and sprang to mind today. i'm so worried that I am going to end up with pnd and it terrifies me to be so out of control.
I also seemed to have verbal diarroea throughout and couldn't stop giving my two pennies worth on different subjects- I was like the swot that everyone gets annoyed with It was mostly stuff I'd learnt from here and i think was useful but still I hate to be the annoying one!
I'm gutted as I wanted to join these classes to meet people and now they probably think i'm either annoying or an emotional wreck.

 

[dannii87]

Oh Isia!! I really feel for you because that's exactly what I was like at mine!! I was answering all the questions and I was really suprised that hardly anyone knew half the stuff! Some didn't even know what a plug was and the lady said to me "is this your first?" and I was soooo embarassed saying yes. I think they thought I was really annoying too because I seemed to "know" this stuff and hadn't even been pregnant before!

PND is an illness, as far as I know it's not hereditary and can strike ANYONE. You're at no more risk of getting it than I am (and as far as I know, none of the women in my family got it ) so please don't worry about that That wasn't a very nice thing to say but you'll be fine I'm sure.

I really do feel for you though xxx

 

[EllieG]

I think what you are talking about is puperal psychosis, it is frightening but just because there is a history of depression in your family, it DOES not mean it is going to happen to you. It is really rare, try not to get worried And I'm sure nobody thought you looked foolish, pregnancy is a time of raging hormones, of course you will become easily upset by nasty stories.
Try to relax and take care of yourself, talk it over with your midwofe for reassurece

 

[lisanat]

oh hun!!
please dont worry, Im sure they didnt think that in your nct class and I bet you think you were worse than you were.

PND- I wasso worried about getting this too when I had Rhys but it isnt hereditery and just because your mum has depression doesnt mean you'll get it. That is a strange thing for your mum to say but that might just be how she thinks due to being depressed. Please try not to worry!! The psychosis is sooo rare and if you do get PND there is so much help now.

Big hugs!!

xxxx

 

[Hazel]

Before I went to my class I had a little word with myself about keeping my mouth shut as I also tend to not shut up and DH says I can be embarassing and loud .

I'm sure you'll be fine and if you're not you know what symptoms to look out for so can can go to the doc for help.

 

[Steelgoddess]

Everyone is different, just because our parents are/or were a certain way it doesn't mean that we will be that way hon. have you spoken with your mum about the comment she made to you? if not it might be an idea to let her know how you're feeling...

now they probably think i'm either annoying or an emotional wreck.

Hon this is an opinion YOU have embedded in your head, for all you know someone else might be thinking how nice you are and how much you know, and if they get stuck they might be asking for your help And even if they did think that so what their not worth your time and energy.

 

[nickilubs]

Oooooo handing out the huggles tonight

Firstly Im sure everyone was relived that you were asking things I expect as soon as they seen you wernt afraid to ask that others started to ask things too.

Second thing is that was really mean what your mum said to you! You will be fine, depression runs in my familly too and I have had it in the past but at least of you have had it then you will know when it is time to ask for help alot of people have PND and dont even realize where as you will be aware of your feelings and if you feel bad then theres no doubt you will tell someone and someone will help you xxxx

 

[Sydneysmum]

Relax, no one of any worth will find you annoying or an emotional wreck. It would be pretty dull at your classes if no one spoke up!

And even if you do suffer pnd, people WILL be there to help you, I promise. Find out what you can about it beforehand from a source other than your mum so you can ask for help if you need it. I had depression after my son was born, it's common and there's no shame in getting help. And the ladies on here are fab, so make sure you keep in touch!

Here's a hug and a smile for you

 

[Bubalu]

I'm quite shy at group meetings like that so I find it really helpful if there is someone like you around that is confident and chatty there as it saves that embarrassment of everyone looking at their shoes every time a question is asked. With our first two classes, it would have helped to have someone there like you as the MW was not particularly good at answering questions!

As for your mums depression...ditto what the other girls have said. My mum got really ill while pregnant with an arthritic condition that never went away. She was in agony throughout pregnancy and ill with it ever since I can remember. That was a huge put off for me getting pregnant (so I left it very late). As it happens, I have sailed through this pregnancy and during the 2nd tri felt really good...so you really can't tell how you will be from what your mums experience was.

 

[aramintalovegrove]

Dont worry too much Hun (easier said than done I know!)
1) theres no such thing as knowing too much and all that research into your pregnancy and birth is to be applauded not scorned. When I had my first I had just done a massive placement and several theory papers on anti and post natel (I was doing nurse training) so I was usuing all the medical blurb etc so must have been twice as annoying as you, no one got fed up though...and sod em if they were!!

2) PND is very hit and miss and Puperal psychosis is extreamly rare. I had terrible PND to the point they were thinking of sectioning me (luckily had enough support not to) and they considered Electric shock treatment . I must admit these were dark days for me but I did have some terrible personal stuff that was going on at the same time.

Im cacking my pants at getting it again but its just one of those things you just dont know till it happens. One thing for sure since my last LO (who is 8 now) things have changed greatly and there is huge support out there if you need it.

Have a chat with your MW and HV when you get one and find out now what treatments you have available to you, this should help

Also I think that being realistic about what you are going to feel like emotionally is a really good mind set to be in, i think I got so severe because i wanted to be super mum and get on with life even better than i had before DS which was just not an achievable goal.

I know its hard but ignore your mum, sometimes (and Im sure Ive done it without meaning to) when you have been to the darkest place you can be you want to warn others but it just doesnt come out right. I wish someone had warned me how terrible it CAN be before I had my son and it was soooo frustrating when women came up to me once i had been open about what I was going through and told me how bad they were...that made me mad because most seemed to think it was something that should not be shared and I needed to have people i could talk to.

 

[handbagqueen]

Thanks for the replies ladies. i'm feeling much better today but have to go and see the group for our last lesson tonight- its on breastfeeding and i'm pretty sure I don;t know much about this so should be able to keep my mouth shut a bit! (although saying that i'll probably be asking lots of questions!) Oh well- sod it.
I repress alot of what my mum says to me as she can be quite spiteful towards me and never seems to think before she says something. it always surprises me when it comes to the surface though so i think i ought to learn how to deal with her a bit better.
i know its better to be forewarned so i'm going to do a tiny bit more research into symptioms so i can prepare my dh a bit more. I am so glad that there is more support out there these days including from you guys so thank you all

 

[Steelgoddess]

Thanks for the replies ladies. i'm feeling much better today but have to go and see the group for our last lesson tonight- its on breastfeeding and i'm pretty sure I don;t know much about this so should be able to keep my mouth shut a bit! (although saying that i'll probably be asking lots of questions!) Oh well- sod it.
I repress alot of what my mum says to me as she can be quite spiteful towards me and never seems to think before she says something. it always surprises me when it comes to the surface though so i think i ought to learn how to deal with her a bit better.
i know its better to be forewarned so i'm going to do a tiny bit more research into symptioms so i can prepare my dh a bit more. I am so glad that there is more support out there these days including from you guys so thank you all

Well just remember that you don't have to tak what she says on, although i know sometimes it can be hurtful... I don't think parents always think before they speak tbh...

 

[debecca]

Before I went to my class I had a little word with myself about keeping my mouth shut as I also tend to not shut up and DH says I can be embarassing and loud .

Ha ha me too! I was like this at my antenatal classes. Pregnancy Forum meant I knew far more than the others... oops.

DH always says to me "I'm sure they didn't QUITE hear you in Outer Mongolia!" or some such. He's so rude about it, I don't even know I am Loud McLoud of LoudTown. I guess I must be though as Connie talks REALLY LOUDLY already...

 

[taika]

Please don't stop yourself speaking up tonight at class! I'm another shy one that loves it when there's someone there who knows what they're talking about so I don't have to sit in that awkward silence thinking "please don't pick on me!". And individual MWs don't always know everything so I'm sure the rest of your class appreciate having someone else there who knows enough to give them some more input. In fact I bet the people in your class think you're the cool kid rather than the swot, I'm sure they'll want to make friends

As for your mum, mine can be just as bad, though I keep trying to tell myself she can't mean it that way. I think all you can do is develop a thick skin or stay away (which is what I pretty much do now), though it sometimes worries me that because of it I won't be good enough for my daughter somehow. I've also been worried about PND because of my mum and my own family history, but like people have said there's a lot of support out there now.

And most of all there's a lot of support on here! If things get bad for me after the birth I'll be straight on here to get advice from you lot, and I hope you'll do the same