M/C at 7weeks

[absntomsmum]

After a very stressful week I have now lost my little bean. I was unexpectedly pregnant and found out last week. I have 2 children, 3 and 1 and although I really want another, this baby wasn't planned. So after getting used to the idea last week I have now began bleeding heavy and taken two tests yesterday that confirm I am no longer pregnant. I am not sure if I should be doing something about it like contacting the GP? My bleeding is heavy and i don't have any discomfort. I am rhesus negative so perhaps this could be a problem. I felt shocked when i found out I was pregnant but not sad, just wondered how I would cope as I doing a qualification at college. Now I am sad, I had already started to plan things for next year, decorating... baby clothes, scans, outfits for special parties and pushchairs etc and now its vanished and I am trying to adjust AGAIN to my plan A. I feel like I wished this to happen and its my fault although nothing would be more important than a baby would. Just hope these feelings get easier to cope with. I had to stop taking my anti depressants when I found out I was pregnant and now I am not and all the emotions I have hit rock bottom. My OH is tearing his hair out with me but trying to understand. I am on holiday tomorrow so hoping this will be a comfort. Never thought I would go through this and have deep empathy for all those who have lost babies and I am grateful I have two beautiful children already. Sorry to go on .....

I was 'abbiesmummy' but couldn't log on.....

 

[babyblonde]

So sorry for your loss honey

You should tell your doctor what has happened so that it is documented that you have miscarried so you can get help and support if needed in the future.

 

[Morganuk]

Oh hun

First of Hello & welcome, you have certainly come to the right place as lots of women have gone though this on her

Im so sorry to hear about your loss and I can imagine how down you are feeling right now
I really do think you need to go to your GP about the misscarriage and you blood issue for support and advice.
I know its hard to imagine right now but the future will get better and the fact you already have two littles ones proves you can concieve again

My thorts are with you sweetie

 

[Morganuk]

So sorry for your loss honey

You should tell your doctor what has happened so that it is documented that you have miscarried so you can get help and support if needed in the future.

How have you been hun

 

[absntomsmum]

thank you for your replies. I am ok. feel guilty, sad and empty. Back on the anti-d so hope they kick in.

Just wonder if I have done something wrong? My OH is dealing with this logically and yet I feel like I have hormones flying around.

I hadn't told anyone yet I was pregnant and now I am not sure how to explain I was and yet I am not???? But how will I keep a smiley face.

I am away tomorrow and have an appointment booked for next Monday about the pregnancy think I will wait til then? I bled in my first pregnancy but all was ok but the whole going to GP/A&E waiting etc was very stressful and I they make you feel like your wasting their time and I feel ok.... I just want to go on holiday and ignore it all. Is that bad?

 

[Morganuk]

thank you for your replies. I am ok. feel guilty, sad and empty. Back on the anti-d so hope they kick in.

Just wonder if I have done something wrong? My OH is dealing with this logically and yet I feel like I have hormones flying around.

I hadn't told anyone yet I was pregnant and now I am not sure how to explain I was and yet I am not???? But how will I keep a smiley face.

I am away tomorrow and have an appointment booked for next Monday about the pregnancy think I will wait til then? I bled in my first pregnancy but all was ok but the whole going to GP/A&E waiting etc was very stressful and I they make you feel like your wasting their time and I feel ok.... I just want to go on holiday and ignore it all. Is that bad?

Sweetie you are in NO way to blame for your loss, we can not controul nature.
I no its sometimes natuarl to blame yourself as you are already hurting but please dont
Hun you do not need to tell anyone at this moment in time, but maybe it would help you to do so for the support
Hun a holiday sounds like a great idea, you can relax and take your mind off of things but you need to get checked out.
Forget what they think, this is your body and you need to know what has happened? and maybe why?
Hun your emotions will be flying around as its so fresh but once your body sttles down you should hopefully start to feel better.

Lots of hugs

 

[trixipaws]

hey babes, i can TOTALLY relate

i wasnt as far along as you but our stories are so similar! i only found out i was pregnant a week ago, i was devastated if im honest and have had a terrible week struggling to come to terms with it, then accepting it and the acceptance QUICKLY turned into excitement, but i made the mistake of not letting on to my boyf how much i'd decided i wanted the baby and he freaked out on thursday nite and we had a bad argument he practically begged me to have a termination. then the next day he did a U-turn and became 100% supportive and we were coming round to the fact that we were having another baby. i'v been spotting/bleeding very lightly all week, and at a docs app (for something else) i was sent straight to EPU for hcg blood tests. well, i was told yesterday that my levels had dropped

i am crushed. the DAY after everything had all fallen into place and i'd got my boyf's support and my parents' support and was really looking forward to millie being a big sister and happy- have had to re-adjust back again to things just going back to how they were. and its hard!

i too feel blessed that we do have our BEAUTIFUL PERFECT little daughter, and she brings sooooooooooo mcuh comfort thru this time! she keeps coming to me for kisses, and really big kisses too- she is soooooooo cute! usually i cant get a kiss off her unless i steal one and even then its fleeting as she turns her head away and pushes her hand on my face! she really makes me feel better. and i think i can be stronger because of her because i dont want to neglect her while i "mope around". so i'm pulling myself together for her sake, which is good for me too

i too quit anti-d's cold turkey when i got my BFP. so not only am i contending with plummeting pregnancy hormones, also the prozac withdrawal, so my emotions are colourful, to say the least! i am up and down and all over the place!

i'd told everyone i was pregnant, and some folk said that was a bad idea as iv announced it and now i have to "unannounce" it so to speak, but i disagree i think its good for people to know that i was pregnant and iv lost the baby because then they can make allowances for me in case i am a miserable little arse! (and i have been today too!)

PM me if u need to chat, it seems to me our loss situations had a lot in common. i am here to help if i can

 

[Morganuk]

hey babes, i can TOTALLY relate

i wasnt as far along as you but our stories are so similar! i only found out i was pregnant a week ago, i was devastated if im honest and have had a terrible week struggling to come to terms with it, then accepting it and the acceptance QUICKLY turned into excitement, but i made the mistake of not letting on to my boyf how much i'd decided i wanted the baby and he freaked out on thursday nite and we had a bad argument he practically begged me to have a termination. then the next day he did a U-turn and became 100% supportive and we were coming round to the fact that we were having another baby. i'v been spotting/bleeding very lightly all week, and at a docs app (for something else) i was sent straight to EPU for hcg blood tests. well, i was told yesterday that my levels had dropped

i am crushed. the DAY after everything had all fallen into place and i'd got my boyf's support and my parents' support and was really looking forward to millie being a big sister and happy- have had to re-adjust back again to things just going back to how they were. and its hard!

i too feel blessed that we do have our BEAUTIFUL PERFECT little daughter, and she brings sooooooooooo mcuh comfort thru this time! she keeps coming to me for kisses, and really big kisses too- she is soooooooo cute! usually i cant get a kiss off her unless i steal one and even then its fleeting as she turns her head away and pushes her hand on my face! she really makes me feel better. and i think i can be stronger because of her because i dont want to neglect her while i "mope around". so i'm pulling myself together for her sake, which is good for me too

i too quit anti-d's cold turkey when i got my BFP. so not only am i contending with plummeting pregnancy hormones, also the prozac withdrawal, so my emotions are colourful, to say the least! i am up and down and all over the place!

i'd told everyone i was pregnant, and some folk said that was a bad idea as iv announced it and now i have to "unannounce" it so to speak, but i disagree i think its good for people to know that i was pregnant and iv lost the baby because then they can make allowances for me in case i am a miserable little arse! (and i have been today too!)

PM me if u need to chat, it seems to me our loss situations had a lot in common. i am here to help if i can

Hello trixie hunny,

Just want to give you lots of
Hope your ok.

 

[absntomsmum]

Just spoken to a friend who was kind and supportive.. she thinks I should speak to GP just to make sure.

Also spoke to MIL (she has had 2 m/c) and I got the impression that she thinks I wasn't pregnant. She is lovely but I am pretty gutted now. I had 3 positive tests!!! Why do people question it when you go through this? It when she said "if you were pregnant then best to see a GP but it will proberbly be a normal period because a m/c is really painful not just period cramps...and I was further 11 weeks so had a d'n'c which you are only a few weeks so that wouldn't be needed". Feel like a fake now.

AHHHHHGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... all I feel like saying.

 

[babyblonde]

Don't feel that way.

I had exactly the same experience at the hospital when I miscarried a couple of weeks ago.

I did 7 home tests and they all came out positive - 2 of them were the clearblue digital ones that actually say the word PREGNANT.

When I went to the hospital the horrible doctor accused me of not knowing how to read a test properly and told me I had obviously never been pregnant as my urine test came out negative (despite the fact there was still very small amounts of HCG in my bloodstream, had loads of symptoms and was passing great big clots).

YOU know that you were pregnant and nobody can take that away from you honey

 

[babyblonde]

Also, just to say, if there's one thing I've learned on here it's that everyone's experience is different.

Just because she had a lot of pain when she miscarried doesn't mean that you will - she can't judge you based on her own experiences.

 

[buddabun]

oh my god people annoy me!!! HOW can they think that is something appropriate to sayy?!?!?!

I have had 2 now, the first one didn't hurt me at all, this last one was like period cramps but really awful. Both were very early.

Everyone is different.

As for the docs. I'd tell the doctors at some point (at your appointment like you say) just so it goes on your record but I haven't been to see anyone about this last one yet and I'm fine. As long as you are not in crippling pain and as long as you make sure you're looking after yourself then there really is no need if you've had a complete miscarriage.

When I got pregnant the second time I was terrified and spent the first 5 days nipping to the loo every half hour to see if I'd started bleeding again. Just when I was coming around to the idea I started miscarrying again. It's a cruel kick in the balls to dangle something in front of you and snatch it away but sadly it is surprisingly common (I never realised how common until I cam on here and did some research).


I'm so sorry this happened to you and I really hope you brighten up soon (it does get easier). Just know that it is not your fault. Statistically the vast majority of miscarriages (especially in early pregnancy) happen because of some genetic abnormality in the embryo that stop it developing or cause it to die. So it certainly wasn't your fault.

BIG hugs to you, and don't listen to your MIL!

 

[absntomsmum]

thanks again everyone

so pleased I came on here and said my story I am feeling bit better (although will be in floods of tears in a minute!!)

just told OH about his mum and he was surprised and took my side so that says something!!!


babyblonde, really sorry about your loss, I actually read through your posts over the weekend whilst i was having spotting. thought it was awful what you went through at the hospital so patronizing and insensitive!!!!

appreciate all your comments and support and

will go to see the GP and have it documented. Looking foward to our break away.
thanks everyone!

 

[dina.marie]

im sorry

 

[absntomsmum]

Hi, just thought I would update on what happenned at the GP last week. Gp was kind and said that a m/c as more than likely but he asked me to do a sample and send it away just to make sure. Rang up everyday - as you do - and on Friday finally got told that the sample had leaked and was not able to be tested. So,........ on Friday I popped to the docs and put another sample in and don't know anymore. Since then i have taken another clear blue digital test which says 'not pregnant' so think thats the definate answer that I already know. Only thing now is that I feel quite achy and periody like muscle cramps... not sure whats going on, but time will tell I guess.

thanks for everyone's support.

 

[babyblonde]

What a nightmare about your sample hun.

Sending you big ol' hugs

 

[sarah113]

 

[absntomsmum]

what a carry on.... put in another sample and was told on Tuesday the results were 'normal' so I thought... not pregnant... and then recieved a letter today from GP saying I need to send in another sample. Rang the GP and apparently it wasn't tested for pregnancy but for infection so I need to do another sample. So another week of waiting. But, have no doubts that I am not pregnant. Feeling ok, trying to get life back on track. Thought i would just go back to my plans and carry on but I will always know that this has happened. TBH I really believed it was my fault. I am training to be a fitness instructor and kept up my usual routine, spinning, running and aerobics ect and thought perhaps it was my fault but... at college I have just learnt that exercise during pregnancy at the same level as previous to pregnancy is fine, so this perhaps was just meant to be... unfortunatly so I feel a little less guilty. Think I will try again for another in a year or two. My LO is unwell at the moment and its hard so I am coping with one baby and a toddler at the mo!