Lowering abortion limits

[LilysMummy]

Fran no one will think any less of you

I think everyone is emotionally charged and there are things flying round that are getting peoples backs up

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

Sorry if i've upset you fran, it wasn't my intention to say anything hurtful towards you personally and to be honest, I dont know your situation or anyone elses situation on here. I was just trying to get my views across as untactful as that may be!

 

[Squiglet]

yes what you say about hayden is true i was not planning children at that time but i would not change him for the world. i was happy to find i was pregnant. sadly the same cannot be said of my second pregnancy which was also a case of failed contraception- i never ever wanted to rite this on here because i know what people will think of me but to hell with it this is how i felt and i cannot change it.
when i found out i was pregnant the 2nd time Hayden was only just turned 4 months old i was completely in love with him and i dont know if it was the pregnancy hormones still flowing about or what i just didn't feel anything for what was growing inside of me i could only think that i needed to give myself to my son already born- i knew i couldn't cope with another baby. mentally, financially or anyway at all.. there was no doubt about it i felt sick, tired and really ill. it was making me mentally unwell and i just wanted it to be over..i know how nasty that makes me sound and believe me looking back on that dark time i was not "me" and i could never feel the same now. i am very maternal and i have no idea what made me feel that way but i did..although i had always felt that i could never ever have an abortion no matter what i was suddenly faced with something i could not deal with.
i know how hard that will be for you guys to understand as i can't understand it myself now. but thats what happened so i now know you can never say never- anyway this is totally off the subject i'm sorry..although i don't regret my desicion there isn't a day that i don't feel sad about it. lately i feel so down about it esp all the discussion on the news etc..i dont know what else to say really just that i feel there should be choice and people shouldn't be made to feel bad for there choices as it is there lives and they are the ones that have to live with themselves for the rest of it.

This is what I mean... having an abortion looks like the easy option... but its far from it... and by trivialising sex what we do is create a nation of women permanently scarred from having abortions and thats not fair... There needs to be changes to make people realise that abortion should be the last resort and that its difficult, painful and hard...

If you lower the limit you may just deter some people from having sex encase they get pregnant and they know that its a difficult service to access... so they never have to take the route of abortion...

Again... Fran, I didn't mean to pick on you personally (typing one handed with a fussing baby on the boob makes for poor statements )... or make you feel bad... as I said... I am pro choice... I certainly don't judge you because if I fell pregnant now, with my current financial situation, abortion would have to be seriously considered... and believe a woman has a right to choose... but they should also be aware that abortions are the hard way out...

 

[abcd1234]

Unfortunately some people do have abortions without consideration, almost as a contraception method, and i even heard one women refer to it as Sorting out a problem, then she giggled and went it's all good!

This is quite obviously not how most people see them but unforutnatelt those few people give the ones who reallt think about it a bad name.

if i was to get pregnant stright after Tally is born i would definately consider abortion, i cant tell you what i would do eventually, i'd be totally messed up regardless, and it would depend a lot on the situation.

 

[fran_23]

exactly...to say that refraining from sex is the only true way of preventing a baby, surely the same rules apply to any other health related incident!

SHP abortion IS THE LAST RESORT people dont do it willingly!! and no-one with a living beating heart would do it without investigating every possiblity first!

I think youre simplfying/dismissing the reasons why people make that choice! Just think yourself lucky that you've never been in that position.

There is no black and white when it comes to the debate, no right or wrong, which is what makes the whole thing very hard to look at from a all en-compassing legal perspective. Only the choice of the person involved should be considered.

i couldn't agree more- i'm sure nobody maybe with the exception of the 7 abortion lady- has taken it lightly it is a last resort the majority of the time and something that will never leave them. And it will never leave them its not a case oh well thats it a life gone- i feel better.

 

[fran_23]

Sorry if i've upset you fran, it wasn't my intention to say anything hurtful towards you personally and to be honest, I dont know your situation or anyone elses situation on here. I was just trying to get my views across as untactful as that may be!

no worries hun as i said we all have our own views they are bound to be different- the world would be boring if everyone thought the same things!!

 

[Krystal]

Unfortunately some people do have abortions without consideration, almost as a contraception method, and i even heard one women refer to it as Sorting out a problem, then she giggled and went it's all good!

This is quite obviously not how most people see them but unforutnatelt those few people give the ones who reallt think about it a bad name.

if i was to get pregnant stright after Tally is born i would definately consider abortion, i cant tell you what i would do eventually, i'd be totally messed up regardless, and it would depend a lot on the situation.

I agree, I know a girl who is currently pregnant with her 6th child. She has also had at least 3 abortions that I know of. Bear in mind I am not a close friend so it's not the type of thing she feels needs to be kept private. She uses it as a form of contraception. I know her and her OH don't use anything cos they 'dont like it' Luckily those type of girls are few and far between but I certainly think in those instances more needs to be done.

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

I fell pregnent ON THE PILL when I was 19. I was in an extremely abusive and violent relationship that I could not get out of. I'm not going to discuss exactly what happened to me, but when I discovered I was pregnant I felt abortion was the only option. I considered adoption. I had an abortion at 10 weeks and it was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make and it will haunt me to the day I die. I think about my baby every single day and believe me, girls in my situation do not take the decision lightly.

Now I have had Ava, I know what a baby does inside you at 20 weeks + (I had my gender scan at 20 weeks for example and could feel movements) so yes, I do agree the limit should be brought down.

I am not going to get into an argument about abortion, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I completely respect that- but ShinyHappyPeople, please be a bit more careful when throwing words around like 'destroying' and 'killing' babies. It is extremely upsetting.

Sorry gem

 

[Jade&Evie]

Women do have hysterectomies to stop having kids, my friends mum did.

Of course they do, thats what they are for.

Tell that to a family friend of mine who desperately wants children but had to have a hysterectomy for other reasons.

I think the point of this thread got lost somewhere....

to bring it back... IMO the abortion limit for SOCIAL reasons should be lowered but for MEDICAL reasons I can't see how they could lower it.

It must be a horrible decision but I think I would have aborted if I was told my baby would be severly disabled.

I'm 19, I fell pregnant when I wasn't ready and YES, I did consider terminating the pregnancy; but looking back now I can't imagine having done it. I esp couldn't have terminated after feeling the first kick.

Other people are different though- they don't consider the baby to be alive until it's born- so they could justify a late abortion.

I feel so sorry for anyone that has to go through it.

 

[ShineyHappyPeople]

Tell that to a family friend of mine who desperately wants children but had to have a hysterectomy for other reasons.

(Yes some people need to get it done for medical reasons)

 

[fran_23]

Women do have hysterectomies to stop having kids, my friends mum did.

Of course they do, thats what they are for.

Tell that to a family friend of mine who desperately wants children but had to have a hysterectomy for other reasons.

I think the point of this thread got lost somewhere....

to bring it back... IMO the abortion limit for SOCIAL reasons should be lowered but for MEDICAL reasons I can't see how they could lower it.

It must be a horrible decision but I think I would have aborted if I was told my baby would be severly disabled.

I'm 19, I fell pregnant when I wasn't ready and YES, I did consider terminating the pregnancy; but looking back now I can't imagine having done it. I esp couldn't have terminated after feeling the first kick.

Other people are different though- they don't consider the baby to be alive until it's born- so they could justify a late abortion.

I feel so sorry for anyone that has to go through it.

yes i agree i think they should sort out the system so that it could be lowered for social reasons-and kept the same for medical reasons perhaps something they don't like to admit is that in some parts of the country terminations are done in hospitals not clinics and girls are put on waiting lists where they sometimes have to wait until 20 weeks or so into the pregnancy which must be heartbreaking re feeling the bab move etc- i said earlier in the thread i have a close friend who was put through this.

 

[zebrastripes]

But really, how do you differentiate between a medical and a social reason? I do think abortions nowadays are often seen as something to end an "inconvenience"...or what is percieved as an "inconvenience"..but how do you tell the difference? I mean, to me, any woman forced through a pregnancy detrimental to her health either physical or mental should get an abortion for medical reasons but what if we were faced with a situation where a woman was denied an abortion at say 14 weeks because there was nothing wrong with her or the fetus, even if she was in an abusive r/ship etc?

What i'm trying to get at, is that it's a very shady area. How would it be decided if a woman was going to be mentally affected enough to give grounds for a medical abortion etc?

 

[Jen & Her Men]

I personally believe we need to be very hesitant about letting a bunch of politicians make decisions that effect the human rights of women.

I think its sometimes all to easy to take the moral highground in this sort of debate and make sweeping generalisations about how abortions are done by too many people who see getting pregnant as an "inconvenience" etc.

I wonder where these "facts" come from?

If we take PF as an example, its quite obvious from the posts of those ladies who have been brave enough to admit to having terminations that it was anything but an "inconvenience" or a decision they have taken lightly.
It was their choice yes, but that doesnt mean to say it was a decision they took lightly. And surely, as it is their body, it should also be their decision as to whether they go ahead with a termination or not. We all may have opinions on whether that is the right or wrong choice, but to say that "many" women take that decision lightly is completely wrong in my opinion.

What is also wrong is to have that decision taken away from women and see a return to the times of back street abortions etc. We have fought long enough for our rights without seeing a step backwards like this.

I also strongly believe that women should be given the benefit of the doubt - a lot of the reasons women have terminations is to prevent bringing a child into the world that will have a horrendous life of abuse, poverty, etc etc. Why are we always so bloomin quick to judge and think negatively of people, rather than think to ourselves that to make a decision to have an abortion is a awful, terrible thing to have to go through, and if the decision is that they decide to terminate, then I feel pity for those women rather than scorn them and automatically assume that they have taken the easy option.

A lot of women ARE putting their unborn child above themselves when they make the heartbreaking decision to abort their pregnancy and I think the girls on here that are quick to judge need to remember that.

 

[Krystal]

But most of comments on here haven't judged anyone for choosing abortion and have pointed out the fact it must be hard. We are discussing reducing abortion cut off point rather then getting rid of it all together. And you can't cover up the fact there are women out there who do use it as a convenience but i don't think anyone on here is stupid enough to suggest thats anything but the minority.

 

[Jen & Her Men]

We are discussing reducing abortion cut off point rather then getting rid of it all together.

Yeah I know! My comments were in line with that - I dont think that politicians should decide a reduction in the cut off point as that is a step backward in our human rights and the there are many women that would be left vunerable if cut off points were reduced.

I wasnt suggesting the majority of comments were judgemental but some certainly have been. I have been folloing this topic since it started, i just hadnt posted because i was trying to keep away from it as it is so emotive, but after some of the recent posts i felt compelled to.

And i completely agree Sweetcheeks that some do exploit the current laws and take abortion too lightly, but there has been some suggestion that the law should change because of this minority and i dont agree with that.

 

[Krystal]

I know, it's a hard one cos so many different arguments for and against. Even though I think it should be lowered to 12 weeks unless medical I understand each and evey post on here in argument for it to stay. I understand some women in difficult situations but getting over 16 weeks here we are talking about a baby. Not a mass of cells growing etc and actual baby that kicks and I just think if were gonna talk about human rights then who's to say this growing baby doesn't have human rights.

Hope i'm making sense. like I said it's a hard one. It's wierd for me cos until you reach around 12 weeks I guess I just see it as cells and things getting ready to make a baby and thats why I can accept it up to this point as its more like preventing a pregnancy but after then I feel as though it's a baby. Thats why I feel the way I do.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I wasn't sure whether to comment on this thread or not because i honestly don't know 100% what i think or feel.

When i found out i was pregnant abortion didn't even cross my mind. Not for a second.

I don't have the right to judge any person for what they choose to do. I obviously don't condone not using contraception and using abortion as a form of contraception but i think that in the majority of cases people have abortions for reasons that are right for them.

In the end it is up to the individual what they choose and it is they who will be worst affected by making a decision they may later regret.

We live in a place of free choice. Cutting the abortion limit too far would cause a rise in back-street abortions. Afterall if someone really doesn't want to be pregnant then they will do whatever they can not to be.

My heart goes out to anyone faced with a tough decision.

 

[Miss.Monroe]

All im going to say is that my Auntie had an abortion at 19 (im 20)and she has never ever got over it, shes 54 now and still has no children. i know its affected her and shes being supportive of me and wants to be involved in Sophies life. i know it must be hard for her, it was a diffrent time back then and less accepted. This makes me realise if i was ever in that situation i would really have to think about it before i did anything like that. i think the only reasons i would consider a termination would be if i was raped or the baby was seriously deformed and would have no quality of life. apart from that i knew what i was doing when i had sex, and i knew what the result 'could' be.

 

[kazlin]

I haven't read any of the replies as I didn't want to be swayed by conflicting opinions.

I had a termination (I can't even bring myself to say abortion) 12 years ago. My child would now be 12, it's hard at times.

I was very, very ill with my pregnancy and the doctors said that I had to have an emergency termination. At the time I didn't know how to think or feel, I just went along with it. I was nearly 2 months. I saw a little bean with a heartbeat on the scan, that memory will be with me until the day I die

The thought of aborting a baby at 24 weeks makes me very, very sad, when it was hard enough terminating a foetus at nearly 2 months.

I don't think bad of girls who have had a one off abortion willingly for whatever reason, there are all sorts of reasons, but I do think bad of girls who seem to use it as a form of contraception or who are totally irresponsible.

Abortions at 24 weeks? I can't even put into words how this makes me feel

This is just my opinion.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I haven't read any of the replies as I didn't want to be swayed by conflicting opinions.

I had a termination (I can't even bring myself to say abortion) 12 years ago. My child would now be 12, it's hard at times.

I was very, very ill with my pregnancy and the doctors said that I had to have an emergency termination. At the time I didn't know how to think or feel, I just went along with it. I was nearly 2 months. I saw a little bean with a heartbeat on the scan, that memory will be with me until the day I die

The thought of aborting a baby at 24 weeks makes me very, very sad, when it was hard enough terminating a foetus at nearly 2 months.

I don't think bad of girls who have had a one off abortion willingly for whatever reason, there are all sorts of reasons, but I do think bad of girls who seem to use it as a form of contraception or who are totally irresponsible.

Abortions at 24 weeks? I can't even put into words how this makes me feel

This is just my opinion.