Lowering abortion limits

[abcd1234]

Anyone else feel todays vote is pointless? Maybe its my idea of MP's but i see them as career driven pole up the ass, ruthless people (mainly) who are just gonna vote to keep it the same.

I dont wanna start a PF arguement lol just wondered how everyone else felt on this subject.

I guess i technically fit in to pro-choice, i would never have an abortion myself, unless baby was severely disabled (i dont count downs in this though) or it would risk my life to have baby. But i'm not gonna attck those who do have an abortion.

My personal view is that it should be lowered for abortions for social reasons, i'd like to say 12 weeks but maybe 16 is kinder as i cant imagine deciding is the easiest thing, but those who find out their baby is severly unwell or they themselves are should be exempt from this, and obviously a doctor would confirm this.

TBH i always thought this was kinda how it was anyway, apparently i was wrong, i watched a programme where a girl had one at 23 weeks for social reasons, and someone in my school did the same, i always thought there had been something wrong with her baby and felt bed for her but she actually just did it cos she didnt want a baby, she was huge and even her sister said she'd known a very long time about the baby.

 

[amethyst_echidna]

Personally, as someone who said she'd never even entertain the idea of a post-15 week abortion and is now staring that prospect full in the face, I can totally understand how sometimes it's the only thing that can be done. I live in Spain so if I need to have an abortion I will have to go to the UK to get it done. It's going to kill me to do it if I have to, but the alternative doesn't bear thinking about either. Really I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and the abortion - should it be necessary - hurts the fewest amount of people (still hurts a lot of people though, not least the baby).

AMETHYST

 

[Squiglet]

tbh you can't make it any lower than 18 weeks... thats because amnios can't be done till 16 weeks and then you have 2 weeks to get the results and make a decision.

For social reasons I think it should be 12 weeks... it is in Spain and even then its under the juristriction of two doctors and if you are not 18 you need parental consent.... sounds harsh...but it means less people take risks and the teenage pregnancy rate is lower here.

 

[abcd1234]

Personally, as someone who said she'd never even entertain the idea of a post-15 week abortion and is now staring that prospect full in the face, I can totally understand how sometimes it's the only thing that can be done. I live in Spain so if I need to have an abortion I will have to go to the UK to get it done. It's going to kill me to do it if I have to, but the alternative doesn't bear thinking about either. Really I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and the abortion - should it be necessary - hurts the fewest amount of people (still hurts a lot of people though, not least the baby).

AMETHYST

My baby is the product of an affair, she is the other mans, i still love her and still want her, and the guy who was cheated loves her too and is there for us,and would be with me if i'd allow him to be (taking it slowly) so i dont agree with that tbh. However as stated in my above post, im not gonna have a go at anyone who does have an abortion, its just my personal view, and from reading your previous posts i know how much all this is affecting you

 

[Krystal]

I find the idea of abortion hard to deal with as can't imagine being in that situation however I know that in certain situations some people can't carry on with the pregnancy.

I think that if it is the babies health or the mothers health in jeopardy then perhaps the current limit is acceptable.

For someone who has fallen pregnant whilst on the pill or simply does not want a child etc etc I believe there should be a 12 week limit. I was thinking about this earlier actually and thought maybe 16 weeks but I still think at that stage the baby is so developed it is actually a baby.

Oh I dunno it's such a hard one

 

[amethyst_echidna]

My baby is the product of an affair, she is the other mans, i still love her and still want her, and the guy who was cheated loves her too and is there for us,and would be with me if i'd allow him to be (taking it slowly) so i dont agree with that tbh.

I'm sure that you do love her, but the implication there is that I would not / do not love my baby, which isn't true. My husband and I discussed this at great length and realised that if we were to have this baby and it wasn't his, we would either have to lie to the child about his/her father (which we refuse to do) or be totally ousted by my family and his. This would leave us and the baby totally alone, I could not bear to be without my family and neither could my husband. Our baby would never know his/her grandparents - imagine having to explain why that is, they'd feel like it was their fault that our families had cut us off.

For someone who has fallen pregnant whilst on the pill or simply does not want a child etc etc I believe there should be a 12 week limit.

As my above post (hopefully) shows, I don't really fall into that category because I *do* want a baby, but nor do I fall into the other category of health being jeapordised. It's a very, very tough choice to have to make and believe me I'm not happy about this at all. If I could turn back the clock I would, but there's nothing more I can do.

AMETHYST

 

[Penstraze]

I think for social reasons it should be lowered I am pro- choice but think abortions should be done as early as possible if it is for health reasons then thats different but a baby is pretty much fully developed by 24 weeks to me our baby has a personality with her sleeping and awake paterns and likes and dislikes (judged by her kicks - she hates me wearing a seatbelt and kicks the whole car journey) I can't imagine carrying her for all this time and then having an abortion it doesn't bare thinking about!

 

[abcd1234]

My baby is the product of an affair, she is the other mans, i still love her and still want her, and the guy who was cheated loves her too and is there for us,and would be with me if i'd allow him to be (taking it slowly) so i dont agree with that tbh.

I'm sure that you do love her, but the implication there is that I would not / do not love my baby, which isn't true. My husband and I discussed this at great length and realised that if we were to have this baby and it wasn't his, we would either have to lie to the child about his/her father (which we refuse to do) or be totally ousted by my family and his. This would leave us and the baby totally alone, I could not bear to be without my family and neither could my husband. Our baby would never know his/her grandparents - imagine having to explain why that is, they'd feel like it was their fault that our families had cut us off.

AMETHYST

Then i have great sympathy for you that you do not have a more suportive family Tally will know who made her, she will have both sets of biological grandparents and Daves mum and fiance also know the truth and would treat her as their own.

I do undersatnd not everyone is as lucky as me when it comes to family and people around, and like i keep saying, if you do choose to abort the baby i wont think any less of you i just wont agree with it.

 

[Jade&Evie]

My baby is the product of an affair, she is the other mans, i still love her and still want her, and the guy who was cheated loves her too and is there for us,and would be with me if i'd allow him to be (taking it slowly) so i dont agree with that tbh.

I'm sure that you do love her, but the implication there is that I would not / do not love my baby, which isn't true. My husband and I discussed this at great length and realised that if we were to have this baby and it wasn't his, we would either have to lie to the child about his/her father (which we refuse to do) or be totally ousted by my family and his. This would leave us and the baby totally alone, I could not bear to be without my family and neither could my husband. Our baby would never know his/her grandparents - imagine having to explain why that is, they'd feel like it was their fault that our families had cut us off.

For someone who has fallen pregnant whilst on the pill or simply does not want a child etc etc I believe there should be a 12 week limit.

As my above post (hopefully) shows, I don't really fall into that category because I *do* want a baby, but nor do I fall into the other category of health being jeapordised. It's a very, very tough choice to have to make and believe me I'm not happy about this at all. If I could turn back the clock I would, but there's nothing more I can do.

AMETHYST

Sorry, but surely your baby is more important than anyone else? If my family were like that I'd tell them to shove it and get on with my own life!

 

[Krystal]

For someone who has fallen pregnant whilst on the pill or simply does not want a child etc etc I believe there should be a 12 week limit.

As my above post (hopefully) shows, I don't really fall into that category because I *do* want a baby, but nor do I fall into the other category of health being jeapordised. It's a very, very tough choice to have to make and believe me I'm not happy about this at all. If I could turn back the clock I would, but there's nothing more I can do.

AMETHYST

Please don't take my views as a judgement on your situation. This isn't a post about your prediciment it's my views on the abortion limit.

 

[amethyst_echidna]

Please don't take my views as a judgement on your situation. This isn't a post about your prediciment it's my views on the abortion limit.

Sorry, I didn't take it that way. I was merely saying that there may be others in a similar situation that don't fit into those two categories.

AMETHYST

 

[amethyst_echidna]

Sorry, but surely your baby is more important than anyone else? If my family were like that I'd tell them to shove it and get on with my own life!

Sorry, but if you read my post it said that I was concerned about how that kind of isolation would affect my baby, ergo my baby *is* my primary concern.

AMETHYST

 

[sarah113]

i agree with all you lot, for social reasons 12 weeks and for severe diability ect 18 weeks.
i've seen what a baby looks like at nearly 20 weeks (my own), everything formed ect and can't see how people can do it very late on.
i am pro choice, but deffo think it should be lowered

 

[Krystal]

Please don't take my views as a judgement on your situation. This isn't a post about your prediciment it's my views on the abortion limit.

Sorry, I didn't take it that way. I was merely saying that there may be others in a similar situation that don't fit into those two categories.

AMETHYST

No need to apologise, was just clearing it up thats all. FYI in terms of the point you make re other situations: There are many situations that could be covered but TBH I personally don't agree that other than health reasons there is a good enough reason to have an abortion past 12 weeks. Of course this is just my point of view and others may disagree.

 

[smile]

they are discussing reducing the limit for social reasons - the medical limit (ie no limit) remains unchanged

 

[nickilubs]

I have to say too that when I heard the new rules I didn't see the point. There is always other options to me. If you wait till your over 12 weeks gone then decide its not for you because you just dont want to be a parent then you should consider adoption not abortion. I understand for health reasons but I'm 23 weeks and to think I feel every little kick of my girl inside me that there are people the same time as me are going and having abortions now is heartbreaking. I have always thought like this though I never intended to have a baby at this time in my life but as soon as I knew it then I also knew that there was no choice for me I couldn't dismiss a life for my irresponsibility. I'm another 12 weeks for social 18 for disability (severe). I do feel for people who have been on the pill and used contraception but really and I don't want to sound a biatch but the only way to ever insure you wont get pregnant is to not have sex at all.

 

[Krystal]

18 for disability (severe)

I disagree with this one point. All you have to do is look at the SANDS forum. There are people there devasted by the fact they are waiting for an impending loss and don't take the decision to abort so late as a light decision. There are also the cases where the mothers health is at risk too. These people are ones that have looked forward to this child so much then found out that their child is going to have such a poor quality of life that they may find it easier to 'abort' so all people involved.

I just feel you can't compare the decision to abort with a medical reason iykwim.

 

[abcd1234]

18 for disability (severe)

I disagree with this one point. All you have to do is look at the SANDS forum. There are people there devasted by the fact they are waiting for an impending loss and don't take the decision to abort so late as a light decision. There are also the cases where the mothers health is at risk too. These people are ones that have looked forward to this child so much then found out that their child is going to have such a poor quality of life that they may find it easier to 'abort' so all people involved.

I just feel you can't compare the decision to abort with a medical reason iykwim.

I do think medical is different and obviously some people dont find out until later on.

I know a women who recently had a baby, she was told after her downs test and scans they thought something was wrong with baby, she choose not to have an amnio and to continue her pregnanct regardless, she went in to labour at 35 weeks and he was still born. He looked completely perfect but only had 2 vessels in his cord and would have had severe disabilities if he'd managed to live.

I dont think any women should have to go through what she did with her baby, she took a chance continuing and i doubt she regrets it, but i think it is easier to lose a severly disabled child at 24 weeks and make that decision, then to live every day wondering and lose them at a much later date, i also think its more stress on her body.

 

[Krystal]

for your friend. Thats really sad

 

[Jade&Evie]

[quote="Jade&Evie":2orbho68] Sorry, but surely your baby is more important than anyone else? If my family were like that I'd tell them to shove it and get on with my own life!

Sorry, but if you read my post it said that I was concerned about how that kind of isolation would affect my baby, ergo my baby *is* my primary concern.

AMETHYST[/quote:2orbho68]

i would rather my child not know her grandparents if they were like that!

I'm not sure how you can justify killing your baby for the sake of what other people think.

Surely if you and your husband are happy with the pregnancy then what they think wouldn't matter. I love my mum to death but if she told me to get rid of a baby or never see her again I kow which one I'd choose because it would show that her love for me isn't unconditional whereas the love I fel for my DD is!