Losing the will - sleep

[kumber]

I am tearing my hair out with Riley. He has always been a sleep fignter but it's getting beyond a joke. I have been trying to get him down for a nap for 2 hours now, he is absolutely exhausted but if refusing point blank to sleep. He wants to play but is so tired he will sit and cry at his toys. He is teething but is dosed up, we do all his sleeping cues and we're lucky if he goes down within half an hour. I don't know what to do!! I've tried reducing his naps from two a day to one, I've tried keeping him awake longer so he goes down, pushing his bed time later, nothing is working! Heeeeeeelp!

 

[Ella1979]

It might sound weird, but have you tried the opposite? If he's chronically overtired, he probably needs more sleep not less. I know this is easier said than done, but personally I'd try an earlier bedtime and two naps or quiet times - one mid-morning and one after lunch. Have you got something like a light and music projector or something that will hold his interest but is also relaxing? Sometimes when my son is exhausted and goes past when he should have napped, he screams going into his cot, but I try to put something in with him to hold his interest and then he plays with that until he falls asleep.

 

[kumber]

We've tried all of these. He's on two naps a day currently, he will have them most days but today and yesterday hes has refused his afternoon one and has screamed and screamed to get up. This afternoon he is surprisingly not grumpy but we have another hour and a half at least until bedtime. I am now wondering should we try dropping the afternoon nap (obviously if he's falling asleep then I will put him down).

We have tried mobiles, white noise, gentle music/sounds, cuddling, rocking, even controlled crying (it was a massive failure and would never do it again), sitting with him, lying with him, and probably more besides. He has a comforter that he plays with and cuddles with in bed.

Now I've said he's not grumpy he's gone into meltdown cus his daddy didn’t pick him up immediately upon entering the room!

 

[flisstebbs]

I am mummy to a champiom sleep fighter... just taken 45 mins to get her settled. This is now quite unusual now though (she's 19 months). Big turning point was when she started to walk as it definitely helps to physically wear them out!
It helped me loads to mentally let go of my previous expectations, and shut my ears to advice and even now I just try to enjoy the long wind downs as much as possible. #2 on the way is making me worried though, but as with every other situation we'll get through it somehow!!

 

[kumber]

So there is light at the end of the tunnel?!?!?!

 

[TTT]

You must be so frustrated. I only have one who is 4.5 months so not been in your shoes yet.

What comforts him? Could you use an item that comforts him like a specific teddy that he can only have at bedtime? Probably a ridiculous idea but wanted to offer some thing cos you've been more helpful to me than you'd know on a topic I posted.

Since its warm atm would a bedtime walk in his pushchair get he m to sleep? Enough so that you could transfer him to bed OK?

Hope its just a phase he's going through.

 

[kumber]

Frustrated isn't the word! I can understand that, to a certain extent, he doesn't mean to do it - he is just obsessed with playtime.

He has a comforter at bedtime, a little teddy holding a blanket which he will proper smoosh into his face. It's actually adorable! So he has that bedtime cue which I do think helps.

A walk in the pushchair wouldn’t work, he has only ever slept in it once. He is a nosey little tinker and will crane himself around to look at everything and anything. Or he'll scream to get out so he can crawl instead. He hardly sleeps in the car either and is guaranteed to wake up the second the car stops, so I'm here just like

I wish it was a phase but I suspect not, he's been like this from birth. I have accepted that he is a sleep fighter and I can cope with that as long as I have ways or even a way of getting him to sleep in a reasonable amount of time.

I appreciate you replying though hun, your ideas are great ones

 

[TTT]

Would a bedtime routine of bath then storytime help? Or is he too young?

What about letting him play in a tablet in bed? I know they say you get lesser quality sleep after looking at blue screens but lesser quality sleep is surely better than being over tired all the time

 

[kumber]

We have quite a solid bedtime routine, he will have dinner between 5-5:30, a half hour play, bum done, teeth brushed, milk with In The Night Garden sitting on the sofa with us so he is forced to sit still and calm down, then he goes into his bed for story time, has a cuddle, his comforter and dummy and is left to self settle.

Bedtime is slowly improving but whether that's because he's exhausted from the day or the routine is working I couldn't say.

 

[TTT]

Do you have the wonder weeks app? Just looked and his age suggests he is going through leap 7 called sequences and will unknowingly play with different emotions. Dunno if that might help you or not :/ sounds like you've done everything you possibly can. At the very least if it is a leap its nearly over for you!

 

[kumber]

Yeah, I have the app. It was great in the early months but I've found as he's gotten older it's not as reliable which is a shame. I love looking at what he might be able to do afterwards though and watching him to see if he does it. I get so excited when he does something new, hubby says I'm forever scribbling in "that infernal baby book"

 

[Kiagirl]

We had a tough month or so at 11 months, she just wouldn't go down and I had to lay with her for 45 mins or so and commando roll out of her room. Sometimes she would wake and it would take 3 hours. In the end I just put her in our bed and watched tv with her, she always fell straight to sleep unlike when I laid with her in her room so I bit the bullet and took the cot side off. She laid straightin her bed closed her eyes and started falling asleep unlike the back arching and screaming as I lowered her in before. I stayed with her the first night then pretty much after that she went all night and starting napping in there during the day. We have a cot bed with 2 height settings so I took the side off and OH cut a bit of wood to size and screwed it in the bottom holes to create a lip so she couldn't roll out. She can get out if she wants to but doesn't really bother. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea but it worked for is and now she is nearly 2 and asks to go to bed and sleeps 6.30-6.30 every night

 

[kumber]

Y'know I never fully thought about space but thinking on it now, he would never sleep well in the Moses but slept much better in the cot. We were looking at a cot bed but I'm now thinking is it worth going straight into a bed with those side bar things. He does like his space to roll around.

 

[CARNAT22]

I have to go to bed with my 5 month old to get her to sleep!!!! Shoot me now.

(Rod and back are words that spring to mind!!)

I don't recommend this option!!!

X

 

[kumber]

Sometimes you just have to, don't you! We had to lie dowm next to him for a looooong time, he would roll around, stand up, walk around the cot, so it got to the point where we'd have to lie on our bed next to him and put a hand on his chest just to stop him from rolling so he could get some sleep!! We are lucky in that we managed to slowly work our way out of the room so he could self settle but he was about 9 months before we could do that completely and even now he sometimes still wants it. Unfortunately he is in his own room now so has to learn to do it on his own. I can't go and lie with him when the baby's here either, so it's a case of being tough

 

[flisstebbs]

So there is light at the end of the tunnel?!?!?!

Yes!! I remember feeling totally desperate about things at around the 12 months. Its so much better now, although my LGs personality means she will always fight sleep and bedtime. I've made my peace with the fact she will never just climb into bed and go to sleep like some toddlers/children, and we now enjoy the time together rather than it being a fight?

And we had similar disastrous experience with CIO/CC attempts, so have not made much effort at teaching self settling. Do you know what, she just did it when she was ready! Still go up and down with it, but on the whole, much much better.

 

[kumber]

Thanks flisstebs, this makes me feel so much better. His self settling is great when we catch him at the right time, but it's just getting that time! Hopefully he continues to improve as he gets older.