Losing hope of ever being a Mommy

[VickyClare]

Hi everyone, well I had a scan (ultrasound and transvaginal) today and it looks as though I have a split uterus.

I've been googling and I'm devastated. It answers our questions as to why we lost our daughter and son.

I just want to drink myself into oblivion. I've just had enough!

I feel so lost. We have our baby Joshua's funeral on Tuesday which is the same day that we see our consultant for all my results. I just know deep down that my dream to become a Mom is just that, a dream. I know I won't be able to attend the funeral.

I was born at 26 weeks and right now I wish that I hadnt survived

Xx

 

[Lozzaste]

I have never read a post where I want to give someone a massive massive hug as much as this one! Please please don't drink, I've tried that and it doesn't help. Temporarily yes, but it doesn't change anything.
I'm so sorry to hear of what you've been through, it's so awful and no one should ever have to.
You will smile again and there is always hope, don't ever give up in your quest to be a mummy because it's people who try so hard to be a mummy make very grateful mummies and amazing mummies.
Are you under Birmingham Women's? (I see your location is West Mids) if not, you can self refer. I have done that and they are absolutely fantastic. The pregnancy loss clinic particularly. I can give you names via PM if you'd like.
I'm so so sorry for what you're going through and I'm sending lots of love xxxx

 

[megsmeadow]

Oh Vicky what a difficult road you have ahead. Take things hour by hour and try not to predict too far into the future. Do what you feel is right for you and Joshua. Oirrinns funeral was a matter of minutes for us. Me, oh and oirrinn. No music, no one else. You don't have to be present to say goodbye, there's plenty of ways to do that. But please don't look back and regret not having done something. I bet you don't feel it but you've an inner strength that will get you through.
Please stay with us, you are a very special mummy and have already inspired others, including me to keep going.
pm any time. xxx

 

[Clementine]

Please don't lose hope, you have been through so much but you can still fight on, you were born at 26 weeks so you're definitely a strong nut. As far as I know you can get treatment for a split uterus hopefully your consultant can give you some good advice and support. I wish you lots of strength to get through these very difficult days, take care of you.

 

[laurat]

Xxxxx

 

[Hopeful75]

I just want to give you a massive hug. These are dark days and it must seem like everything is pointless. Stay strong - you can cope with this. Spend time with loved ones. Decide on Joshua's funeral on the day, but do think about how you might feel about either decision in the future. You're in so much pain that it must seem like you can't take anything else, but the sense of closure may help as a stepping stone towards brighter days.
Don't stop dreaming of being a mum. One way or another it will happen and, as lozzaste says, you'll be an amazing mum because of the trials you have gone through to get there.
My thoughts are with you.

 

[megsmeadow]

Hey Vicky. Just wanted to let you know I've been thinking of you lots (im sure you're in lots of people's thoughts). I hope you managed to get through another day. Sending some love your way xx

 

[Cosmogirl7]

Vicky you're the strongest woman I've come across on here, what you've gone through is awful but please don't give up. Have they given you suggestions of what can be done to overcome your split uterus? Forgive me but I've never heard of this. After 3 losses myself I can appreciate on some level how you feel as I worry that I'll never be a mummy too and the thought breaks my heart but I know I'll never give up trying. It's so tough for you right now but keep fighting.

Thinking about you xxx