little one and an upcoming bump!

[blueberrybaby8]

hello ladies, well firstly what a shock to be back chatting on this forum, so soon anyway! I was a keen member last year, and in April 2016 I had my beautiful baby boy. He's now 9 months old and perfect as ever.
okay..plot twist..I'm 6 weeks pregnant (nearly 7) keeping it very much a secret, I even feel funny posting this so soon, before any scans or anything, but I'm pretty sure I'll be joining the September mummies group, fingers crossed all goes to plan.

Just wanted to say hello, also would be interested to find out about if any of you are in a similar situation, close age gaps between baby and little one, or just any second time mummy advice!

Rachael Xx

 

[Elfs Mummy]

Hello I'm sure I remember you from last year I had my lb in June 2016 and I'm now 7 weeks pregnant so not to a dissimilar gap I'm absolutely terrified as between dd and ds it's a 5 year age gap. Look forward to seeing you in the September mummy group xx

 

[Rose83]

Hey! Had my little boy in March last year and am 9 weeks pregnant so almost exact same gap as you. I also have a 25 month old so I'm going to have 3 under 3. Currently have a 15 month gap between them and this next one will be an 18 month gap between youngest two x

 

[blueberrybaby8]

Aw so some very similar congratulations on your pregnancies. I think it's great that we can chat on here and have that support, even when we haven't announced anything yet off line. seems a little scary...or a lot.
we're certainly going to have our hands full. Any tips going from mummy to 1 to mummy of two eek Xx

 

[Elfs Mummy]

i found going from one to two pretty easy. the best thing i can suggest is to be relaxed about everything we had no routine for the first few weeks and just went with the flow. Also get a decent baby carrier its so much easier when youre at the park etc xx

 

[Rose83]

I was breast feeding so spent a lot of time on the sofa but found a swinging chair good for sitting baby in so he could watch his crazy sister run around and play. When he was a couple of months old we had a mini heat wave in Scotland so I'd wait until he was sleepy then get him in the pram and park him in the garden while I played with my daughter in the sprinkler/sand pit etc.
He was a big boy and the sling I had was useless for me as he was too heavy and killed my back so for baby 3 I'm going to get something sturdier like the Ergo 360 carrier. We have a local toddler group twice a week that is free so I tried to get out to that as he would sleep in his car seat that I carried in with me and usually stayed asleep the whole time we were in there which meant she got a bit of activity and fun with other people. I did loads of batch cooking prior to his arrival so that I he individual toddler sized portions frozen (pound land do a great set of 6 Tupperware in exactly the right size for what my daughter eats) so I didn't have to think too much about her lunch and dinner.

I think the jump from 1 to 2 is quite a big one and you get a lot of mummy guilt at first that you suddenly can't give your first all the attention they are used to but then as they are still so young they soon forget their sibiling once wasn't there and they know they can't get your attention all the time. I found I got tearful a bit at first and missed my girl time (I still do sometimes) so I'd have to say to my partner 'I want to put her to bed/play X thing with her' and ask him to take my son just so I could. Looking back I don't feel like it's been that hard but I know there were hard bits and he is still a terrible sleeper (whereas she is amazing) and that gets really exhausting after a while.

Probably the hardest thing I've found is that I quit my job to look after them full time as my salary would have only covered putting them in childcare and my petrol to work so no point. What I've found is that this does cause some friction with OH, obviously he agreed to me quitting and thought I should but he does like to bring up the fact that he is the one earning all the money and feels like he has less responsibility to get up early at weekend etc to play with them because he deserves the rest when he has been working all week. And most of the time I agree but sometimes I feel resentful that I don't ever get a lie in, I don't ever go on a night out (he has done a few times), and basically everything is just seen as my job to do when it comes to the children so often even if he doesn't mean to he makes me feel like he is doing me a favour by doing a child related task and then because he is making all the money I start to feel like maybe he is right. He forgets that giving up my job (as a teacher) means I've lost part of my identity, I barely get time for my hobbies and that does get very wearing. Realise I've gone on a bit of rant there! I suppose what I'm trying to say is maybe before the second one appears I'd recommend talking to your partner honestly about how much work it will be and make it clear that you still need some 'me' time so that he is prepared for sometimes having to do the work of a mum because men seem to have no idea how much that entails judging by my friends husbands! X

 

[KateK]

Tri hopping here but my goodness Rose I could have written that last paragraph.. It's the exact same dynamic in our house, I feel guilty asking him to do anything. I gave up my 'normal' job but still work as much as I can as a freelance artist and then obviously i'm running a household. It's really hard and overwhelming at times when you realise that if you stop, everything falls to bits (I really notice when i'm ill etc.) I also do all the 'man' jobs like paperwork, bills, garden, diy, car stuff, basically everything apart from going to an office for 8 hours a day! Argh.. sorry to hijack your thread Rachael but that really resonated with me! Congratulations on your pregnancy.. it's a lovely age gap - me and my brother are 18 months apart and we're so close, same friends growing up etc. and always had more in common with him/ argued less with him than my other siblings! xx

 

[blueberrybaby8]

no no not hijacked it at all! this space is for us all to chat or have a rant or compare feelings! I too, could relate to some of the things Rose was saying. I guess the transition is hard no matter how many children, I know it took me a little while with my little boy. I do hospital work and enjoyed hobbies and going to the gym, with having him and suddenly not working or ha big the time for anything else, I lacked that identity which I found difficult. My partner works obviously and brings in the wage, so I feel bad asking for help (even though he does, and still gets up in the night)

I can understand your upset in not having the attention and time for your first anymore, when I found out I was pregnant I was upset too, already worrying about giving him the time and attention he needs.
I guess you just learn to adapt with two and make it work.
The sling idea is the best one yet, so I'll look into getting a really good one. I breastfed my little boy and fully intend to do so with this baby too.
we go to a lot of baby groups already so will also continue to do that, even with a baby in tow!

thank you for all your feedback ladies, it's lovely hearing similar situations or whether it's just relating to how you feel. makes me feel a little more at ease, even though I'm still very scared! my (currently) 9 month old is so so active.
He was crawling and pulling himself up at 6 months, now at 9 he's standing independently and on the verge of walking.
so I can never rest!
I've got awful fatigue and nausea, any tips for that?! Xx

 

[Elfs Mummy]

I have the ergo 360 which has been a life saver I also have a moby wrap xx

 

[blueberrybaby8]

yeah I like the idea of a wrap, I was looking at the baby k'tan baby carriers which seem nice. wraps seem more comfortable for both compared to a more structured carrier..if you know what I mean.
But plenty of time for researching things like that
How's everyone feeling? X

 

[StephHarris212]

Rachael, congrats btw! Seems we are both in the September group!

As for how I'm feeling, I've been nauseous, Sore chest, Bloating, Gagging, Headaches, Hot and cold flashes, etc. I can say I have been all over the place emotionally. But, definitely worth it all for the end result.

Besides, your issue with sleep how are you feeling? I'm hoping besides the nausea and sleeping you are doing well?

I have looked into Greico carriers for my upcoming bundle of joy. Here in the USA they are typically the more trusted brand. Hopefully you find what works for you and your babies. Anywho, happy 9 months

 

[blueberrybaby8]

Aw your battling the symptoms too Steph! Hope they ease a little for you soon.

Well the sleep is a little better since my initial post, baby 1 seems to be responding well to a few changes and is only really waking once a night (a little more manageable!)
I don't wake up feeling refreshed by any stretch of the imagination but that's down to baby 2 doing it's thing! Your right though, it's all worth it in the end.
I'm too feeling the bloating and sore chest etc...all fun eh?!

Wow the USA, super jealous! I'd love to travel back there again.
Handy to know about the carriers though and which you'd look out for.
Happy 9 months too fellow September mummy! Xx

 

[StephHarris212]

Aw your battling the symptoms too Steph! Hope they ease a little for you soon.



Well the sleep is a little better since my initial post, baby 1 seems to be responding well to a few changes and is only really waking once a night (a little more manageable!)

I don't wake up feeling refreshed by any stretch of the imagination but that's down to baby 2 doing it's thing! Your right though, it's all worth it in the end.

I'm too feeling the bloating and sore chest etc...all fun eh?!



Wow the USA, super jealous! I'd love to travel back there again.

Handy to know about the carriers though and which you'd look out for.

Happy 9 months too fellow September mummy! Xx

Oh yeah! In terms of symptoms it's like a roller coaster ride. Up and down up and down haha. Today the headaches really kicked in hard as did the cramps. Seems I'm doing quite a bit of burping today too haha.

My bathroom has also turned into my best friend if you know what I mean haha. I also am having some spotting as well when I wipe (I'm hoping this is normal and not a sign of mc) bit more so today though.

And, yeah Greico makes car seats and carriers. Pretty cool stuff. Well made too.