LETS CELEBRATE EVERYONE!!!!!

[valentine]

Plus the bfing sticky hasn't been used since November 2007 So it don't count...

Good point! Do you want to do some updating or make a new thread for us!

Valentine Xxx

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Yeah I agree. Theres even a sticky for it. There aint one for bottle feeders etc.

In general though there tend to be more bottle feeding threads than bfing threads... I don't really respond to the bottle feeding ones... because they ask questions like how many bottles should my LO be having and I just honestly have no clue... its a what does the tin say scenario... (can you tell I'm a microwave cook ) But it tends to be the threads where mothers are choosing to give up bfing... where to say that you should just keep at it is frowned upon and the move to formula is encouraged. Or to ask those who choose to bottle feed, why they choose not to bf'd is considered distasteful.. those sort of things... like to do so makes you one of these evil members of the bfing mafia...and I'm not... I've always believed a happy mum makes a happy baby...

SarahH is right of course no one should feel bad about their parenting decisions... but I feel that I am classified as one of those freaky hippy people who would rather put their kids in harms way, starve them to do the currently preferred parenting fad... Rather than someone who is doing the something that is of infinite benefit to themselves and their child. Also its considered acceptable to bottle feed your baby beyond 6 months... I don't think there are many bottle feeders here who have to put up with "Are you STILL bottle feeding that baby"... "he'll be clingy!"... "she'll never learn to be independent"... So especially for mothers who bf'd their babies longer than 6 months.. its an incredible achievement, because they don't just have practical strangers who disapprove.. your family and friends do to... Its very hard to go against your peers its ever so disheartening... bottle feeding is far more supported in older babies.

But thats just how I feel in general about my decision and feelings towards bf'd and how that is perceived by many people...

Plus the bfing sticky hasn't been used since November 2007 So it don't count...

Yeah I think thats why its such a good idea to have a bottle feeding thread, cos then we can have all the questions in one place and a single reference point so that we arnt asking the same questions over and over again.

I think that the main problem with the "should I keep BFing" threads is that they are very emotive. The person who writes them has got to a point where they feel completely terrible and useless and a hopeless Mum because for whatever reason, the BFing isnt going right. So what tends to happen (speaking from my own expereince) is that the person who starts the thread is already a little on the defensive and emotional, so honestly, the BFers are up against it from the start in recommending they continue to BF. Again, in my experience, I remember thinking "whats wrong with me, why can they do it and its not working for me?" and feeling absolutely crappy and inferior and basically the worlds worst mum! Thats why I feel inferior and like I have to explain myself whenever a weaning / Bottle thread comes up. Also, I have to say, until today I didnt realise that breast feeders felt that way too - like they have to do down their achievements etc.

thats why I thought it was so important to create a thread to celebrate everyone cos no one should ever have to explain themselves in a way where they are feeling like they have to apologise for how they bring up their children. It dont matter whether you BF or bottle, wean early of BLW post 6 months, etc etc, we all do it with our childrens best interests at heart and no one should apologise for that.

 

[laracomps]

I think there needs to be a sticky in 3rd tri about bottle/breastfeeding tbh .. .. I think any new mum who has breastfed the early weeks can appreciate how damm hard it is for something that is supposed to come so natrual ..I think people who do intend to bf could deffo do with more preparation .. I was amazed at how hard it was...totally unprepared and as a result I often see the same questions arising in feeding section regarding early bf days. Its quite a traumatic time too I found just given birth but going through some of the latch problems constant feeding I found harder to deal with than labour itself... just think if I was a little more clued up about it throughout preggo it might not of been so upsetting them early weeks .. and I might of enjoyed it more... I was just scared that things I were experiencing wernt normal but infact they were... but never the less bought me a lot of unneccesary heartache if I had known what to expect I coulda relaxed more. Instead I spent days thinking I had little/no milk and that I was a failure .. along with the baby blues .. it was just a time I will never forget and a time I never shed so many tears. I actually felt my heart aching at times I thought that I might have to give up as I was doing something wrong. Im sure lots of newmums feel this way and I respect who ever has battled through it. If I didnt have Morag who I met through this forum I dont know what I woulda done.

Anyway enough babbling 3rd triers tend not to look down this way often mabey we could take some info up to them so they can know what to expect in terms of both breast and bottle feeding.

I completely agree with this idea. Part of why I failed breast feeding i'm sure is because I just assumed Phoebe would feed every 4 hours. Done. No mw told me her constant crying could be hunger and it was normal to constantly feed for weeks. Topping up was bad advice, blah blah blah. The best advice I gained was from this forum - ppl in this thread!

I too feel pangs of upset when I see breast feeding posts - but because I am so very jealous of you all. I wish it worked for me and Phoebe, but it didn't. I found it very hard to come to terms with it. I feel like I am judged because I bottle feed - but not necessarily on this forum per se, even when I'm out I feel like I'm being looked down upon. However I also think my emotional hormonal over thinking brain has a lot do to with this. I think that is why I notice booby feeding posts more than bottle feeding ones, and probably vice versa!

I am sure I would have the same feelings if I was breast feeding and getting the negative comments that you do - I would also want to stick up for myself. Its a wonderful thing - but so is bringing a baby into this world full stop

To be honest I think everyone has it as hard as everyone else, and without the support on this forum I would not have gotten through the early days, breast feeding OR bottle feeding.

For this reason I'd like to thank you all. WE ARE all brilliant.

 

[Angelblue]

I've just read the whole thread, and just wanted to say as someone who has breastfed,bottlefed,early weaned and late weaned, noe of them are at all easy decisiopns to make. But what ever you do for your baby that makes you both happy is the right decision!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Urchin]

I think there needs to be a sticky in 3rd tri about bottle/breastfeeding tbh .. .. I think any new mum who has breastfed the early weeks can appreciate how damm hard it is for something that is supposed to come so natrual ..I think people who do intend to bf could deffo do with more preparation .. I was amazed at how hard it was...totally unprepared and as a result I often see the same questions arising in feeding section regarding early bf days. Its quite a traumatic time too I found just given birth but going through some of the latch problems constant feeding I found harder to deal with than labour itself... just think if I was a little more clued up about it throughout preggo it might not of been so upsetting them early weeks .. and I might of enjoyed it more... I was just scared that things I were experiencing wernt normal but infact they were... but never the less bought me a lot of unneccesary heartache if I had known what to expect I coulda relaxed more. Instead I spent days thinking I had little/no milk and that I was a failure .. along with the baby blues .. it was just a time I will never forget and a time I never shed so many tears. I actually felt my heart aching at times I thought that I might have to give up as I was doing something wrong. Im sure lots of newmums feel this way and I respect who ever has battled through it. If I didnt have Morag who I met through this forum I dont know what I woulda done.

Anyway enough babbling 3rd triers tend not to look down this way often mabey we could take some info up to them so they can know what to expect in terms of both breast and bottle feeding.

good idea, Mids do you wanna do a BFing FAQs one in Ask a Mum? And then if someone wants to do a formula one too they can

 

[DebbieM]

I agree with Laracomps, without this forum I would probably be sat in the corner of a mental hospital rocking from side to side by now. It's the support here that keeps us all going I think...

 

[DebbieM]

I think there needs to be a sticky in 3rd tri about bottle/breastfeeding tbh .. .. I think any new mum who has breastfed the early weeks can appreciate how damm hard it is for something that is supposed to come so natrual ..I think people who do intend to bf could deffo do with more preparation .. I was amazed at how hard it was...totally unprepared and as a result I often see the same questions arising in feeding section regarding early bf days. Its quite a traumatic time too I found just given birth but going through some of the latch problems constant feeding I found harder to deal with than labour itself... just think if I was a little more clued up about it throughout preggo it might not of been so upsetting them early weeks .. and I might of enjoyed it more... I was just scared that things I were experiencing wernt normal but infact they were... but never the less bought me a lot of unneccesary heartache if I had known what to expect I coulda relaxed more. Instead I spent days thinking I had little/no milk and that I was a failure .. along with the baby blues .. it was just a time I will never forget and a time I never shed so many tears. I actually felt my heart aching at times I thought that I might have to give up as I was doing something wrong. Im sure lots of newmums feel this way and I respect who ever has battled through it. If I didnt have Morag who I met through this forum I dont know what I woulda done.

Anyway enough babbling 3rd triers tend not to look down this way often mabey we could take some info up to them so they can know what to expect in terms of both breast and bottle feeding.

good idea, Mids do you wanna do a BFing FAQs one in Ask a Mum? And then if someone wants to do a formula one too they can

I think that is a GREAT idea. I wish there had been such a thread 5 months ago. I'd have made use of it. I think it is important to know the ins and outs from a Mums POV on stuff like this.

 

[keli]

When i was pregnant i read all the posts in the feeding section and i do feel it prepared me for what was to come re BF. ( hell ) lol. So i think it's a great idea to pop a thread in 3rd tri to make mums to be aware of whats involved xx

 

[Magic Monkey]

I have only just read this and want to add something!!!

No one on here pressures anyone one way or another, but, society does. I felt an enormous pressure to breastfeed from all angles, midwives, the media, friends with babies etc. If I am totally honest, I never really wanted to do it, but I felt that I couldn't admit that before having Ella. When I had her I tried and hated every minute of feeding her, yet I still didn't admit this as the staff in the hospital were pushing me so much to breastfeed. I had said from the beginning of my pregnancy that I would try, but if I couldn't do it it wouldn't bother me if I had to give up, and yet I still cried for hours when I made the decision and felt ashamed to tell anyone. That doesn't come from me, it comes from the pressure I felt to do it. This wasn't helped by the disapproving comments and looks from the midwives who visited me after the birth.

Now, I don't regret my decision one bit. I understand that breast is best and that women should be encouraged to breastfeed, but I think it could be done in a less pressuring way. I was made to feel like a failure for not doing it by the midwives, which I think is totally unfair.

I also think that the sticky is a fantastic idea, and I am sorry if I am rambling!

 

[laracomps]

Can I also suggest that maybe there is some information put somewhere about mixed feeding? I would have found this very helpful when I found myself doing so for 12 weeks. I know there are not as many people around to write it, and I certainly probably am not an expert, but even a list of pros and cons might help people? And maybe info about re-lactation.

 

[DebbieM]

3rd tri post done

Your post is brilliant x

 

[Misslarue]

And maybe info about re-lactation.

Agreed, this would have been helpful for me.
Dan was born 4 weeks prem so had no sucking reflex. I feed him with a pipette!

At 2 weeks old he was rushed back into hospital with bronchiolitis and put in an oxygen tent so I was unable to feed him. I never realised at the time that although I was unable to feed him as he was on a drip and he also needed to remain in the oxygen tent, that I should have contuine to express my milk. By the time he was allowed to return home my milk had almost dired up. I spent many weeks at breastfeeding clinic and taking fenugreek etc. If only someone had told me to keep expressing, it would have helped me and Dan so much! Any re-lactation help after that would have been greatly appreciated. It took me a very long time to re-establish my milk!

 

[laracomps]

3rd tri post done

Your post is brilliant x

I second that.

I have added a bit to it, breast feeding expert I am not , but hope I've helped a bit

 

[Misslarue]

Midna, the following is about as much as I know! I never did re-establish my milk fully as I think I unfortnately I had gone too far. But I was told the following:

If you want to BF and you can't feed your baby for whatever reason
express, express express! You need to express at least 8 times a day, one being in the night to keep your milk flowing.
Remember you will never express as much as your baby can feed from you so don't be disheartened when you only express a few ounces. Keep going!

When expressing continue to pump for at least 10 mins after milk has stopped flowing to up your supply (I was constantly told this by the BF clinic)

Fenugreek avaliable at health stores can help increase your milk supply

Also Domperidone avaliable on prescription will increase your milk supply, talk to your GP about this.

This is about as much as I know!

Midna you are doing a great job

 

[laracomps]

Midna, the following is about as much as I know! I never did re-establish my milk fully as I think I unfortnately I had gone too far. But I was told the following:

If you want to BF and you can't feed your baby for whatever reason
express, express express! You need to express at least 8 times a day, one being in the night to keep your milk flowing.
Remember you will never express as much as your baby can feed from you so don't be disheartened when you only express a few ounces. Keep going!

When expressing continue to pump for at least 10 mins after milk has stopped flowing to up your supply (I was constantly told this by the BF clinic)

Fenugreek avaliable at health stores can help increase your milk supply

Also Domperidone avaliable on prescription will increase your milk supply, talk to your GP about this.

This is about as much as I know!

Midna you are doing a great job

Am feeding at mo... but want to add.

If you are mixed feeding, always offer boob first, then express straight after to increase supply. Express after every feed This means they can refill before next feed Also maybe try lactation aid.

 

[laracomps]

Another couple of relactation points to add that I couldn't last night. Phoebe was being a pest.

1. You could try a Supplemental Nursing System (Lactation aid). However I strongly advise (as do manufacturers) that you use one in conjunction with a lactation consultant. They are fiddly to use, and at the point I tried this I was exhausted and couldn't persevere with getting it right. If someone had shown me how, it might have worked out a bit different.

2. If you are struggling with low milk supply, get checked out for Anaemia. Being Anaemic can greatly affect your supply.

3. Expect it to be hard work. Expect tears from both you and baby.

4. Try and give a little less formula / expressed milk than baby is used to, this means that they should want to feed more frequently, hence more booby sucking.

I am sure I read a thread a month or so back about someone who had successfully re-lactated?! Maybe they have more points to add.


ETA: Didn't know where to put this?! Hope its in right thread, or can be moved to the right one

 

[AnnaR2B]

The 3rd Tri idea is great!!!!
I didn't come on the forum for a good few months after having Ted, because i had some problems with breast feeding and had the major baby blues about it all, so that would have really helped me
I just assumed when i was pregnant i would BF no problem and when i couldn't.... i felt a failure, then when i actually enjoyed and saw the benefits to bottle feeding...i felt guilty
The new posts that have arisen from this will really help people....

See girls what a bit of mass - debating can do!!!!!!