Labour without much family help - how scary is it?

[first_time_mom]

Hey all,

I am new to this forum and still a TTC. I have a Q to all you amazing moms out there. Whenever we have a baby, my husband and I will not have any help from family - i.e. no experienced moms or mother-in-laws or siblings around to help us out. They are all in a different country.

So, how scary is it for just the two of us to manage? I am terribly scared if it turns out to be a c-section! Any info from experience/advise would be very much appreciated!! Losing my sleep over this Thanks in advance!!

- first_time_mom

P.S: I was browsing through the wonderful new born stories on this forum and looks like not everyone has much help either - probably I am being very paranoid!!

 

[Sarah13]

Please don't stress, you will be fine. I've never lived near family (I have a military background) and managed fine. Long as you support each other and have some good mummy friends about you will be ok. If you don't have mummy friends make sure you get to mum and baby or maternity classes so you make some friends. And you can always come on here for advice and support too!

 

[first_time_mom]

Thank you, Sarah! I think making good mummy friends at maternity classes is a great idea. Also, this forum rocks!

 

[littlemiss83]

You'll be fine.

Me & OH had literally no support from friends & family as both mines & his live too far, but we did see them on the odd occasion - and OH was working alot so it did feel like I was a single mum. Its hard at times but you get by. I'd say the worst part is not being able to hand baby over to someone when its crying non-stop. Best advice is, put baby in its cot & sit in another room for 5/10 mins it wont do any harm.

And try & get out & about to various things as much as you can - you'll be suprised at how easy it is to make friends thro groups/nursery ect, as there will be alot of ppl in the same boat!

 

[stacey_lea86]

You'll be fine! All our family live in the UK & we are lucky we have made a few good friends in Germany to help us out if needed!

You will get set into your routine & you will just crack on! You will make good friends in the same boat as you as a previous poster has said. Nurseries, playgroups etc! xx

 

[first_time_mom]

Thanks littlemiss83 and stacy_lea86! It is really a huge relief to have all this support I will certainly be in the lookout for mommy friends!

 

[Squeakz]

hey hun me and my oh were the same as you (ours were in same country but hours away). when you have your lo regardless of anything its the most terrifying overwhelming liberating and truly phenomenal experiences you will have! all in a very positive wa. remember to trust you gut instinct, dont feel pressurised by doctors/mws/hvs if you tbelieve or feel' to the contrry - i promise you those 'feelings' are second to none - trust them. dont worry if you and oh struggle/argue its normal! you;re learning to love/bond with another person change your lives and adapt appropriately. its sary but my god youll look back and think WOW we did it!! its the sharpest yet the singe most rewarding learnig curve ever eve ever. make sure you have acess to call family as even just hearing their voices is good enough - could you get skype??

i remember once i called my mm in tears when i didnt know what to do and just hearing her talk to me was enough HONESTLY! also this forum has been my saviour! at 4 in the morning, when i was stressed about feeding, sleeping, crying, temperatures, bedtime routines etc etc you will always get a friendly voice. also use your HV for what they are there for, for support. even if yu need to call every single day!!

its hard of course but my god you can do it!! xx

 

[first_time_mom]

Thank you so much, dear squeakz! I have skype and keep calling my family very regularly... and though I recently became a member, I spend a considerable amount of my spare time visiting this forum Looking forward to everything now

 

[Squeakz]

anytime!! and if ever wanna pm me - go ahead!! you'll be fine and skypes a great tool to have for keeping in touch with famiy! where in surrey are you??