Kind of hoping I'm not cause I hate "OH" right now

[Andrianne]

Can't go into details but I'm not in a very good place right now. After 6 years I thought I knew him. He keeps acting so selfishly it drives me nuts. But most of all it makes me so upset and sad and desperate. I guess I love him more than he does. I only wish he would appreciate some things. Anyway, sorry about my little rant. I don't know if I want to be pg or not, the unique feeling of "us" has left me for the time being

Haven't been able to log in and post in others' threads. Hope everyone is doing ok
xxxx

 

[HayleyB]

I've been in that place in a previous relationship!
As much as i wanted to be a mum, did i want to be with him and be a mum!

If you need to rant feel free to PM me or add me to msn if you'd like

xox

 

[rach]

sorry hun xxx

 

[arcanegirl]

(((hugs)))

 

[Tam]

Hope things improve fast for you hun xx

 

[Rosieroo]

Hope things getter better, may be just a small blip from the stresses of ttc?

 

[Wobbles]

Kina said it really TTC can be so much pressure on you both & your relationship. It has certainly that for me & my OH.

I hope things work out for you. Try & relax & maybe make TTC fun

 

[Andrianne]

Thank you all

It's not ttc'ing as our relationship is strange and not as everyone else's. But I believe strange or not respect and honesty should always be present. I hate hate hate when he's hiding instead of coming out with the truth about his needs/desires, it's so simple damnit!!! I want this/ I need this. He wouldn't have to explain any further. But no, excuses are always the safest way

I'm sure I'm not making much sense. I'm crying and shaking right now. Hopefully I will feel better soon

xxx

 

[HayleyB]

Graham's similar hun....
I never get a straight answer... even to something simple like "what do you fancy for tea?!"
Really irritates me.... Esp when i've asked him to do something and he forgets he doesn't just say "sorry i forgot" i get a big round explanation of the day and what happened that made him forget!!!

Its probably nothing like what you're going through... but when he grates on me it leaves my head wanting to explode!!!

Really hope it gets better for you hunni

xox

 

[Wobbles]

Aww wondering

My ex use to tell porkies about the silliest things it was outragous but I'm not sure if I'm seeing it's silly things or sexual (?)

Hayley I know what you mean - My OH is an irritating git! When I ask what he'd like for dinner he tells me he don't mind! When he asks me & I say I don't mind (on purpose lol) he gets annoyed with me & says I can never choose anything (lol) this goes down to even if we just want to go out the door for some time out "don't know" lol

Then the dishes, the house work, washing etc etc:
"you get to it before me"
"I'm busy working" (14 hrs of the day)
"such an such needed help with this"
"this happened on my admin panel"

*Yawn*

But when I have a go for taking me for granted his excuse is "I don;t ask you to do it" ... OK ... Week later "I have no clean socks" BLAH ... uhuh I was on strike!!

See look I'm ranting now He's done my tits in today!

Oooo an another *hug* for you wondering x x

 

[Helen]

Wondering

Sorry you're having such a ropey time with your man. I remember you confiding in us about your story a few months back. I thought you'd moved away from him

Your ticker suggests you believe in fate. If it was meant to be it will happen this month. I really hope you get what you want regardless of what he says or does.

Thinking of you.

H

xx

 

[HayleyB]

But when I have a go for taking me for granted his excuse is "I don;t ask you to do it" ... OK ... Week later "I have no clean socks" BLAH ... uhuh I was on strike!!

Ha ha!! I get that!!!!

I am on strike at the moment.... don't know if anyone read my post somewhere (who knows where) saying about him cooking, only that there was more down the front of the washing machine and up the side of the fridge than there was to eat....

I didn't clean it Was so proud of myself!!!

He's currently in the kitchen, cleaning to "Hayley Standards" i will be inspecting! If it meets standards i will do some washing etc tomorrow!! lol!!! (been on strike for almost 2 weeks!!)

xox

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

i hope everything works out for you hun, good luck.

Katrina

 

[Bec]

Awwwww Wondering .... I'm really sorry things are so great for you at the mo ... especially as you're about to go away ... Lets hope he bucks his ideas up before you leave ..... I'm sure he'll come around .... I don't know your situ, but things will work out one way or another......

But .... as the others said .... he is just a man ..... you can't expect too much! he he evil he!!

 

[bigbird]

I agree... he's a man!!!! my oh has been my childhood sweetheart only i he's still the child I've come close so many times to leaving you wouldn't believe. but right now thats the furthest from my mind, i luv him more than ever. my gran used to say to me "all good things come to those who wait" and "if its meant to be it will be". i hope things work out for you

 

[Andrianne]

It's so nice to come and see your support and hugs, it means so much to me

Unfortunately it's not over silly things. It's the way he's treating me. Plus he doesn't make it up to me. I've given him my heart and soul all these years and settled for crumbs. I am moving in about 2 weeks so he's making it much easier to forget him in a way.

I just don't understand the nerve of some people that def know they're wrong yet when you show your frustration they get mad at you !!! If 2 guys were to hurt me, I'm going to forgive the one who's going to apologize (although I'm not looking for an apology here) and ADMIT his sh*t not the one who's pretending all is fine.

Girls, I planned two trips to see him (we're LDR) and he obviously doesn't want to spend time with me, he's full of excuses and unfortunate "coincidences" (sorry I don't know if coincidence exists is plural too). He agreed to these trips, I actually left it to him to decide. He's being an ass ever since I got here. Can't wait to get back as I've got nothing to do here. Then I'm coming back next week, it will be in the form of vacation with my friends but near his town so that we could see each other. I don't even want to see him now, I only want to see him to bash at him (and maybe give him a good slap ). He's gonna want to defend himself instead of listening to me and admitting his mistakes. I'm in a no-win situation. Sigh

I'm just full of whys Why is he being like this?

Thanks for reading and thank you for the hugs and nice words

xxx

 

[Bec]

Wondering,

I know this is probably harsh of me to say ..... but it sounds like you deserve a hell of a lot better than this hon ..... he's being a complete arse and you shouldn't have to put up with it. You are worth so much more than that, and you shouldn't have to always be half way down his list of priorities ... sounds like you're the one who is always making the effort ... and not him ....

Sorry, but this sort of treatment of someone drives me crazy ... I don't know what your 'different' circumstances are, and I don't want to pry, but I think you should give some serious thought to moving on, and looking forward to Canada as a new and exciting start ....

Sorry if I've overstepped the mark here Wondering .... I do tend to go off on my little rants!!!!

Take care hon, thinking of you...

 

[Andrianne]

Thanks Bec. You're right about everything. I was just too stupid all these years. Circumstances prevent him from giving me much but when he is able to do things for me, he doesnt. We had a big row... Harsh words thrown at each other. I slammed the door and told him I hate him. He was being so cold and heartless.... It'd be different if he was always like that, makes it hard for me to forget all the good things he's ever done or said. I was pleading for an explanation about his behaviour. He was mean and was telling me he didn't want to see me.... I didn't want to see him either but I was hoping he would kneel and apologize, admit he's being unfair, admit he's making no effort in us.... He just shows me how one-sided all this has been for 6 years.

I've done nothing wrong, except for giving him my everything. This is how he appreciates me.

Last year around these days, he first mentionned the baby. How he wanted a baby with me because he loved me

This should be in relationships, I'm using up all the space! Mods, feel free to remove this

I can't find peace within myself. I hope time will heal my wounds. I thought death would be the reason for us to eventually break up (he's much older than me). It was a sick relationship half of the time so maybe it's for the best, don't know

 

[HayleyB]

Wondering i'm so so sorry!
I do agree with what Bec said.

From what you've said its more like my relationship with my ex from years ago. I gave it 150% and he just didn't.
Its so hard to explain what went on.

It sounds like you moving is coming at a good time for you, if you are ready to make that break? You deserve better... a relationship with you is a priviledge not a right, he should be working for the priviledge!

I hope whatever you do brings lots and lots of happiness like you deserve!!

xox

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Hi, i dont want ot seem bad or trying to influence yur decision, but my OH is EXACTLY the same. difference is, im now stuck with him as the father of my kid. i wanted her to be brought up with love surrounding her, not arguements. He was pure evil from the day i said i was PG. Pure evil. He started drinking more and stay out all night. start arguements so he could go down the pub and not come home and then act as if nothing was wrong with what he was doing and as if it was my fault for having a go at him all the time. How would any woman react when their 9 months PG and having braxton hicks constantly for 2 weeks so u dont know if ur in labour or not...calling ur OH, no answer, calling his m8s and they say hes passed ot in the pub loo or sleeping in the canal or on the fucking roof!!???!! I really hated him and he always made me cry. Luckily my waters broke at 6am and he wasnt drunk or hungover! He was 'wetting the babys head' for a year! He didnt come home from london where he works he was nasty to me and never told me what he was doin etc.. every night he stayed out, jaycee would play up and scream all night. They CAN sense stress and they CAN tell when your unhappy. It made her sad to feel me sad. We've had a rough 2 years and i gave him the final shock he needed 4 months ago. Hes now sober and we are getting on much better. I still worry he will go back as we are trying again.
But some days hes like 'yeah lets go for it!' and the next he'll be like, this is what YOU want and we cant afford it, i dont want any more!'... so what can ya do??
He picks at everything i say and do.. he irritates the hell out of me! I used to love him so much but i ended up hating the sound of his name! Im getting back to liking him again now, but theres stil doubts.
ll im saying is if your not happy with him etc then maybe have a long think about the TTC. If u have a baby with him and u end up splitting it may be harder on your child. Im not saying its bad to bring up a baby alone coz it can be done and sometimes it works out better but if u argue all the time then its something to consider.
Single mums rock! Dont get me wrong, but if theres gonna be arguing over it then its not fair on anyone. If u think u could work an arangement for u both to see the child etc if u do split then go for it. Chris never made it easy to be apart from him. so violent. Its just this sounds familiar to me. Im sorry for ranting and im still in 2 minds about pressing send as it may offend, but i just thought my input might help. again..sorry
Hope all ends well for u and i really hope u can work things out. Sorry to all who i have offended!!!