Keeping positive!

[andy2016]

Evening

I don't post a great deal as I feel slightly out of place but a lot things I've read on here have helped me feel better about the situation we are in (TTC with PCOS)

It's hard to be positive lately, I'm naturally quite a positive person but its hard to see all of my friends with their families and constantly announcing new additions.. Including a recent family one.

I know it will sound daft at me 27 and her 26 but I feel like time is running out day by day, I think this is down to my grand parents having my mother the last of 5 quite late on meaning I lost my grandad at a young age and I really don't want that for my kids.

I know with PCOS OPKs can be unreliable although they have worked before the first round of clomid taken earlier in the month they aren't even showing faint lines yet when if the clomid has worked they should be now or soon.

I've read about husbands finding OPK stashes on here, I wish my partner stashed them but its me who buys them and gets her to use them otherwise I doubt she would..just her way I guess

You all seem so positive but I'm struggling lately.. Maybe I should just be happy that we've been through the process they've found out what's wrong and have got clomid.

 

[Pinkz]

I'm sure a lot of people will agree but you are soooooo young still. Just try not to fret about it. It's difficult not to become consumed by it if this is what you want and you feel as if you're trying and getting nowhere. I hope you are just having a vent and not feeling like this all the time! Have you spoken to her about why she doesn't buy opk? Maybe if she has pcos she doesn't feel like it's worthwhile if they are unreliable?

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Hope you both get your BFP soon

 

[kelly88]

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[andy2016]

Thanks! Nah not feeling like this all of the time but its hard not to get a bit sad about after so long, the months of not knowing if something will work and all of the waiting.

As for the tests, she doesn't know they can be inaccurate with PCOS because I haven't said and she never looks stuff up about all of this

I'd be happier waiting 5 years knowing it would 100% happen rather than living with not knowing if it ever will

 

[andy2016]

I can't give any advice as I don't know much about PCOS but wanted to wish you all the best and hope you get a BFP really soon!

Thanks it seems so different for each women so its hard to understand what effects it has it seems

 

[Pinkz]

Yup tell me about it. I wish I had a crystal ball. So many plans on hold just in case I get pregnant...

Just hope we both get BFP soon

 

[MrsLaw]

My experience is similar but it was me buying the OpKS and doing all the research and I felt my hubby wasn't the least bit interested. After a few months I saw the pressure that he was under and i decided to stop using the opks and things worked great for a while. Low and behold it was then his idea to suggest that I start using them again (he's actually been browsing the net!).

I think it's possible that your partner IS doing her research but in her own time. Knowing that the problem is with her can be daunting and doing opks might be adding pressure. I think it's great that you're very invested and eager and that's a good trait tbh. Give her some time to come around, or perhaps take a step back and let her realise on her own how important it is to you. At the end of the day though Opks don't necessarily get you pregnant, It's important just to try and bed regularly.
I hope you start to feel more positive about the process despite the pressures of all the babies around. And I agree that you're still young. I'm turning 28.

 

[andy2016]

Yep so many plans on hold, life is on hold really!

Thanks for that mrslaw, I was really chilled about it at the start but it has been about 3 years now.. She had an appointment after about 18 months and the friendly usually helpful female doctor suggested it would happen in it's own time.. The usual story. It has only been the last maybe 1 year I've pushed for another appointment and stuff because something was surely wrong.. I never suggested it would be her or me we just went with an open mind.

I think my issue is the longer it goes on the more concerned I am it might never happen.. Since finding out about PCOS we never bothered to even try until getting clomid last month this is when she should hopefully ovulate I was hoping the OPKs would confirm it

 

[MrsLaw]

Yeah i hear that. Im sure it would be amazing to see a positive opk just confirm any fears about ovulation, and its fair for you to have anxieties around how much longer it might take.

Perhaps you could ask to be referred to a fertility specialist since its been 3 years? Perhaps they could put your mind at ease, and discuss your progress with Clomid?

Don't put life on hold though! I put plans on hold last year and still not pregnant lol, now I've booked a summer holiday and will go whether i have a fat belly or not.

 

[andy2016]

Best way to be about it! I just feel like I'm always thinking ahead and doing or not doing stuff in case it happens.

Just feels like it never will at the moment after all of the disappointment

 

[MoominGirl]

I'm the one who reads up on everything!! Think OH would just blissfully assume it will happen!! I've gone through phases. Generally feeling as in control as I can has helped me keep sane. Though I did hit a wall just before Xmas, I'm trying to get my mindset back on track. I've started tracking my cycles a bit more closely this month which I find helpful but I think going forward I'll be telling OH as little as possible as I don't think it works for him and I think he feels unnecessary pressure.

I've also decided that I'll be carrying on with life as normal as I've been making excuses not to book things too far ahead. In the end we've just ended up missing out on stuff. As much as we want a baby, we still need to enjoy being together while we wait for our time to come.

 

[andy2016]

Positive OPK today

I'm up and down about it all to be honest, I need to look stuff up I like to talk about it and stuff but she doesn't and is hard to know if she's thinking about it or upset about it etc. I'd love it if she was the one buying OPKs and getting as into it as me lol

 

[MrsLaw]

Positive OPK today

I'm up and down about it all to be honest, I need to look stuff up I like to talk about it and stuff but she doesn't and is hard to know if she's thinking about it or upset about it etc. I'd love it if she was the one buying OPKs and getting as into it as me lol

That's great! Start bedding.
I think you two need to have a good long but relaxed chat about it, she's obviously feeling some way about the situation. She might be feeling like she's resented for having pcos...Hopefully you'll be able to get her to open up regardless and more interested. FX!

 

[andy2016]

I think it's just her way to be honest, she doesn't hold advice on forums in high regard believing the only real valid info is from the doctors and experts which I can understand.

I'm always sure to let her know I'll be with her no matter what the outcome is and always try and get across that it can't be helped and is just one of those things etc.

I think she's a lot more positive about it all now though specially after getting a positive opk. Weirdly she always used to get positive opks a couple of days after her period before clomid but the next period was normally months ahead to arrive.

Its hard not to get excited though I always build myself up too much though and get ahead of myself lol