Just given a Dummy and feel really guilty!!

[Shaz]

Hiya

We had a bad night with Connor, he fed at the usual times but then when we put him back to bed he just led there whinging and sucking on my little finger for what seemed like hours.

Because he's on my side of the bed even though OH feeds him, it's me that he ends up finger-sucking on and it does quiten him down.

Its nearly 10.00 now and I fed him at 6 and then 8 and he's due another one but he didn't sleep between the 8 O'clock feed and now and I've just finally put a dummy in his mouth and he's gone off sound in his bouncy chair.

I really didn't want to use a dummy but I think sucking is a comfort to him.

Do you think it's OK if I just give it to him when he's trying to get to sleep??? He's settled down straight away now and I have my finger back!!!! He looks so peaceful now!!!! When I used to breast feed I had a suspiciion he was just comfort sucking half the time.

I didn't want to start on a soother but if I just use it at night if he's unsettled that would be OK wouldn't it? Most books say once they start getting weaned (at 6 months) they sleep better anyway 'cos their tummies are full!!

 

[smurf]

To be honest I think dummy's were the best inventions ever. My sisters' have six kids between them and they've all used them and were all weaned off them by the time they were 2 and a half. THey are just brilliant comforters. I certainly don't think you should feel in the slighest bit guilty it's calming your baby and as you say giving you back your finger . enjoy the peace.

 

[Shaz]

Hi Smurf

Thanks for the reply - I've just managed to remove it from him (he's had it for about 10 minutes) and he's still asleep so maybe I can just use it to settle him down and then take it out - easier said than done at night I know but there you go!!

 

[smurf]

Yeah that's a good idea usually at night it'll fall out of their mouths anyway once the baby's asleep. It'll work out fine don't worry and don't let yourself get too stressed about it.

 

[Shaz]

Yes - I am a TOTAL stress monkey!!!!

 

[smurf]

 

[budge]

aww shaz don't worry about it! believe me a dummy is better than a thumb anyday!!!
my eldest two had thumbs and they still suck them now and they look silly! at least you can take a dummy and throw it away.
They like sucking a dummy anyhow. Why feel guilty when you have given them something that gives them pleasure

 

[kelly'n'jack]

i felt guilty when i first gave jack a dummy and was stressing over how soon i should take it away! i tryed to limit his use of it for a few days and he got so upset so i just thought if it settles him then why take it away! like you i spent 2 weeeks whith my finger in his mouth all night! i think they are fantastic and so many children have them! they are better than thumbs and i think aslong as you only use to help them sleep or as a comfort when ill and you dont let them use it when they are older and talking or happy there is nothing to feel guilty about!!

 

[Urchin]

I wouldn't worry about it

I would only ever get worried when they are waking in the night crying for it, which has happened to a couple of my friends. It sounds like it'll work wonders for his settling

 

[Shaz]

Cheers girls!

Am I the only mum going on guilt trips?? Guilt trip over my milk never really coming in and stopping breast feeding, guilt trip over dummies......

You get such a lot of conflicting information and advice from all the pregnancy books - it's nice to come onto this forum and get some advice from ladies (and Gents sorry!) who are actually going through what you're going through!!!

Real advice from real people rather than silly cartoon people in the books!!

 

[mummykay]

Jamie uses me as a dummy, I would rather he had an actual dummy but he doesnt like the taste and wakes up again!!!

 

[Tasha20]

I wish Olivia would take a dummy somethimes but shes doesnt like them, she sucks her thumb abit but not for long so im not worried

 

[Alfiesmummy]

i felt so guilty when i first gave alfie a dummy and he liked it so much so that i took it off him and after a few days gave in and tried to give it back to him and he didnt take to it again, trust me iv cursed myself ever since!!!!!!!!!!

 

[nicki]

Sucking is a source of comfort for babies & its natural so I personally think its fine to let them suck on a dummy, I would rather that then see my little one crying his eyes out.
We were lucky with Jamie he had one & it really soothed him. When he was a few months old bit by bit I would take it away from him (at bedtime to begin with & he went off to sleep just fine without it) now he sucks on his two fingers, which is handy as he always has them with him!

As for info. from the so called experts, don't worry too much about it. You are the best person to know your babies needs & wants so go with your instincts. Everyone will always have different ideas & approaches to things, just find a way which suits you & baby.

Don't feel guilty about things (I know its hard, been there done it etc!) as long as you do your best then thats great.

 

[Miracle babe]

I think its when they are still sucking them after the age of 2 1/2 I think it becomes a problem. Morgaine had a dummy and loved it, Rowan's not so fussed which is a shame seeing as he's cried all day today.

 

[Urchin]

when i first gave alfie a dummy he liked it so much so that i took it off him

Sorry I had to laugh at that! I know what you mean but it just looks funny

 

[Jaidy]

Anything that makes your life easier and soothes your baby has got to be a blessing in my eyes!!

Zac loves his dummy

 

[Rubys mummy]

Ruby loves her dum dum too, she goes through stages of wanting it..she is a really sucky baby-she sucks her hands so the dummy really helped. I use it when she is totally knackered and trying to get her to sleep during day..she sucks it until she just drops off, then spits it out. She never falls asleep with it in her mouth

Dont feel guilty, if he likes it and enjoys it, its not a bad thing xx

 

[skatty]

Thank god for the dummy!! It was funny at the meet the other day all the babies starting crying as we left and we were all saying that dummies are a great invention! Leorah only has hers in the eveningand for naps and then when she spits it out that its for the night, she does love to lick a dummy like a cat while sitting in her pushchair though, looks strange and everyone pushes it back in her mouth for her but she just spits it out and starts to lick it again

 

[lozzi]

i felt guilty when i first gave them ellouise a dummy, but after 4 days of continuously being latched on or crying it seemed the only way,

i think certain circumstances require a dummy, babies are individuals, some will need some wont, dont feel guilty hun