Jokes

[Princess_Puddles]

A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to pronounce it - KISS-a-me; kis-A-me; kis-a-ME. They grew more perplexed as they drove into the town.

Since they were hungry, they pulled into a place to get something to eat. At the counter, the man said to the waitress:

"My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are and say it very slowly so that I can understand."

The waitress looked at him and said: "Buuurrrgerrr Kiiiinnnng."

 

[Princess_Puddles]

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
because they are plugged into a genius

2. WHY DON’T WOMEN BLINK DURING FOREPLAY?
they don’t have enough time

3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
they don’t stop to ask directions

4. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn

5. WHY DON’T WOMEN HAVE MEN’S BRAINS?
because they don’t have penises to put them in

6. WHAT DO ELECTRIC TRAINS AND BREASTS HAVE IN COMMON?
they’re intended for children, but men usually play with them

7. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
because their balls fall over their assholes and they vaporlock

8. WHY DO MEN MASTURBATE?
it is sex with someone they love

9. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
so they won’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties

10. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
you need a rough draft before you make a final copy

11. WHY IS A MAN’S PEE YELLOW AND HIS SPERM WHITE?
so he can tell if he’s coming or going

12. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
don’t know...... it never happened

 

[Emmylou]

Too true!

 

[sarah113]

they are so true!!!!

 

[Tara & Liam]

pmsl