more jokes

[Tara & Liam]

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
>>>--------------------------------
He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
>_______________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumour
____________________

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
..whoosh ...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
__________________________

A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love o forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray
for Strength, I'll beat him to death.

AMEN
________________________________

Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practising to be men.
__________________________________

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy.
________________________________

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
and calling your name.
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
_________________________________

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
___________________________________

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

_____________________________________

Q: What is the difference between men and women?

A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one
need.__________________________________

: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

 

[veryfluffybunny]

l like 'em Davina, get back at the men!! here's one:-

how do you know that a woman has a good sense of humour?

-she gets married.

l got that out of a woman's joke book of men. lf you have any more jokes, then please let me know, especially the men ones! lol!!

Fluffy. xx

 

[Jo]

XMAS JOKES"It's Christmas" shouts Jon to the girls in the accounts departmant.
" you all know what this means ....kisses under the mistletoe! who's first then?"
But the poor bloke is met by looks of disgust
" you might get more of a response Jon" says Sue, If you take the mistletoe out of youer belt!!"


There are three reasons why a christmas cracker is better than a man.....
1 A cracker is always good for a bang.

2 There is little or no effort in pulling a cracker.

3 you can throw a cracker away when you have finished with it

 

[pips]

What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?


.....................snowballs!!!