A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says, "I'll miss you..." >>>-------------------------------- He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. >_______________________ Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumour ____________________ A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... ..whoosh ...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! __________________________ A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love o forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN ________________________________ Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practising to be men. __________________________________ Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy. ________________________________ Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name. A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. _________________________________ Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts. ___________________________________ Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. _____________________________________ Q: What is the difference between men and women? A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.__________________________________ : How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"