IVF/ICSI with donor eggs

[Gabrysia]

Hello girls didn't really look on forum for a while. I didn't see post which mentions donor eggs and thought to start it, I know there is ivf thread but because of donor eggs bit I think I will start separate. I will be updating it as I go through the process , hopefully will help me emotionally to deal with it all and maybe in the future will provide info for other girls considering this route. Maybe there are other ladies who are going through it? It would be great to chat and exchange our experiences.
Short version of my journey so far: we've been trying for almost 3 yrs now. I did have coil and after was removed my periods never went back to normal, my cycle was around 35 to 55 days, did have more than one lh rise (as my body was trying to release egg and for some reason couldn't ) in the cycle. Most of the time didn't know when/if I've ovulated as I was getting confusing signals from my body. Last February/march I did have all the symptoms of menopause ( hot flashes are just nightmare) that was really emotionally draining, while Ttc I could feel that my body was giving up on ovulating. Couple of months ago I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure ie premature menopause - I'm just about to be 35 so you can imagine that was shock to learn , it's one thing to suspect Sth and other to hear it from your doctor. My FSH was 57 and my AMH 0.57. It felt like my world fell apart, like part of my died, I know it's sounds melodramatic but it really felt like someone took a part of me and I will never get it back. I cried a lot, I grieved like never before. It's difficult to describe how I felt, I don't wish it on any one, not on worst enemy. I'm still grieving but I feel in the same time ready for the next stage. Ivf with donor eggs. ATM looking into private UK and abroad, will see. I just want to be a mummy.
to all of us

 

[Blueflower]

I don't think you're melodramatic at all. It must be horrendous for you. Having children is something every woman imagines they will do and its devastating to find out that it might not happen.

We've just had IVF and the embryos didn't make it, possibly due to chromosomal issues. If my eggs aren't any good I might consider using donor eggs. I was quite opposed to it at first, thinking that I'd rather adopt than have a child that was half my husbands and half someone else's. But I was reading an article in Fertility Road in our clinic about donor eggs and apparently the baby can also take on characteristics of the mother who's womb it grows in. I don't know how but I want to do more research.

Have you made any appointments yet?

 

[lisey]

Hiya,

I have just been diagnosed with reduced ovarian reserve at only 31 and there is a possibility of needing IVF for us, we have 3 months of trying naturally until we go ahead and make plans. We will try with my eggs but if that doesn't work, I have it in my mind that I would be willing to try with donor eggs. How are you doing with researching clinics, what kinds of prices are you finding for donor egg cycles if you don't mind me asking? I am assuming its quite a lot? xx

 

[Gabrysia]

Hi Lisey and Blueflower, thank you for your messages. wishes of lots lots of
I know that issue of ivf with donor eggs is sensitive one, it's a last chapter in all the fertility books we skip thinking that's not for me. When I was told that this is the only way I can get pg I was devastated but I knew than that this will be the route we will take. My dh was and still is very supportive, I don't know how I could coupe without him and he was happy to wait till I felt ready for it. I think it's thanks to support of our friends and family I didn't really need that much time. I feel ready, sometimes on good day even excited I still feel hurt and disappointed in same time. I have therapist appointment next week and hopefully she will help me with all these mixed emotions.
We're looking into Cyprus clinic as that's the one our consultant recommends, I read lots positive opinions on it but still didn't make any obligations, have a visit on 31 July with private consultant and will go from there. Cost of it is horrendous, treatment itself is about 7 K plus cost of 1 trip to Cyprus for both of us and staying there for about a week, we're expecting it to add up to about 10k.
At first I was keen on Hewitt centre (Liverpool women's hospital) but sine I've learned that in uk you don't get all the eggs from the donor (they're sheared between two recipients) and you don't own them, therefore if ivf is successful there is no chance of siblings coming from same eggs. I think there is enough of the mix and hope to have both my children from same donor, I say hope as I realise that freezing eggs for later treatment doesn't give us guarantee of the success but gives us a fair chance, or we will be able to ask for same donor (if she is still with the clinic). So much to think, consider and decide.
Wish it was all easier

for us all xxx

 

[Gabrysia]

I read Sth about chromosome crossover, that at the end it's about 20% of the donor input but that was on on other forum so I don't know how reliable this info is. I read once an article, comparing ivf with donor eggs to building your own house. If you ask an architect to draw plan for your house but you build all the foundations, walls, you put the roof,plaster walls and decorate your house, who's house this is yours or the architects? I believe this baby will be mine. Xxx

 

[Blueflower]

Yes I read that too. Its a good way to look at it.

 

[lisey]

Hi Lisey and Blueflower, thank you for your messages. wishes of lots lots of
I know that issue of ivf with donor eggs is sensitive one, it's a last chapter in all the fertility books we skip thinking that's not for me. When I was told that this is the only way I can get pg I was devastated but I knew than that this will be the route we will take. My dh was and still is very supportive, I don't know how I could coupe without him and he was happy to wait till I felt ready for it. I think it's thanks to support of our friends and family I didn't really need that much time. I feel ready, sometimes on good day even excited I still feel hurt and disappointed in same time. I have therapist appointment next week and hopefully she will help me with all these mixed emotions.
We're looking into Cyprus clinic as that's the one our consultant recommends, I read lots positive opinions on it but still didn't make any obligations, have a visit on 31 July with private consultant and will go from there. Cost of it is horrendous, treatment itself is about 7 K plus cost of 1 trip to Cyprus for both of us and staying there for about a week, we're expecting it to add up to about 10k.
At first I was keen on Hewitt centre (Liverpool women's hospital) but sine I've learned that in uk you don't get all the eggs from the donor (they're sheared between two recipients) and you don't own them, therefore if ivf is successful there is no chance of siblings coming from same eggs. I think there is enough of the mix and hope to have both my children from same donor, I say hope as I realise that freezing eggs for later treatment doesn't give us guarantee of the success but gives us a fair chance, or we will be able to ask for same donor (if she is still with the clinic). So much to think, consider and decide.
Wish it was all easier

for us all xxx

That's interesting to know about the eggs being shared, I would also want the option of siblings in the future. It does sound so expensive, its worrying really as I just hope we will find the money if it comes to that.
Do you know the laws on the information shared about the egg donor in cyprus once the child reaches 18? I wonder if its different to here?
I love that idea from the article, its a really lovely way to look at it, the baby would absolutely be yours xx

 

[Gabrysia]

Lisey it's different in Cyprus, it's all anonymous so there will be no information when they are 18, I think that's the only minus I can see for going abroad. I would like for my children to have this option. In this same time it's not like adoption when women carries baby, she will give us her egg, that's all. I'm already feeling sting of jealous thinking that my baby would like to meet her. As I said before I really wish all of this was easier.
I hope you won't have to go down this route, wish you very very sticky bean next time

Xxx

 

[Blueflower]

I'm thinking that even if you don't get all the eggs in this country, because they should be better quality, there should still be loads of good ones to use, say you only get 6, that's still 1 or 2 for transfer and 4 spare for freezing. With our own eggs we might produce between 10 and 20 but only 1 of them might be any good.

 

[Tigger79]

I was just reading through all the comments with interest as we're about to start ICSI and will be egg sharing as I think it would be lovely to be able to help someone else to have their take home babies too. xxx

 

[Gabrysia]

I've been feeling really down lately, feels like depression is creeping on me. Good days are rare. It's just feels all of this is such emotional workout, on daily basis I have symptoms of menopause ie hot flushes, really puts me down as it's constant reminder of my diagnosis.
Did have my therapy over a week ago and feels like opening a wound which I thought was slowly healing. I was to start writing my journal, do regular walks and I'm doing none if it, my therapist will not be happy with me. Don't think she will recognise this post as journal
I think I should move this journal section but I'm hoping that once I will start going through all the procedure this will became more of info provider to anyone who is looking into donor eggs and to view journal you have to be logged in as member so it will limit the aces
Our visit with consultant is next Saturday as I did cancel 31 st July my oh was away so soon will have more info about the process - time to start writing down my questions.

 

[lisey]

Sorry you have been feeling down. Its so hard to go through all of this. I suffer with depression and anxiety and have done for years. I am not on medication anymore and there are days when I can feel it creeping up on me in a bad way. I have been having a hard time recently but I find my acupuncture really helps.
I hope that knowing you have a plan coming soon will help you to feel better and a little more in control of the situation xx

 

[Blueflower]

I would definitely start a journal in the journal section. Its really helpful to write down what you are feeling and get feedback, which you don't get with a normal diary. Hope you feel a bit better soon, must be so horrible. X x

 

[dobidi]

Cyprus is great for egg donation due to liberal regulations. Clinics in Cyprus have more donation than normal IVF as people travel all over the world for this. You should check out clinics contact them and decide for yourself. I heard good things about Dunya IVF there

 

[miamia]

I can recommend ivf clinics in Poland. I know a few ladies who have undergone ivf de in Gdansk. One-week waiting list, excellent service at reasonable prices. They paid a fraction of what they would pay in the UK.