Ive had enough

[Jadey_404]

Hi everyone,

Ive come to talk to you ladies for some support. 3 of my best friends have had babys in the last 7 months and its just upsetting me really bad. My friend sam had a lilly on the 21 December and i cant even drag myself out to go and visit her. (i havent seen her yet) Nobody knows how i feel apart from my OH. its driving him mad seeing me upset. We have been TTC since April and i know there is something not right. Im worrying because my mum had 11 miscarrages before she had me. Please will someone help me be happy.

I bet i sound so stupid

sorry

 

[Lou]

Hiya

It took us a year of ttc before I fell pg with Isaac and I too have a history of mc in my family. I think the average couple take a year to concieve. I had almost given up and its a cliche I know but honestly when we relaxed and thought about giving up thats when it happened for us. Try to stay positive and optimistic

 

[melissa5317]

Hi sweetie. I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this, but believe me, I think the majority of women in this section of PF can DEFINITELY empathize with you! It's incredibly hard to watch everyone around you having successful pregnancies and healthy babies when you're having trouble. I burst into tears a few days ago when I was told that one of my husband's friends and his wife, who just got married in April, are expecting. I feel like it's not fair that my husband and I have been married for 4 and a half years and the only pregnancy we've been able to achieve ended in heartbreak, and that only a few months ago. The thing that's helping me and I know helps a lot of other women on here is trying to do something about it, taking an active step in trying to have a better chance of conceiving. I have been diagnosed with PCOS and go to a regular doctor and a holistic doctor as well as receiving reflexology treatments and taking special supplements to help my body work naturally.

Have you been to see a doctor (regular or otherwise) about ttc? It would be important for a medical professional to know about your mother's history with m/c because that sort of thing can be hereditary, but it can also be fixed with the right nutrition and/or herbal supplements as well as exercise. Also (and some will say I sound like a broken record on this point), I highly recommend charting if you don't already as it will give you a great picture of what your body is doing or not doing. Many here will recommend 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility' by Toni Weschler as a great starting point.

Please don't feel disheartened, and you've definitely come to the right place. You'll find lots of support and listening ears (well, eyes ) here.

 

[Jadey_404]

Thanks girls,

To be honest im a bit to scared to go to the doctors, im afraid he wont listen or help me as im only 20. What if he says im to young and have plenty of time to worry about things like that.

 

[melissa5317]

If he says that, find another doctor. A doc's job is not to be a parent or a psychologist, their job is to pay attention to your body's health. I highly doubt that the doc will say that - 20 is plenty old enough to know what you want! He will want to know how long you've been trying already, though, and from what I understand, the NHS don't want to know until you've been trying for 18 months (correct me if I'm wrong, ladies). I myself have preferred to go the holistic/homeopathic route. I hadn't had a period in over a year and didn't want to be put on any more prescription drugs. I still have long cycles, but I've been having regular periods for over a year and have gotten pregnant once.

If you really don't want to go to the doc and you don't mind me making some suggestions, start drinking loads of water (I just keep a 2 litre bottle at my desk at work and drink from it throughout the day), cut out caffeine and sugar, make sure you're taking a GOOD multivitamin (not necessarily one you can just pick up at boots - get one from a health store), get your oh to start taking one too (or at least some zinc for the little swimmers), and generally just take care of yourself.

I really hope you're able to have a successful pregnancy soon!

 

[HannahD]

I know exactly how you feel hun. We were trying for 20months before I finally fell pregnant but unfortunately 6 weeks later it all ended for us. We're still trying tho.

I agree with Melissa, definitely try charting to figure out when you ovulate in your cycles. I hadn't bothered doing that before but in the 2nd month of just using the ovulation kits we finally did it at the right time!! It really helped figuring out my cycles and what my body was doing ~ but be warned, you will probably turn into a poas addict like the rest of us within a few weeks!

Go and have a chat with your gp. They can initially do a 21day hormone test to make sure you do actually ovulate and then you'll know one way or the other and then you can be referred onto a specialist if you need to be.

Don't loose faith tho sweetie. It does seem that the world and his wife are pregnant when you want to be ~ i'd never noticed people with children before we started all this baby nonsense! I'm sure your time will come soon and it's very normal for women to take over a year before they get anywhere.

 

[sam27]

i dont think i can match the wise words that have already been said but i just want to say hang in there. its understandable that you feel the way you do about others getting bfp's but fx that it will be you soon

do go and try and see your friend, the last thing you want to do is shut yourself off and she will be wondering why you have not seen her xxxx

 

[Lou]

What really helped me too and might work for you was doing ovulating tests every month. I know its more tests and you are sick of them but I found it comforting knowing that I was ovulating and also its a little boost every month to have a test come up positive (sounds silly but it really made me feel good) and also it lets you pin point the right time to actually TTC each month. I think any doctor will tell you that you need to be TTC for a year before they will investigate unless you want to go private. I might be wrong though but thats my knowledge of TTC from when I was taking a long time to fall pregnant.

I know its not much consolation when you feel crappy but thought it might help

 

[jemz24]

hi there,
ive been where u are so i know wot youre going through. It took me almost 2 yrs to finally have a baby on the way. In bout a year thru i went to docs who referred me to fertility clinic whilst just starting tests etc i fell pregnant but unfortunatly ended in m/c, then i fell pregnant again but started bleeding as soon as i found out.
I got to sick and tired of pregnancy ruling over my life i gave up as i felt disconnected from my OH too. So we became a couple again and i fell pregnant so far so good. (i was also diagnosed with pcos)

I think our bodies do strange things when your stressed that it blocks us from getting pregnant etc. Try a relaxed approch. Im sure it will happen for you, don't worry bout other ppl getting pregnant just look forward to the day when you announce your own bundle of joy

 

[S_Calla]

Hi,
We had been trying for over a year before going to my docs, the process of getting all the tests done seems to take forever (1 yr so far) so if you have been trying for a little while then it is best to get yourself checked out and even if you do get pregnant in the mean time you've not lost anything. I was told at the beginning of Dec that my tubes were blocked after having a laparoscopy, once i heard that i totally forgot about getting pregnant as i thought it would never happen to me naturally, then i found out i was 5 weeks but unfortunately having a m/c. I think you can also put too much pressure on yourself to get pregnant which is waht both me and my hubby felt.
xx

 

[trixipaws]

I think any doctor will tell you that you need to be TTC for a year before they will investigate unless you want to go private.

if it was me, i would lie about how long i'd been trying!

 

[buddabun]

I think any doctor will tell you that you need to be TTC for a year before they will investigate unless you want to go private.

if it was me, i would lie about how long i'd been trying!

ditto. I've already told our doctor I've had 3 m/cs when I've only had 2 (I said "I didn't realise it at the time but looking back it probably was one"). She still needs to get in touch with me about tests.

I know just what you mean. One of my friends had her 4th a month ago, another back in Feb who is now expecting another baby. one who didn't even love his girlfriend of one month and had his last week. Plus someone over here is just flaunting it everywhere (she had a m/c at 5 months so I suppose she's entitled) but it's just in your face everywhere. It turns me into someone I don't like. I am jealous. I wish they weren't pregnant. I don't quite wish what I've been through on them but I'm almost at that stage. I hate myself for feeling like this.

Just know that one day it will happen for you and as people say, you've just got to stop caring for it to happen (the month when we had our gorgeous pet die after a long drawn out illness, coupled with a testicular cancer scare for hubby was the month we weren't even thinking about it and it happened. Ended in tears of course but it still happened). It's THE most irritating thing people can say but sadly it seems to have some truth in it.

Just know that pretty much everyone on here feels the same as you (or has done in the past, if they are lucky enough to be pregnant ) - it's not unusual and you are well placed to vent about it here.

 

[MrsU]

I can totally understand where your coming from too, in fact you've helped me feel normal!! So

I've been in tears too over crimbo, 2 of my close friend, yep 2! Have had pregnancy scares, & both came running to me as I have the stash of tests & with tcc think I'm some kind of pregnancy guru (I've never even been pregnant though! )

I act like i doesn't bother me, but it does! My sis in law, who I've just got a job at where I work (2months ago), & she has just started a 3yr degree (that work are paying for & you need for the job) , who also may be having to rent their house out (before its repo’d) & move in with the mugs that DH & I are (so they can save & pay some of their debts off), had chosen now to come off contraception as she felt like letting her system have a break, and carrying bding without protection!!! Then comes whinging to me that she could be pregnant??!! Hello, what did she expect?!? She 30 btw not 16! Anyhow it turns out it was a false alarm but not till crying that it would ruin her life & she couldn’t possibly keep it, it hurt so much. Just so irresponsible it makes my blood boil

Second pal, has just today cleared me out of tests! Still bfn, but still no af. Shes not in a relationship, doesn't want kids ever & has already said its ok if I am, I can just go to a private clinic & get a tablet up till 12weeks for £450, that does the job! She doesn't mind paying as she couldn't face the shame of going to her doc's asking for another abortion. I mean WTF, how insensitive!!

I know I sound bitter & twisted ( I probably am), but I agree that everyone should do whats best in life for themselves & make their own decision & i'll always try & stand by anyone.
But I just wish they had a bit more tact I guess.... Better still while i'm tcc just cut me out of the loop, I dont want to know

I just want to be pregnant & I guess I’m just jealous that they could be & don’t want it

SO SORRY, for my rant on your page… But, thanks for letting me vent my spleen too, I do feel so much better now xxx