I've Had Enough This Week.... :(

[DebbieM]

Luke has been quite intolerable this week. I have felt at breaking point several times. I ended up shouting at him Thursday night, then shouting at Matt and then again yesterday afternoon because he wouldn't stop

He seems really unsettled. I don't know what it is. He doesn't seem to be teething although I know they can be crappy before you even see any. I'm not sure he needs weaning as he seems satisfied after a feed for a little while. He is wanting to feed more, especially at night though but I don't know if it is more of a thirst quenching feed he needs because of the heat.

I'm seriously hoping he doesn't need to be weaned because my goal was to get to 6 months exclusively BFing him. I know that if he NEEDS it before then that I will have to and I'm not selfish and wouldn't let him starve but I would be disappointed if it was to happen now. Is that stupid?

Half the time I don't know what to do with him right now. I don't get a minute to myself during the day and he is being very demanding. Doesn't really sleep during the day and now we are back to him being in bed with us at night. We haven't done that in about 2 months and I feel we are going backwards instead of forwards with sleeping and the screaming (Luke has a horrible scream, you wouldn't believe it unless you heard it. I'm sure it's abnormal. Ask Gemma!)

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice? I can't take any more days like this. I honestly think I will snap. Yesterday I ended up turning the CD on in the car (Bon Jovi) and blasting it so loud it probably made the car shake... although, it did drown him out and he stopped. Feel crap for doing it but I didn't know what else to do and I can't concentrate to drive when I feel that stressed.

When we play with him he is so happy and it's brilliant. He smiles, coos and is just great fun, but it can be short lived or as soon as you have to leave him for a second he starts again.

So... is it the heat? I know loads of people have said the same about their babies being unsettled in this weather. Will it pass and will we get back to normal? Does he need weaning? (Please say no to that one)

 

[xkikix]

I really do think it is the heat hun, we're kinda going thru the same thing

Just the past 5 days or so my LO has gotten really clingy, then cranky cus he's too hot for cuddles. Oh and my LO has started coming in bed with us at 5am as well, he was going 8pm-8am ish but now he's needing an extra feed at 5am as well. Can Matt take him out for a couple of hours to give you some piece and maybe a little sleep as well? But then I suppose its difficult with it being hot cus mine gets cranky in the sun and I worry about sunburn etc xxx

Dont know about weaning hun but like you i'm hoping not to start that til 6 months as well, not BF tho, just want his insides to mature.

Maybe a growth spurt? xxx

Lol just read that back and I apologise for the rambling xxxxx

 

[DebbieM]

It's been a few days Mids. It co-incided with the hot weather which is why I'm thinking it could well be that. I've heard the 4 month spurt is a bad one too.

I REALLY hope he doesn't need weaning. I have to be 100% honest and say I would be devastated. I know it sounds stupid but I set a goal and I want to reach it. Perhaps Valentine will be one who can understand this with what's happened with her and her DD recently?

He is ok on his own at times. We show him lots and we do entertain him a lot too. We let him see and touch all the time. I wouldn't call him "needy" but he is VERY inquisitive and so many people have, since birth, commented on how alert he is. I think he is just one of "those" babies.

It's just so hard. At night I feel like he is stuck to me. I don't mind but I don't get a good sleep and then when I go to move him off me, whether it be in the bed or his own cot, he starts all over again.

My tether is nearing it's end LOL

 

[DebbieM]

oh thought I would add that babies are like this you think you get a routine or getting somewhere and everything will just change its a nightmare.. Its soo hard having a super demanding baby but its just coz they are intelligent you know ..i know exactly what you mean about no time to yourself since seed born I still havent had my hair done had a relaxing bath ..chilled with mates its constant seed all day all night.. lol..but I know things will get easier no when soon but it will ..chin up deb..xxx

I think that is a massive part of it. We felt like we were getting into a bit of a routine and he was sleeping better - even though still feeding every 2- 2/12 hours but that I can cope with as he only feeds for 5-15 mins at a time, most of the time. Now it kind of feels like we are back at 2 months. I even had sore nips from him last week and was like WTF! They're better now though! That's one thing I guess!

 

[DebbieM]

I really do think it is the heat hun, we're kinda going thru the same thing

Just the past 5 days or so my LO has gotten really clingy, then cranky cus he's too hot for cuddles. Oh and my LO has started coming in bed with us at 5am as well, he was going 8pm-8am ish but now he's needing an extra feed at 5am as well. Can Matt take him out for a couple of hours to give you some piece and maybe a little sleep as well? But then I suppose its difficult with it being hot cus mine gets cranky in the sun and I worry about sunburn etc xxx

Dont know about weaning hun but like you i'm hoping not to start that til 6 months as well, not BF tho, just want his insides to mature.

Maybe a growth spurt? xxx

Lol just read that back and I apologise for the rambling xxxxx

Don't worry - I didn't see it as rambling!

It's kind of nice to know that others are going through the same thing, if you know what I mean... not that I am pleased you're having a crappy time LOL.

Nappy off time seems to be a very good thing whilst it's hot. One thing to try if you don't already. Luke loves it!

 

[Squiglet]

nah the waking in the night is to have a drink cos its hot...lil miss started doing that around June time... and when she was ill last week with a temp and urine infection, she just booby fed all night cos she was thirsty. You'll know if he needs more food... he will feed from both boobs at every feed come off and scream for more.... If he's happy with just the one then its not weaning.

The grumpiness is down to him have a growing mind but his body hasn't caught up yet... He can see all the fun things he wants to play with, see, examine, pop in his mouth... but he hasn't got the physical capacity to do it... and while you are great fun for a while....lets face it... we are pretty crap mind readers... You probably aren't picking up the correct toy...

I try to get lil miss out the house at least once a day... even in our 40ºc heat, because she gets bored of the house and I find shes far more manageable if she has had a trip out. But tbh shes been reasonably demanding from day one although now she can sign a few words shes much better, as she can tell me what she wants... mind shes a second baby and sometimes, while I'm dealing with Tia she is just left to cry for a while if shes just being silly or popped in the sling and carried around and ignored... Never done her any harm...

 

[minxie]

I found that a tepid bath really helps Jacob in this heat and settles him if he has an afternoon outburst - might help in ur situation?

 

[DebbieM]

Thanks Mids, that's what I hoped you'd say

 

[debecca]

Awww hun glad Midna had some good advice for you.

I really hope everything settles down for Luke soon. I'm sure it IS the weather though, Connie's been a bit unsettled too! xx

 

[valentine]

Hi Debbie,

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time.

Luke definitely sounds like he's got a case of the 4 month fuss! Unless he seems STARVING to you (and it doesn't sound like he is), then I'd hold off on weaning him now. Breastfeeding is so much easier than having to cart round spoons, bibs, facecloths, tubs of food, yoghurts, fruit etc everywhere you go! I still can't believe how much faff it all is! It just sounds like he's thirsty and hot and wanting to find out more about the world (hence the fussing). I remember midna posting when she was at your stage and (as she says above), she was so glad she's waited to wean.

I definitely understand about waiting til 6 months until weaning, this is what we did too and went mainly down the BLW route which was (and still is) great fun. Its great to let their tummies mature and wait til they are developmentally ready for finger and mashy foods.

We used New Era teething tablets or Ashtons and Parsons teething powders when DD was that age, I'm sure she was teething, even though she didn't get any teeth until she was 9/10 months - they settled her.

In terms of keeping your own sanity, can you go out and about a bit more this week - maybe to some baby groups or go round the shops or for lots of walks and meeting up with friends etc as it sounds like he is being hard work and its getting you down. Or (and you probably won't like this suggestion, I wouldn't have at your stage) - can you stick Luke in front of the TV for 30 mins to allow you to get a little bit of peace/cup of tea/make a phone call etc etc - I know it would be a bad habit to get into, but doing it once or twice to preserve your sanity does NOT make you a bad Mum. DD didn't watch any TV until 9/10 months (except for what I was watching!) then I realised that children's TV is educational and she LOVES it - she watches In the Night Garden once a day now and is learning loads from it. TV is not always the devil (just saying this 'cos I was really snobby about DD watching TV and now she does!).

I shouted at DD once and felt AWFUL - I've never done it since as she just didn't deserve it. I know exactly how you felt.

to you Debbie, I'd put money on last week being a bad week and it all getting better from here.

Love

Valentine Xxx

 

[Nicola g]

Dafydd is going through the exact thing! It must be the age thing. I think with Dafydd tho he has the runs so that has unsettled him as im trying to give him a lot of nappy off time for his bum to breathe but he wants to be held

He loves it when we are walking round but as soon as i go and sit he starts lol as tho he knows! It's hard isnt it but they grow out of it just another way at testing us.

Im lucky tho that he does still sleep all night, so im getting a good night sleep, he doesnt sleep in the day tho for longer than half hour unless i go for a walk.

If i need to get things done in the kitchen i put him in the highchair next to me and just keep talking and singing to him

you'll get through it oh and the screeching Dafydd has a funny one too

 

[charlie84]

Calleigh is going through a fussy stage at the mo also. And she is starting to wake in the night for feeds when she used to go through. Wanting undivided attention throughout the day, not to bad this week as OH is off on holiday but he goes back next week so its just me again.
Just like midna has said we are also finding ourselves walking around the flat showing her things but as soon as we sit down she starts crying.
I dont think the heat helps our little ones at all. Calleigh is hating it and because we live in a flat it gets so warm. Today we took her out to the park and sat under the trees on a blanket. We took all her toys with us too. She loved it
Watching the trees and the people and the fresh breeze certainly helped her.

Have just settled her down in the cot after having a mammoth one and 1/2 hour feed Havent had to do that for quite a while she is usually done within half an hour with her bedtime feed.
If tonight goes anything like the few previous nights have been she will be waking at 12ish then again at around 4 then 7. When she had previously been going through till 7.30am.
It has certainly come as a shock to me having to get up again in the night. I am so tired

 

[clarey]

Hey Debs you are definately not alone, you could be describing Eva, my Mum has been here this week so we have got out and about a bit otherwise I would have gone mad too. She is super grumpy and unsettled and just seems frustrated all the time unless I am playing/bouncing/singing/chatting/dancing/feeding her. And today she has screamed at her poor Grandad like he was pulling her arm off and all he did was say hello
Hang in there hun, it sounds like it will pass. Have you tried swimming with Luke? Or a deep bath with you so he can have a good kick about? We took Eva on Wednesday, she has swim lessons anyway so she is used to it but she had a lovely time and was so chilled out after, and so was I lol.
We also sometimes just lay in the shade in the garden together and have a little doze, its lovely, great excuse to do nothing!

 

[DebbieM]

Luke and I go out at least once a day every day.

Last week we went to town a couple of times, baby massage, baby cafe, to a friends, walked round the local nature reserve and then went to the coast. He has deep baths and loves them. I feel I'm doing everything I can for him but no matter what I do, it is never enough right now.

I have stuck him in his bouncer in front of the TV just a few times. I don't think of it as an issue as right now he has no idea what it is and is more fascinated with the sounds and colours. It doesn't really entertain him though and especially if he knows I've left the room. The only thing he does seem to like, albeit for 10-15 minutes at a time is his Jumperoo. He gets stroppy after that long though and wants out.

Tonight we have had nappy off time, then a nice deep bath, fed, and then tried to settle him in his bouncer. I ended up eating dinner with him in my arms which I used to do every night a couple of months ago. He was screaming so much that I took him into the garden and he stopped more or less immediately. Next door are having a BBQ/party and have their music on fairly loudly tonight and although all this was going on, he was able to feed from me in the garden and then fall asleep for about 45 minutes or so, even though the music is blaring and the guests are loud. As soon as I handed him to Matt and came inside for 2 minutes, he was screaming again.

We're now in bed. I've just fed him again and he is asleep on me. I'm going to TRY and put him in his cot but I know for a fact he will wake up and scream again and he will end up in bed with us - a bad idea I know - BUT, I need some sleep or I'm going to lose my mind.

He almost just had me in tears a few minutes ago because I brought him up to feed and settle him and offered him a feed and he just screamed and screamed and I got really stressed out. As soon as I offered the other side he settled and is now zonked.

4 month growth spurt? Hurry up and be OVER. I want my happy, sleeps in his own cot, mostly settled boy back!!!

 

[DebbieM]

And here is the Angelic looking little boy that is causing me all this stress... hard to believe isn't it!

(This is him right at this minute)

 

[littlepip]

Sounds EXACTLY like ryan at the moment. He doesnt seem to be drinking much but hes drinking about an ounce every few hours. I got stressy at him today as i was sweating like a pig and had to bring 2 shopping bags and a changing bag and ryan up 2 flights of stairs and try and open my stupid front door, the key scratched my mouth as i was trying to get the right one to put in the door, ryan was having a grump and i went to lay him on my bed and stubbed my toe! I got a bit annoyed lol i just seem to be really tired lately too i dunno weather anyone else has to?? didnt know weather it was to do with the weather.
Im sure luke will get better soon. I think we all have our off days or weeks including our babies! And this weather doesnt help.. i hate it!!

 

[littlepip]

I have stuck him in his bouncer in front of the TV just a few times. I don't think of it as an issue as right now he has no idea what it is and is more fascinated with the sounds and colours.

I do that to while i eat my dinner otherwise id never get a break!!! He loves the simpsons as its brightly coloured so i always have my dinner then.

 

[budge]

Luke has been quite intolerable this week. I have felt at breaking point several times. I ended up shouting at him Thursday night, then shouting at Matt and then again yesterday afternoon because he wouldn't stop

He seems really unsettled. I don't know what it is. He doesn't seem to be teething although I know they can be crappy before you even see any. I'm not sure he needs weaning as he seems satisfied after a feed for a little while. He is wanting to feed more, especially at night though but I don't know if it is more of a thirst quenching feed he needs because of the heat.

I'm seriously hoping he doesn't need to be weaned because my goal was to get to 6 months exclusively BFing him. I know that if he NEEDS it before then that I will have to and I'm not selfish and wouldn't let him starve but I would be disappointed if it was to happen now. Is that stupid?

Half the time I don't know what to do with him right now. I don't get a minute to myself during the day and he is being very demanding. Doesn't really sleep during the day and now we are back to him being in bed with us at night. We haven't done that in about 2 months and I feel we are going backwards instead of forwards with sleeping and the screaming (Luke has a horrible scream, you wouldn't believe it unless you heard it. I'm sure it's abnormal. Ask Gemma!)

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice? I can't take any more days like this. I honestly think I will snap. Yesterday I ended up turning the CD on in the car (Bon Jovi) and blasting it so loud it probably made the car shake... although, it did drown him out and he stopped. Feel crap for doing it but I didn't know what else to do and I can't concentrate to drive when I feel that stressed.

When we play with him he is so happy and it's brilliant. He smiles, coos and is just great fun, but it can be short lived or as soon as you have to leave him for a second he starts again.

So... is it the heat? I know loads of people have said the same about their babies being unsettled in this weather. Will it pass and will we get back to normal? Does he need weaning? (Please say no to that one)

goodness me. why they say to wait till 6 months to wean is so maddening.
Try him with a bit of solid food. He may need it. all babies are individuals. All need solids at different times.
Why get yourself and him to the point where you can't cope and hes most likely starving for proper grub.

 

[DebbieM]

What makes you think he is starving?

 

[valentine]

budge, he certainly doesn't sound hungry to me?