I've buggered up!

[pinkyprincess]

I went and got Tyler weighed today and he's perfect. 14lb 5 dead on 75th line. While I was there I spoke to a HV who I found hugely dismissive seeing as I'd waited an hour as she talked someone though their bf problems.

I asked her for tips about getting him to feed from a bottle and I told her I've tried numerous bottles and cups and she said nothing just 'make sure you get some you time' sorry? How can I do that if he won't take anything?

Then I asked her about what the doctor said to me about Tyler feeding a lot and she looked really shocked at me (like I was the worst person in the world) and said he was. She told me to put him off 15 mins and make it longer and longer so he can learn when he has an empty tummy and to use my knuckle to soothe him. Which I'm going to try but that means I'm back to not being able to do anything all day! She spoke to me for 5-10 mins and that was it, she started talking to someone else! I walked out and wanted to cry.

I've actually brought dummy's, I HATE dummy's and the couple of times I've tried him on them he hasn't really taken them and I just look at him and want to cry as I think they look horrible! Got a new teet to try today!

Just feel like crap as I thought we were doing so well but obviously not!

 

[pinkyprincess]

I made him wait an hour and 20 mins and he was crying real tears as was I! Poor mite!

 

[Jaxx01]

She sounds lovely NOT!! Such a shame to not get the support when you really need it

It is tough but he has probably got into the rountine now and will be hard on you as babies can be determined and know what they want!! lol

Dummys arent always bad...they may look horrible but they do provide some well needed comfort for baby. My midwife in hospital with Alfie suggested to me to use a dummy as he was permanently attached.

One thing your HV is right on is that once this is sorted, you have to make sure you get some you time you deserve it hun xxx

 

[jojo_2012]

What a useless cow she should have at least given you the same amount of time as the other person and made sure you were satisfied.

We only use dummys because they were forced on him in NICU I've always hated them. Mainly we used them on car journeys or out shopping, not always convenient to whip out a tit. If we didn't use them Lewis would be screaming the place down for food they definitely keep them satisfied for a little while longer, much better than trying other ways to stretch it out.

We use the advent ones, tried the tommee tippee ones but they were shit however he will drink from a tomee tippee bottle. It's very hard work for him now so he won't take much at all maybe 1oz.

 

[pinkyprincess]

I've tried the dummy's and they work if I hold them in he doesn't quite get it yet!

He is going slightly longer since i've been encouraging him! Still get tears. Think this is gonna be a LONG week.

 

[Saisb]

Hey, have you tried the medela calma teet? It's meant to be the closest teet like the breast. My lo had it and she took it no problem. Might be worth giving a go? Sorry the HV was rubbish!
X

 

[Maria1977]

She sounds like a complete moron PP, I wouldn't take any advice from her lol

There's nothing wrong with your LOs feeding routine at all, he will start going longer, around 3 months old Oz got longer between feeds, 4 months was longer still and 6 months went down to 3 feeds a day!

 

[Sarah13]

I do wonder about HV sometimes mine was quite anti blw for some reason and said she doesn't recommend it the other day, i will be ignoring her of course!
Kynon is the same as Tyler starting to think its a boy thing! Not really got any advice otherwise i wouldn't be in the same position, all I remember is its not forever and they grow up far too quickly, Ill be wishing this time back again in a few months time!

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk

 

[GregorysGirl]

it sound like we r both conducting ' operation make baby gO longer stretches'... i tried alsorts yday distract austin n it worked ....IN THE DAY...although at night (right now)....theres noway ive got the energy to b boyncin n jugglin n.distractin him...its jyst 1-cry...2-on boob 3- silence....lol. but happy for my 3hrs early after his 40min feed.
xxx

 

[pinkyprincess]

I've spent the last few days stretching him by 15 mins, as my OH and I agreed we'd try it for a week and see what happens and he really gets upset (and he's nit much of a crier) and I feel terrible! I'm torn because the HV is a 'professional' but I think it is slightly cruel, but 15 mins more isn't much longer surely?
My OH isn't helping as he sits and tuts or shakes his head, and when I tell him he's not helping he says 'what? The baby can't see me' que me slapping my forehead!

On a slightly brighter note I managed to dream feed about half an oz last night using a bottle, I know it's not much but it's a start?

 

[Maria1977]

I've spent the last few days stretching him by 15 mins, as my OH and I agreed we'd try it for a week and see what happens and he really gets upset (and he's nit much of a crier) and I feel terrible! I'm torn because the HV is a 'professional' but I think it is slightly cruel, but 15 mins more isn't much longer surely?
My OH isn't helping as he sits and tuts or shakes his head, and when I tell him he's not helping he says 'what? The baby can't see me' que me slapping my forehead!

On a slightly brighter note I managed to dream feed about half an oz last night using a bottle, I know it's not much but it's a start?

HVs are professional, but every baby is different. Feeding is something they can only advise on and use guidelines. Parents have to take cue from baby. I remember an HV asking me when Oz was about 3 months old if he was sleeping through the night and I said no he still feeds during the night, and her face was like OMFG there is something wrong with your baby. She was telling me to get him to sleep through and I just thought fuck you! I would LOVE my baby to sleep through but he doesn't and I can't force him, he'll do it when he's ready. Unfortunately, he didn't sleep through properly until 1 years old, but then we coslept and I BF until 1 years old so stopping those things when he was ready was right for us.

Honestly, what one HV will tell you another will not agree with, and most of them are fairly non-committal about their own advice too!!

Trust your instincts and you'll be fine xxxx

 

[toscacat]

I am sorry you are not getting the support. I am a nicu nurse and help with feeding all the time. I don't want to confuse you as u have had enough people doing that lately with the gp and hv! I will share what I know and you can decide if it fits with your Lo. Babies feed frequently to get more milk. In the early days its a supply and demand system the more they feed in theory the more milk the body produces. Then about day 4 your breasts feel full and the milk is through the feeding then spreads out as they are getting enough volume to sleep longer. The key things are to make sure Lo isn't using your breast as a dummy and actually is feeding when they latch. If he has got into a routine of feeding hourly it could be for a few reasons. 1) there is not enough milk to fill him up for longer 2) he is now in the habit if grazing and doesn't get hungry enough to feed for longer.
If 1 is the reason then as long as he is gaining weight and not falling off his centile (doesn't sound like it) and has wet nappies he is getting enough milk. The only thing you have to decide in this instance is if you are happy to continue feeding so frequently as it impacts hugely on what u can do. If you are and he is doing the things I have mentioned no problem! If it is a problem to continue so frequently ( and it doesn't make u a bad mum if it is) then you may want to space his feeds out. If it is number two then every feed ask yourself the following. 1) is he rooting and looking for food. Babies can be awake without being hungry. If he is trying to suck on things and putting his fingers in his mouth sticking his tongue out etc he is hungry. Crying is their last resort to say he's hungry. If he's not rooting but just awake and or crying he prob isn't hungry. Once you are happy he is hungry then latch him on (make sure you Do this correctly or he won't feed well) after he has fed does he fall asleep quickly. Do your breasts feel like he has fed well and emptied them. In theory if they don't feel much emptied he probably is just grazing. Think about it ad if it was you. If you picked and nibbled all day you wouldn't want a big lunch so you would have a small one and then nibble all pm as u would be hungry and then get into a routine. I suspect that's what's happened. Its no ones fault and u haven't messed up. You just have to decided if you are happy to continue or want it changed. I notice u said if out he'll go longer? Is that because hes distracted or asleep? Feel free to ask more questions and hope I haven't confused u!

 

[pinkyprincess]

The funny thing is, since posting that I spent Saturday and Sunday drawing his feeds out by 15 mins (so he was going for an hour and 15 mins) he didn't like this and got very upset BUT yesterday (and this could've been a fluke) he was going an hour and 1/2! I was thinking about leaving it at the for a few days so that he's used to it, then try and stretch it until an hour and 45 mins if I can. I don't like doing this but it would certainly make life easier!
Having said that, the doctor told me to try infocol on him because he's quite windy so could that be contributing??

 

[toscacat]

It may be that he is less uncomfortable. If its double without him getting to distressed I would try and lengthen the gap between feeds in one go as much ad he'll do so if he can be distracted enough to get to 2hrs or 2 and a half the or even 3 without getting beside himself then go for It. It would be quicker than eeking it out 15mins a time. It'll take 24 to 48hrs of determination but once its done its done and then he'll take more and in turn go longer once u can break the cycle. If u know what I mean!

 

[pinkyprincess]

My only worry with thar is my OH finds it all pretty 'distressing' it makes him quite I want to say aggravated but that's not the right word! He just doesn't understand how I can stay so calm if he if upset. Luckily it would only be the evenings he's around tho!
He can go 4 1/2 hours at night so I guess he can defo go a lot longer!

Thanks for all this help