I am sorry girls but i really need to air some stuff tonight.
My main gripe is with my parents. I have always kind of been the black sheep, or the one who has messed up her life in my parents eyes, my brother who is 16 has had a lot that i didn't such as private school and a lot of materialistic stuff like laptops, contract mobiles and i pods (i sound jealous but i really am not) I love him to bits and the issue is not with him, but i got pregnant at 17, then at 21 (to the same man, some i grew up with and loved dearly but my mum hated and probably ruined it all for me in the end) i then met Rob and fell pregnant with my 3rd son at 23. I am now married to Rob and in my parents eyes he is not good enough. I decided over a year ago that i wanted to be a nurse, i worked hard at college and got a place at uni to start this september, finally i felt that my parents were proud of me and i was no longer the black sheep!
Then i found out i was pregnant with baby number 4, i was so gutted at first because it wasn't planned and felt as if it had happened at the worst time ever! Anyway after a lot of tears i decided that i just had to take what god had given me and that this child would be loved just as my others are, i know that it will be tough but Rob is so fantastic that i knew we could do it together. Robs mum was brilliant and said she would help us as best she could. So after leaving it for a few days i went over to tell my parents the news, my mum was just awful to me and said that i shouldn't be having this baby, i think she thinks i should just get rid of it because i had started to get my life back and she has some stupid idea that i am not fit enough to be pregnant and that i could DIE having this baby!!!! she even said i couldn't look after my children i have which i was so angry about (ok my kids don't have designer clothes but they are clean and loved and well looked after!!)
The problem is that her attitude has caused me to feel quite depressed and ashamed of being pregnant. But it's also ruined my close relationship with her. She sent us a card last week for our wedding anniversary which said best wishes from mum and dad (i thought that was a bit cold!) its her birthday tomorrow and i went to look for something for her today but i felt so detached from her i couldn't buy anything!
What angers me more is that i dropped my brother off at home on sunday and my dad was outside doing something, he didn't even bother to wave to me or nod his head to say hello!!!! Why do my parents always treat me like this??? I am so fed up of feeling like i am worthless, and i wonder why i let them get to me so much, i never ask for help from them, they have the boys once in a blue moon!
I am sorry that i have gone on a bit and if you have managed to read all this well done and thank you!!!!
I know that at nearly 28 years old i need to find some sort of inner courage and confidence in myself to turn round and say that i will not put up with being made to feel like this but i just don't know where to start!!!
My main gripe is with my parents. I have always kind of been the black sheep, or the one who has messed up her life in my parents eyes, my brother who is 16 has had a lot that i didn't such as private school and a lot of materialistic stuff like laptops, contract mobiles and i pods (i sound jealous but i really am not) I love him to bits and the issue is not with him, but i got pregnant at 17, then at 21 (to the same man, some i grew up with and loved dearly but my mum hated and probably ruined it all for me in the end) i then met Rob and fell pregnant with my 3rd son at 23. I am now married to Rob and in my parents eyes he is not good enough. I decided over a year ago that i wanted to be a nurse, i worked hard at college and got a place at uni to start this september, finally i felt that my parents were proud of me and i was no longer the black sheep!
Then i found out i was pregnant with baby number 4, i was so gutted at first because it wasn't planned and felt as if it had happened at the worst time ever! Anyway after a lot of tears i decided that i just had to take what god had given me and that this child would be loved just as my others are, i know that it will be tough but Rob is so fantastic that i knew we could do it together. Robs mum was brilliant and said she would help us as best she could. So after leaving it for a few days i went over to tell my parents the news, my mum was just awful to me and said that i shouldn't be having this baby, i think she thinks i should just get rid of it because i had started to get my life back and she has some stupid idea that i am not fit enough to be pregnant and that i could DIE having this baby!!!! she even said i couldn't look after my children i have which i was so angry about (ok my kids don't have designer clothes but they are clean and loved and well looked after!!)
The problem is that her attitude has caused me to feel quite depressed and ashamed of being pregnant. But it's also ruined my close relationship with her. She sent us a card last week for our wedding anniversary which said best wishes from mum and dad (i thought that was a bit cold!) its her birthday tomorrow and i went to look for something for her today but i felt so detached from her i couldn't buy anything!
What angers me more is that i dropped my brother off at home on sunday and my dad was outside doing something, he didn't even bother to wave to me or nod his head to say hello!!!! Why do my parents always treat me like this??? I am so fed up of feeling like i am worthless, and i wonder why i let them get to me so much, i never ask for help from them, they have the boys once in a blue moon!
I am sorry that i have gone on a bit and if you have managed to read all this well done and thank you!!!!
I know that at nearly 28 years old i need to find some sort of inner courage and confidence in myself to turn round and say that i will not put up with being made to feel like this but i just don't know where to start!!!
, 2nd at 21 (planned) 
, 3rd at 23 (planned) 
(I will be 25). I know how important my mum's support has been to me over the years and I can't imagine how lonely it must feel, even with your lovely hubby. 
. Sometimes if there is a face to face meeting then you don't always say what you really want or mean and emotions can run high. A letter would mean you couldn't be interrupted and might make the impact you need. Maybe it'd be nice to put a scan pic in when you get one, or would that be to much emotional blackmail? 
