iS THIS NORMAL?

[skatty]

I am really down at the moment. Leorah's digestive system is immature which means she gets terible pain when trying to poo or pass wind either end. I am not sleeping which is probably the issue here but I am so teary and I just think people are so ignorant Am I wrong to want to forget about everyone else and just concentrate on my baby for a while? My DH's family turned up at 10am for the day today! I hadn't even brushed my teeth let alone eaten any breakfast which isn't ideal as I'm breastfeeding. My family in England all want to visit and I feel terrible telling them I don't want guests but I only had my section just over 2 weeks ago. They think they wont be any trouble but of course its extra work when you have people round. Leorah's problems are much worst at night an´d I don't want to be worrying about waking everyone else up.

We went to my Dhs mums for dinner tonight and I just left, I couldn't bare sitting there knowing I'd have a much better night if I am at home feeding Leorah and relaxing. We just walked home both crying our eyes out and I don't even know why I'm crying. I feel awful that I can't take Leorah's pain away. She's such a lovely baby and only cries when she is in pain. We are taking her to have reflexology this week, has anyone tried it?

Sorry for the downer post, I'm not used to feeling like this. I have even lost my appetite! Please tell me I'm normal and this will pass

 

[littlebump]

OMG what a horrible time you're having. I don't know what to say. Can DH speak to your family and his and try to encourage them to give you a bit of space to recover? At the end of the day if they insist on coming down, the last thing you should be worrying about is whether they get any sleep - that's their concern - in fact make a list of jobs they can do when they arrive and tell them in advance - they may change their minds!!

I think trying reflexology is a good idea. My friend took her newborn baby to a cranial osteopath when he was having trouble sleeping and found it helped enormously.

The first few weeks are soo hard but they do get better I promise. It just doesn't seem like it at the time. Families can sometimes be more stressful and unhelpful even though they think they are doing the right thing.

Take care and look after yourself

LBxx

 

[gingerpig]

I'm not a mum yet, so what I say could be complete rubbish, feel free to ignore! One of my baby books talks about the importance of looking after yourself when you're breast-feeding - which it doesn't sound you're getting adequate chance to do. Also, you have just had a baby AND a c-section (which needs 6 weeks recovery time) AND it's a baby who has health implications PLUS you're not getting anyway near enough sleep. I think anyone would be tired and weepy with all of that lot! Maybe you can explain to your relatives that with Leorah's digestive systems causing so many problems, it would be easier if you can stagger their visits, and you'd rather wait until you both felt up to it! If that doesn't work, maybe you could get them to come visit, but get them to look after you when they come, and also do some of the housework. It may seem cheeky, but it would get it across to them just how tired you are. Perhaps you can also point out that you need 6 weeks healing time after the c-section?

According to a friend who is a trained accupuncturist the energy systems (in chinese medicine terms) are much easier to treat than adults, so hopefully if the reflexology is going to help, you should see results very soon.

Good luck!

 

[oldermum]

Sweetheart, it is normal to feel like this. People just don't understand that you need time to feel normal again and for that you need time for yourself as well as with the baby. I have kicked relatives out , they will understand. Tell them how you feel if you can, and limit the time of their visits.

It does get easier

 

[Minxy]

Aaah Skatty

You always come across such a warm and considerate person but I'm afraid it's time to get selfish!

When I'd had enough of company I used to announce I was off upstairs to nap with Stanley, and that they could stay as long as they wanted, help themselves to tea, and let themselves out!

When you come out of this baby-induced fug (and you will, I promise) THEN you can think about apologising or explaining your behaviour, though I bet 99% of people will know exactly what's going on anyway.

Feeding/caring for yor baby is OF COURSE the new centre of your universe, that's nature's way. Follow your instinct and keep this your number one priority. Hang the consequences!!

Maybe you OH could do some of the talking for you, if you feel impolite.

Sorry for the long post, my heart aches for you, I was where you are just a few weeks ago. Hang in there

 

[hels]

Oh Skatty, i agree with Minxy, its time to think about you and Leorah. 2 weeks post op is not long hun. C Section scars need rest, dont over do it hun, as ive said a million times, it really isnt worth it, and you promised me you would take it easy
Im sorry your babe is in pain, it must be so hard for you.
Get tough lady!!!!

 

[skatty]

Thank you everyone

I'm pleased to say we had a really good night last night, Leorah woke up every 3 hours and fed and went back to sleep immediatley and had no pain I am hoping its the infacol kicking in and not just a fluke

I have told my family in England that they can't visit until at least december and I feel so much better, its like a weight off my mind! I have also explained to my DH that I don't want any visitors and he understands so hopefully I wont get as down as yesterday.

Thank you so much for your support, I know we all always say it but I think I'd go mad without this forum and my cyber friends

 

[Daggers]

hey Skatty just saw your post, oh dear, think we've all been there to some extent - had a few weepy days myself! And wasever so glad when my MIL left after being with us for a week . She was very helpful but such a busy boby and always full of advice .
I think you did the right thing in postponing all visits until Leorah (and you) are more settled. Take care and glad to hear things seem to be getting better

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Hi Skatty

Only just seen your post hun.

You are definitely right putting your visitors off for a while; it is very stressful having people round when all you want to do is concentrate on Leorah and get to know her.

Glad Leorah had a good night and i hope the infacol is working.

Take care

 

[*saulino*]

Hi

Im glad thinsg look liek they might get a bit better for you i know how having a section and a new baby is like but you have a ll the added stress try and rest lots and dont do too much. Our company didnt end till 3 months ago it was pathetic. Hope you feel better and get some rest.
Katrina