Is it time to call it a day?

[Lily26]

Hi everyone

I've been looking at these sites for the past 16 months after I suffered my first MC at 10 wks.
My husband and I were devastated and had not really given thought to the possibility that something may go wrong.

Six months later I suffered my second MC at 6wks and had to have a methotrexate shot preventing us from trying again for 3 months. When we did though, I caught straight away. Sadly that pregnancy too ended in a MC at 9wks.

Even though we were disappointed, we felt positive that at least the NHS would now investigate any reasons behind the recurrent MCs and I had a scan and I don't know how many blood tests!

Three days before Christmas, I found out I was pregnant again, although we weren't at all excited. All my tests had come back negative giving us no reason for our losses. Reluctantly, my local clinic agreed to scan me at 7wks to provide some reassurance but as that was inconclusive, we were asked to return a week later.

By now I had experienced very mild cramps and some spotting and so we were not hopeful. However, we were elated to see our baby's HB and were told that the baby was around 6wks.

Sadly, once again, I started to cramp and bleed just a week later and miscarried again at 9wks. A scan last Thursday confirmed what we already knew.

At 39 years of age and after 4 miscarriages with no explanation, I really am thinking that it is time to call it a day. Not sure I can put myself through this again without any kind of hope.

Does anyone have any success stories to spur me on.

 

[Kloe]

I'm so sorry for all your losses.
I know it must be hard for you. I literately just lost my first yesterday.
Its a hard decision to make, whether to give up or not.
I know we all want our own flesh and blood, but there is always adoption, but you never know you might have a little miracle of your own, and I really hope you do hun. All the best

 

[scn]

I'm 39 also and I mc in November. My GP told me that at this age, only 1 out of every 4 eggs is viable for pregnancy and others will end in mc. She said as long as I was prepared for some heartache along the way, then continue TTC. Maybe you've just been sooo awfully unlucky honey and that baby is just around the corner for you xxx

 

[laurat]

Im really sorry for your losses honey! Only you can make the decision as to whether you can carry on. Take care!!! Xxx

 

[jojo3972]

Realy sorry for ur losses I'm in the same boat more or less although I already have children I'm 40 and I have had 3 losses in the last 20 months just going through some tests now but they say bad luck and age is probably a factor,have u looked into taking some royal jelly to help with making ur eggs stronger ? And well man for ur hubby to help strengthen his swimmers ?? All have very gd reviews , I'm still ttc and hoping for my rainbow baby this yr xxx

 

[flisstebbs]

Hi Lily,
I'm in a fairly similar boat to you, I'm 34 now, ttc #1, and had my 4th mc just before xmas.
We got to see a hb on the last one using progesterone and heparin, which is pretty much as far as ive ever got. All my test results were normal too, but my consultant felt it was worth a go. However, i probably started it all too late (at 6 weeks). Next time round, the plan will be to start from bfp, and doing progesterone from ov. Are you going to be given anything in the event of a possible next time?

In my job i see lots of happy endings for ladies in their late 30s and early 40s. Only you can decide if you can bear to carry on trying though. I felt the same just after the recent mc, couldn;t even contemplate trying again, but six weeks on, here i am widdling on opks again . Time really does heal.

 

[Lozzaste]

I don't think age is as much of a factor - I'm 33 and had two losses at 12 weeks within five months last year. It is absolutely bloody horrendous, I know, so I'm so sorry for your losses. The way I see it is that I want to look back on my life and know that I tried. Not trying isn't an option. I will keep going, it's almost like a fight now for me and one I'm determined to win.
I hope you're ok. You have to do what is right for you and how you feel xxx

 

[CARNAT22]

I also don't think age is an overriding factor, I had 3 losses and I was aged 30-31.

My fourth pregnancy thankfully did work out but we had to go to RMC and have all our tests done (several scans, 14 vials of blood in one sitting ) and our results also came back as 'no reason' which is the case for 70% of couples that suffer recurrent miscarriage.

With my 4th pregnancy all I did differently was take a high dose Folic Acid. I also tried my hardest to keep positive and although it sounds so cliched I really think it helped.

I was told that if we miscarried a 4th time - I got my BFP the day before we got our results from RMC - that there was another procedure they could offer me. I can't remember the name but it was an indepth look at me internally (not just a scan but a camera too!)

Don't give up, we came close so many times to giving up as it was just too bloody hard but thank God we carried on!

xxxxxxxxx

 

[jojo3972]

I was told that mc risk after 35 is high and then it's wen higher over 40 ?? :-/ I have had mcs wen I was younger but went on to have other kids but 3 in a row after I've carried normaly does make ya wander about age and bad luck as ur eggs arnt as gd the older u get same with sperm and either a bad egg or a bad sperm can cause mc from anytime from early on to later on as summet crucial is missing and there for stop the baby from growing any more and the heart stops this is what I was told by the EPu nurse and my doctor xx

 

[Robyner]

Firstly I'm so sorry for the losses of your little ones maybe this will give you some hope.
I started ttc at 34. I've had 4 chemicals and a still birth at 38 weeks. My daughter had a genetic disorder.
I will be 36 very soon and at 22 weeks pregnant all seems to be going fine.
We had some investigations and all was negative too.
We had decided that if we were not pregnant by Christmas, that we would give up trying ( my dh is 9 years older thn me)
The stress, disappointment etc was getting too much.
In my heart I didn't ever want to stop ttc, so I'm feeling so blessed and hoping this will turn out ok.
I hope you get your hearts desire xx

 

[lizsamuel80]

I had 2 mcs last year. I just had my son last week.

 

[Rayxxx123]

Oh thats so cruel,ive only had 1 mmc a year ago and didnt cope well at all with that. Just wanted to say I saw a couple on one born every minute that had had 4 unexplained mcs and then had a healthy baby xxx i bet u will get your baby in the end u deserve it x

 

[k8_005]

my freind had 10 mc and then a healthy baby who is now a few months old. that said i think you have to decide when is right for you to give up some people have the ability to keep trying until they succeed others choose to stop because of the heartache and it overtaking their lives, some people go on to adopt others choose to foster others choose to do all those wild trips you really cant take children on so easily and enjoy having more money and freedom. its difficult to know but only you know what is best maybe give yourself a few months off to think about it and take care of you then decide if want to ttc again xxx

 

[sayer82]

I had 7 miscarriages over 5 years in the end we had private tests done for nk cells and that found that my body immune system was attacking the embryos as if they were a foreign body. started ttc with the immune meds which included steroids got pregnant for the 8th time got further than I ever had but discovered at 10 weeks i had a blighted ovum a while later we started trying again with the meds and got pregnant for 9th time this time I got to see a heartbeat on scan something id never had before 20 week scan showed we were having a girl she'll be 1 year old in 12 days. so never give up that's why my little girl has the middle name of Hope as we never gave up Hope x x