Is it fair?

[paperface]

Hello ladies,

i really love animals and i always imagined when i moved out from my parents and got my own place that i would get a dog...

I would love to have a dog, i had one when i was younger and was absolutly devistated when he died.. (a reason why DF isnt keen on having a pet)

Upon thinking about it i dont think that it would be fair to have a dog bacause i work 9-5.30 and df works for a school, so there would be noone at home during the day,

we have talked about getting a cat...i know cats are more independant, would a cat be ok on its own from 8.30 to 4? i dont know too much about cats as my parents have a dislike towards them.

i am still thinking about a cat as i dont know if i like the idea of just letting a cat out to do whatever (really afraid of it getting ran over or hurt)

so another part of me thinks maybe we shouldnt get a pet at all,
me and Df have got our own house and are getting married and hopefully going to try for a baby next year...but sometimes the house just seems so empty...

is this really selfish?

sorry if this sounds like rambeling...typing at work!

 

[Lou]

No you arent being selfish. At least you are being responsible and thinking it through. Personally I'd say a big no to a dog if you are both out all day. Dogs need company and to be let out in the garden during the day and be taken for walks. I'd also say maybe to a cat but not all cats are affectionate so its a gamble. My cat rarely sits on our laps and is very independant. We have a magnetic cat flap so she can come and go as she pleases and we go away on holiday and the neighbours come over and feed her so its good from that point of view. They are quite mucky though, they aren't the cleanest of pets because of the way they groom themselves and you have to keep them de-flea'ed and wormed etc. And of course if you live by a main road you have the constant worry of them being run over which is really stressful. We had a kitten run over when we were young and it was awful

What I would say is if you do decide to get any pet for gods sake get it insured. We never had any of ours insured and when they are ill or have an accident it is soooooo expensive!!!!

Good luck whatever you decide

 

[paperface]

Thanks for the reply,
its good to have an insights into it, i would'nt take getting a pet lightly...it took me 5 years of nagging to get a hamster when i was younger!

i know a dog is a no go, it definatly isnt fair.

we live in a cul-de-sac and it is so quiet, everyone knows everyone elses business, there is a road outside the cul-de-sac it isnt used often as it is quiet hidden and there are woods at the otherside,

the only thing is that because it is so quiet there is the occasional numpty who races around it, there has been 3 massive crashes there in the last year and 2 people died.

DF has talked about getting a hamster but i dont really see the point, i have had 2 and i loved them but i dont think that its the same thing...does that make any sense?

 

[Lou]

Yeah I know what you mean. Hamsters don't have the same presence as a dog or cat. Our house felt alot different before we got our cat Phoebe. she really made it feel homely before Isaac came along. Cats are nice to have, we got Phoebe as a rescue kitten and we think she didnt have such a great time before we had her and thats why she's not mega friendly. If I got another cat I would go to a rescue centre and probably get a middle aged one that needs re-housing. That way its already litter trained and used to people. But then its also good I suppose to get a kitten and start from scratch

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

We dont have a dog for the same reasons and I think your being very responsible and thoughtful about it

Your area sounds ideal for cats to be honest, and getting a catflap means they can come and go as they please. If you worry about a cat being lonely though, as we do, theres no reason why you cant get 2!

As an alternative, have you considered a rat? They make excellent pets as tney are very clean, social and intelligent, and are usually very very friendly.....though dont get a boy cos they wee on you when they get exited

 

[Emma58]

I would love a dog, but OH point blank refuses for the same reasons as your OH we are both out at work all day and I agree it is unfair. I love dogs and my mum and dad's dog (which was mine until I left home!!) had to be put down this year and I was really upset.

We have Snakes,I know they are not every ones cup of tea but they really are lovely and very friendly. They don't need a lot of looking after (although I can't handle them at the mo because i'm pregnant)

 

[jenna]

thats why we dont have a dog, its hard when you work full time because they need to be around people.
I know people who have cats thats dont see them for days and arnt worried, so i guess having a cat would be a better idea.

 

[paperface]

My DF isnt too keen on pets, he had a lot of abd experiances with pets when he was younger ( bugie that died....he really loved that bugie ) and a dog that ran away...also his brother having the meanest cat in the universe!

he is also not too keen on a pet because apparently "i'm too soft" and i was really upset when my dog died....well, i think that if i didnt get upset then i wouldnt be human.

also i think the reason he is only coming around to the idea is because i have been so down recently about my fertility issues and my friend having a baby a few week ago...don't get me wrong i am happy for them and their little girl is gorgeous but when she was born i will admit i had a bit of a cry...after that i was fine!

it probably didnt help her telling me a few days ago that they were going to have another one soon

it wasnt so much that they are going to have another one...just how she said it,

"we're going to have another one next year" like it was nothing...and as soon as they decide they'll have one streight away... and here i am not even knowing if i can have one!

sorry...i complain too much on here...it turned into a massive rant...

been holding it in too long.

Anyway i think that he is just saying that we'll get one to make me happy basically

I have decided that i am going to complain less and help more!

Sorry ladies!

 

[jenna]

i think every one has had a pet that they really loved and broke there heart when it died.

Theres nothing wrong with getting a pet to love because your feeling down. My mum bought me a dog to make me feel better when my other one died and shes part of the family now. I know its not the same... but when you have a family you wont stop loving a pet... itll just be another member of the family. Hope your ok hun

 

[Lou]

I know how you feel hun Let it all out!

When we were TTC it was taking a long time and I was considering getting a rabbit, I really had that mothering feeling and I needed to get it out! I'd take it as a good positive sign that you are ready to be a mum, be it to a baby, rabbit, cat, dog, hamster, rat, etc etc If having a pet to look after and love while you are TTC is what will make you relax a little and ease your mothering instincts then I'd say go for it! Theres loads of animals that are desperate for a loving home and caring owners. You sound perfect to me Just remember that once baby comes you still have the pet. My poor cat Phoebe has been very much on the back burner since Isaac made an entrance into the house

 

[maybebaby]

We got a cat long before we ttc Austin. I think a cat's a great pet if you work, we both worked full time up until I went on maternity leave, and he was quite happy to go in and out, and always comes for a cuddle in the evening. OH really wants a dog but even though I'm only working 2 days a week now I want to wait until Austin and any other children we may have are a bit older. I don't want to have to deal with a newborn and a dog at the same time.

Where you live sounds great for a cat. My OH didn't like cats and I really had to fight to get ours, but he adores him now and has turned into a complete softy! (He got the ladder out the other day because Eddie was 'stuck' on the roof, even though I told him he'd come down fine when he wanted to!).

 

[Babylicious]

cats are ace by far the best pet to have if you work full time, we have a dog too but she's a pain