Is any time ever a good time?

[MrsS143]

Hi everyone

A little about me

My name is Gail
I'm 25 years old, have bought my own house, drive a nice car, am married to my wonderful husband David

I have a reasonably good paying job
....but I hate it
The recent stresses have had me off sick for the past 9 weeks
I don't think I can go back

I have a degree
It took me 5 years to get it
I could/should be in a good graduate job already
But I don't think it would make me happy
I'm fed up skipping through jobs
I need to find something I'm good at that I like and pays well (don't we all?)

Problem is, I want a baby. Now.
I cant do that can I?
I've no time to secure myself something new and be there long enough to get maternity leave
It takes ages as it is to get new jobs. And even if I did, I could well hate it

Is now a bad time to want to ttc??
Should I wait til I get a new job and am settled first even if I don't want to wait that long?

I miscarried in June
The pregnancy was unexpected but the love and excitement I felt made me know that a child is what's missing in our lives
Losing that pregnancy was tough and although I'm terrified it'll happen again, I cant think of anything I'd want more

a lot of my bump buddies are going into their final few weeks before they're full term
I can't help but think I'd have only 9 weeks left myself
Each day that passes is a day further away from holding my precious baby in my arms one day

So... is ever a time the right time?
Or do people just throw caution to the wind and deal with whatever whenever it arises later?
I cant help but feel waiting will just produce a list that gets longer and longer of reasons why we need to keep waiting to try...

 

[MrsS143]

How did you know the time was right for you?

 

[Muguboo]

I wouldn't wait. I have spent 45 months trying to get pregnant twice. I wish I hadn't waited to start trying. I also wish I hadn't put stuff off (like my degree) until kids came along as I have just been set back. I'm on track now but there's a real chance I won't be able have as many kids as I wanted and I may be almost 40 now before fully qualifying in my new career.

What I'm saying is essentially life happens while you're making other plans - just do it if you want it don't put it off x

 

[AmyQ]

I hated my job, it was customer service.
I have a masters degree in Psychology and haven't done anything with it yet.
Have been married for 2 years.
Rented not owned.
Had modest savings (just me - enough to survive 6 months with no pay at a push on my own).

There is never a 'perfect' time. I'm sure if you have everything planned perfectly when you have your LO there will be something you hadn't planned for.

For us, we actually started TTC before discussing it - we had both wanted a baby for a long time and it had been put off due to money, house, career etc. In the end it's the best thing that ever happened for us, despite a few minor obstacles.

You can't predict when you will get your BFP, so if this is what you want then go for it and things will work out. We were lucky that I fell pregnant the first month otherwise I might have chickened out for a few more months or years even.

Good luck with whatever you decide xxx

 

[MrsS143]

Yeah I worry itll always be one thing or another and before long ill be old and ripe and my body wont want to carry a baby inside it anymore

 

[papella]

Well me and the OH are both 24, been together 8 years, got our house, car both working etc

We were waiting until next september TTC but i wanted to start earlier and then recently i had a trip to hospital which i've never had before wasn't anything major in the end, but that was enough to convince i wanted to start TTC now, so spoke to the OH and we both agree now is a great time to try hence the implant coming out on wednesday

 

[MrsS143]

I had the implant in
I bled constantly every day with it
im pretty sure my periods returned regular pretty soon after
the depo shot on the other hand I waited about a year for my period to return!

 

[MrsS143]

I had the implant in
I bled constantly every day with it
im pretty sure my periods returned regular pretty soon after
the depo shot on the other hand I waited about a year for my period to return!

 

[papella]

I've had the implant in for 5 years now and probably had AF maybe 10 times in those 5 years!

 

[MrsS143]

I wished
I tried for about 15months
I figured bleeding daily wasnt worth it lol

 

[MrsS143]

I wished
I tried for about 15months
I figured bleeding daily wasnt worth it lol

 

[mistyblue]

I don't think there is ever a right time. Since my mc in August, we have realised how much we both want a baby, but I also know I don't want TTC to take over my life as it has done for such a long time. If my job was making me as unhappy as your's is making you, I would start looking elsewhere. If nothing else, the stress won't help TTC anyway. I don't hate my job, but I do have the opportunity to go for something else which would suit me better, so I am going to apply. I understand though. If I left, then found out I was pregnant, it would bugger up my mat leave, but what if I don't conceive and I miss out on a really good opportunity?

I am also scared I will have another mc, but if I don't try, I will never know and I would regret that.

Don't stop living your life while TTC, I did and it made me very unhappy. We have now taken a different approach. We are trying again, but it is not going to stop us moving house, going on holiday or changing jobs if we want/ need to. It's hard,but I have found it the only way to move forward.

I hope you don't think I am cold or hard. My mc hit me harder than anything, but it made me realise how fragile and precious life is and I am determined not to let this beat me. Much love, hun x x

 

[cosmicgirl]

For me personally, I wanted to wait until I had a stable job with good mat pay and enough savings to see me through. I can't deal with financial stress and I wanted to enjoy my pregnancy without worrying about that side of things. That's just for me personally

 

[MrsS143]

Im very much living the 'what if' life atm
what if I was still pregnant now
id be 30w+4 yaddy yadda
still not over it tbh

ive never really lived in the here and now
I either dwell on the past of live in anxiety over the future
im an idiot x

 

[MrsS143]

Im very much living the 'what if' life atm
what if I was still pregnant now
id be 30w+4 yaddy yadda
still not over it tbh

ive never really lived in the here and now
I either dwell on the past of live in anxiety over the future
im an idiot x

 

[cosmicgirl]

You're not an idiot

 

[MrsS143]

I am a bit
I know my flaw yet continue to do it anyway lol
can't be helped I suppose xx

 

[MrsS143]

I am a bit
I know my flaw yet continue to do it anyway lol
can't be helped I suppose xx

 

[mistyblue]

Don't beat yourself up, hun. You're not an idiot x x

 

[diane]

I agree with people saying dont put your life on hold etc but I do believe that you should have certain aspects of your life in the best place they can be before you ttc; eg a stable job, be able to support yourself through maternity leave (whether that be on hubby's wage, savings, or if you can survive on maternity pay).

For example if I ever wanted another child I would be waiting until my daughter is eligible for free child care as we couldn't afford to put 2 children in private nurseries.