I'M FURIOUS!

[clairescunny55]

Millie was playing with her best friend at playschool and when i went to pick her up she was hiding in the toilets she said her 'friend' bit her. I looked at her arm and she has a HUGE red bite mark with about 10 teeth marks and its bruising. The teacher said they cant tell me who did it or why but millie told me anyway. You expect them to fall and graze their knee but not this. Millie told me that the teacher didnt cuddle her, just left her to cry I feel awful. She'd just settled in and now she doesnt want to go anymore.

On a good note though, she had her jabs this morning, and she didnt even flinch! no tears! she came running out smiling!

I feel so guilty about the whole playschool thing. I dont think a nearly 4 year old should behave like that. Its disgusting. Millie hasnt been herself since. shes really quiet and upset. I'm going to show the girls mum her arm and see what she has to say as she avoided me today

 

[lauramumof2]

I would be angry too. Imagine the teacher not even comforting her. I would have expected the nursery to have said the girls mother. Thats would happen at our nursery.

Poor wee pet

 

[Jade89]

That's discusting how the teacher diddn't comfort your little girl, especially to leave her in the toilets crying on her own.

I'd Compain!!!

I don't blame you for wanting to confornt her Mum, she should know what's gone on and disipline her daughter for doing wrong and thats coming from me.... My little girl is a biter but she's not 2 until next month and bites out of frustration and I tell her it's wrong, not nice and that she's hurt another child. I try get her to apologise too.

 

[clairescunny55]

My little girl is a biter but she's not 2 until next month and bites out of frustration and I tell her it's wrong, not nice and that she's hurt another child. I try get her to apologise too.

millie used to do that but soon grew out of it, you dont expect a 4 year old to do it though!

 

[Sherlock]

I'm sorry Millie has had this happen. I can imagine she is not wanting to go back.

I'd file a complaint to the manager/head tbh. The whole thing sounds like its been handled badly. Take pics of the bite marks if you can to show him/her also (perhaps when Millie is asleep so as to not upset her more).

FWIW if there is any broken skin I'd give the NHS Direct or your GP a call to be on the safe side. Human bites can turn nasty. If no broken skin then please don't panic (I'm not meaning to scare you, just wanting to inform is all) as it will be ok.

 

[beanie]

most urseries have a policy of not saying who the biter was but the mother of the other child should have been informed, and I guess she was seeing as she avoided you. She probably did discipline her daughter. I have been the mother of a biter (who is still doing it at the age of nearly 3, but it seems to be me more then other children) and of a child that has been bitten badly. I am disgusted that they didn't comfort your daughter though, I hope she is ok.

 

[Jade89]

My little girl is a biter but she's not 2 until next month and bites out of frustration and I tell her it's wrong, not nice and that she's hurt another child. I try get her to apologise too.

millie used to do that but soon grew out of it, you dont expect a 4 year old to do it though!

no, ive never known a 4 year old child to bite either, they do usually grow out of it earlier than that.

Beanie - Aaliyah went through a stage of just biting me too

 

[maria1976]

aww poor thing

can i ask though why nurseries have policies on not telling?? Id be absolutely hopping if they didnt tell me

 

[Redshoes]

I really hope she does start to feel happy about playschool again soon

 

[Squiglet]

Poor thing I remember something similar happening to Tia when she was tiny only it was on her shoulder bone the first time and I didn't find it until bath time that night...after that she kept getting bite marks on her... The teachers said that they didn't notice because she never cried or told them...but some of them were downright nasty and even I would have cried. Apparently they can't touch the children or sit them on their knee for fear of claims of sexual abuse at least thats what I was told, but how can you not comfort a crying child. Its awful little ones should be comforted when they hurt themselves.

 

[Sammystar]

I wouldn't be too hard on them. I've heard that they can't cuddle a child any more, they are given strict guidelines. It's bloody ridiculous. If I were a nursery teacher I wouldn't be able to leave a child crying but you just don't know do you. I bet they are scared to do anything these days. My mum used to work in a primary school and they weren't even allowed to change a child who had wet itself without having at least two teachers present and even then they had to call the mum first!

I assume the mother of the child who bit will have disciplined. She should have said something to you though. Don't be too hard on her. I'd be mortified if my child did that to another. I'm pretty sure mine wouldn't but you just never know......

 

[Urchin]

You can't cuddle a child but if the child comes to you you can usually "return" a cuddle.

You can't tell the parents who did it in case of a confrontation.

Sorry to hear about this, I would also mention it to the mum, I know she will be told already but I would want to her see how bad it was.

 

[Becky]

At DD's nursery we get "Accident Reports" where the other child isn't named but a description of how the injury happened and what was done to treat it and comfort the child (which in mild incidents is usually described as "cold compress & cuddles).

The accident report goes home to the parents of BOTH children and in the case of a serious "accident" then the nursery staff arrange to speak to the parents of the offending child to try and find a way of preventing it again. I accept that DD will come home with bumps and bruises and won't always get on with other children but biting is inexcusable imo.

I would check with the nursery manager to see what their official procedures are, they have to have them documented. I would also be putting in a complaint as it's unacceptable that the staff have not approached you to give any reassurance that they are handling the matter.

 

[joj]

It does sound like it wasn't handled brilliantly, it is true that legally you can't cuddle a child (child protection laws gone OTT) but I'm a teacher and if one of my class cuddles me I always put my arm round them too, but I have to turn to the side so it can't be mistaken as anything dodgy! It's all a little stupid. I think she should have comforted her in some way.

 

[Magic Monkey]

I agree with the others, not cuddling her would be because they officially are not allowed to, but I always find it amazing that someone who works in that sort of profession can let a child cry. I teach year R and if they are upset I give them a cuddle, put them on my lap and talk to them until they calm down - I couldn't not. But, I know that I would have the backing of my headteacher and union if anyone was to make a complaint (personally, I think parents are more likely to complain if you don't comfort children)

I have known a few 4 and 5 year olds who still bite.

 

[lfc_sarah]