I'm 26 but daren't tell my parents!

[Shelley]

I'm 26 and just found out I'm 7 weeks pregnant and work alongside my Mum in my shop (that I only set up last year!) So I know my parents will be more upset and negative towards my news as I'm just starting out self-employed with no money and I'm living with my partner who my mum doesn't really approve. I know they'll try and look at the practical side and be disappointed but whats the best way to tell them? I think my dad will take the news better as he adores children and his face lights up whenever he sees a baby. Me and my partner also didn't expect this as I've always had a lot of problems down there and was told it'd be difficult to conceive plus his fertility test resulted negative so this is a blessing in disguise, if not a few years early!

I'm so scared so any tips on the best way of breaking the news will be great. Please help!

 

[bexxie]

Hi there
First things first I would take yur parents for a nice meal,or cook them one. Sit them down and just tell them,they will if a little disappointed at first be okay after the initial shock be okay.

Of course they will be worrying about the financial side to things (they would still be if you were 47) that is parents. You will work things out,things look daunting now because the news is sudden and just been thrown at you,also if not a planned situation then the news will still be a shock albeit a happy one.

Remember as long as you love you other half and he you,then nothing else matters,business or no business,parents approval or not. You are a big girl now and it is your life to make whatever decisions come your way. Financial things right themselves as do parents.
tak care
we are all here to chat
bex.x

 

[Charm]

I don't know what to advise, your just going to have to bite the bullet and hope for the best.

Your parents may be disappointed at first but they'll learn to accept it they don't have much choice.

Your a big girl now, you have a loving partner, a good job and you'll work things out, you have to for your little baby and your new family.

I hope you have a happy, healthy pregnancy

Cx

 

[maybebaby]

Removed personal post

 

[budge]

Geeze for once im stuck for words.

 

[Miracle babe]

Bottom line is YOU are happy and you need to just tell them that, stuff what they think this is your little one and they need to realise that as much as they love you, thats how much your gonna love this little one and your gonna defend their right to be here as much as they'd defend yours. They may very well suprise you by being happy and proud of how you are dealing with this

 

[Emmylou]

**Sneaks In........sorry to gatecrash your post**

Spooky - I was just about to post a very similiar thing........ I am also 7 weeks pg, i'm 26 and my OH and I have our own business (we've been set up for 3 years but its still tough making ends meet). I am dreading telling my OH's mum, as although we all get on fabulously well, she knows that financially we only have 1 small income from the business, so we make it through the month but only just.

She is going to flip, she always worries about money, buys us food etc, checks we've paid our bills, tells us our other staff will end up getting pg and leaving us 'in the lurch' which makes me angry as we would just take on a temp to cover for the maternity leave etc. We have just taken on another girl, and the first thing she said was...... why didn't you employ a guy? She'll go off and get pg and you'll be left without staff blah blah blah! Its the only area we argue about, as we can't run the business petrified someone might go off sick/ get pg/ leave etc.

OH is dreading us telling her as she will flip! Ready for the lecture about us not being ready/ married/ financially stable/ able to have me off work etc. My mom will be shocked and disappointed at first cos we're not married, but i know she'll be fine, and as for my dad, he will dance on the roof! He has been begging us for grandchildren! (My mom and dad are separated so i can't ask my dad to spread the happiness to my mom).

Sorry for the long post, I am sorry that you also have the same concerns, and hopefully we can use each other to sound off about the eventual news breaking!

GOOD LUCK

We are telling OH's mum on bank holiday weekend (if we don't chicken out) as she will be back from holiday, didn't want to tell her yesterday when we saw her as we didn't want to ruin her holiday.

 

[Hypnorm]

The weekend i found out i was pregnant - my mum was saying its the wrong time to bee thinking about kid syou should wait for a coupe more years.
this was about 4 weeks before christmas, we were going to tell them at christmas but i was making my self sick with worrry coz i thought they be angry, so my hubby phoned mum and told her and she was quite happy about it - not that she had a lot of choice really! but it was a huge weight off my shoulders and she dotes on Ewan!!

 

[Shelley]

Thanks everyone for the advice,

Oh my god Emmylou - your ML sounds quite similar. I was gonna try and hold out till we've got our house up for sale (my family and us all hate where I live so can't wait to get away) so at least we've got one aspect changing for the better when I tell her. My OH works long hours quite far away for low income so he's asking for more money or another job. She dislikes my OH as he has a past and is still trying to prove himself to her that he is a good person and wants the best for me. She's coming around slowly but I think this will just push her back.
I really need her and my dad to help us out as my OH's parents are awful people and we both have nothing to do with them.
Let me know when you do it hun! Fingers crossed!

 

[Emmylou]

Hi Shelley,

I think I'm going to tell my mom next monday, as its my birthday so I'm going round for tea, and these things really should be done face to face. Then just counting down to tell MIL (Argh!) even OH is petrified of telling her so thats not making me feel any calmer!

I'm sure your mom and dad will come round to the idea, and once the baby is here how could they resist being happy??! As for difficulty with them not liking your |OH, if he makes you happy - which it sounds like he does, them time will show them he is looking after you and little one, and making steps to provide a stable future by looking for better job/ more income for his current job!

Good luck hun, let me know how it goes and I'll do the same.

 

[skatty]

Hi Shelley and Emmy Lou, I am also self employed but based in Denmark but have found out I can get maternity money! I don't take a wage from the business so I will actually be better of than I am now, perhaps you should look into it, you may find your financial situation not so bad after all

 

[Emmylou]

Thanks Skatty,

I'll have a chat with our accountant as he is usually pretty helpful with pay & tax and things, maybe we are entitled as we only take one small salary from the business between two of us.........

.......I'll keep you posted! Thanks for the advice x

 

[Tam]

Hi,

I will just add my two penneth..........

When I was 21, I was in a good job and training to be a manager of my own store.....I found out I was PG. My Mum & Dad lived miles away, but I knew I had to tell them as soon as poss, as I was scared and my OH (at the time) lived near them too, I had yet to tell him too (and I knew we wouldn't make it, I didn't love him at all it was a very early relationship). For the reasons of my job and the fact I hadn't been with my OH long, I was dreading telling Mum & Dad, but I knew Mum would take it better than Dad, so..........

I took time off went up to see them and told my Mum on her own.....she was shocked but not disappointed, she was just worried for me, but she would help me break the news to Dad (which I was dreading)........

We sat down, I told him, he replied "well that wasn't clever was it, I knew it"!!......

Anyway, cut a long story short, he really pushed me towards a termintaion (as did my OH) for the next few weeks, and the day I was due to terminate, I told everyone, I wasn't going thru with it............

My OH was coming round to the idea, but I didn't like the guy much by this point and wanted nothing to do with him, and my Dad soon came round to the idea and when I had my DD he was so proud, as was my Mum & they both doted on her and treat her as if she was their own........it was the best thing I ever did!

My Dad can cry now when he thinks how he tried to get me to terminate, that really haunts him to this day. My Mum was just great all the way along, never putting any pressure on me at all and supporting all my decisions.

So I just wanted to let you know that people do come round and it is worth the wait, and if they don't, it is them that will lose out, not you!

I wish you both the best of luck with telling your parents and in-laws! xx

 

[skatty]

That's really nice Tam, its true once the baby is in the real world it all changes

 

[Emmylou]

Thanks Tam, i totally see what you are saying and know that OH's mum will be overjoyed when she is holding her first grandchild, so if she is mad when we tell her, we will just hold onto that thought.

On a lighter note, I have just told my mom our news , she is quite happy, obviously a bit surprised as was not expecting it at all, but i'm really proud of her for not blowing her top, she just said 'everything happens for a reason' and was excited that the EDD is a couple of days before my nanna's birthday(her mom), so is hoping for baby to be couple of days late!

Got the easy one next - my dad - he's been begging for grandchildren, so can't wait for him to finsh work so i can call him - roll on 9pm!

 

[Tam]

Awwwww that is great news hun!!! I am so pleased for you!!!! The chances of being late for your first born is quite good too

Glad things are working out out for you babe! xx

 

[Hypnorm]

Glad things went ok for you

 

[Emmylou]

Thanks, thats one shoulder feeling lighter, just waiting to tell OH's mom - thats the scary one.

Shelley - keep me updated with you, when you tell your mom x

 

[Emmylou]

Haha! Just got off the phone to my dad - as expected he is over the moon, and went and got himself a brandy & lemonade (yuck!) to drink good health - any excuse!

Bless - my lil sis started crying!

 

[Tam]

AWWWWWWWWWW that's lovely!!