Idiot husband

[gingerxmas]

Hi!

I'm now 20 weeks pregnant with my first. When I was on the computer the other day I found a load of "porn" style model photos that my husband had downloaded. If that wasn't bad, I then found that he had been downloading photos of girls he used to fancy or have relationships with from facebook - them dressed up for nights out, bikini shots etc.
I don't think I would have been too bothered if it had just been the model shots - we've not had the best sexual relationship since I've been pregnant - I had bleeding during 1st tri so it was off the cards, and since baby has been moving he's too paranoid to do anything. But the idea of him "looking" at photos of friends of his and mine in that way is making me totally paranoid. One of these friends is coming down for a visit in a weeks time (with her husband) and I'm not sure I'll be able to look at her in the same way!
When confronted he deleted all the images, and said it was just because we hadn't been getting on too well and he was lonely. He said he hadn't done anything with the photos apart from look, and wouldn't dream of cheating on me. But it has still made me feel like crap. I've been having a really hard time of it at the mo anyway, because as well as being pregnant my step-dad has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and is currently going through chemo to try and make him survive long enough to meet the baby, and work have been a nightmare since finding out, basically telling me that they don't want me there any longer due to pregnancy - that is currently with the unions to sort out! This just feels like another nail....
Anyone found their other halfs doing anything like this or have any advice? He's been brill in every other way all the way through our relationship, and I know this has only happened once, during those few months.
Thanks, and sorry for the long rant.

 

[Lilelephant]

Oh Hun my OH has done similar things and it is horrible and makes u feel like crap they are just thoughtless x

 

[Nic36]

Sometimes men can be so thoughtless and selfish... *big hugs* really sounds like you need his support more than ever with everything else that is going on for you right now. Hope he makes it up to you. xx

 

[saraian26]

Omg....

Ive never had that, he looks at porn but thats different becuase the pics your oh has are personal. Dont sound right at all too me and i know if it was me Id have gone off my flippin nut for him being an insensitive you know what!
Plus having pictures of exs would really upset me. I can only imagine how you feel. You not being able to have sex shouldnt give him the green light to save pictures of girls he has been with.

My advice, total go mental at him and tell him how out of order he is. And make him bloody work for forgiveness.

 

[Lilmoomin]

My hubby did this to me when I was working nights a few years back, it was a huge blow to my already lack of confidence in myself! But I couldn't ignore it, I told him how it made me feel, then turned the table on him & asked how he would feel if I was looking / getting off over other guys? He said he would be devastated! He worked really hard to make sure I knew that I was the only one for him, but it has taken time! Huge hugs hun x x x

 

[Jayceesmumma]

So sorry to hear the rough time you are going through

I dont blame u for being upset thats such a shitty thing to do.. im ok with a bit of porn but people you know?? No way!!! I agree.. make him pay for it and he wont think twice about doing it again!!

while i was preg (and even when i wasnt) My ex used to sign up for sex sites and send pics of himself to local women and his phone was constantly ringing with these girls... i even answered the phone thinking it was one of his male freinds (thats the name it was under) and it was some bird who got arsey with me!!
He even used to post pics of me saying we were a couple looking for a girl to meet.. men are dicks!!
Luckily my current OH doesnt like porn at all (such a change from the sex mad ex lol) which i found weird at first.. but im so glad now.

i hope things in life sort themselves out for you babe i cant imagine how your feeling right now about your step dad i hope he gets better soon

 

[Olive]

Just wanted to give you a big xx

I'm ok with a bit of porn, I know everyone is different in that sense, but wouldn't be happy with the personal pics at all. I hope you manage to sort it all out.

xx

 

[1986princess]

Sorry to hear ur going through this as well as work and ur dads illness. Must be hard! I wouldn't be happy in ur situation with oh and hope after u talk things through that he treats u better! Xhugsx

 

[ISH]

I am either the odd one out or just not bothered about admitting it, but I am one of those girls who do look at porn My OH doesn't, he's a bit prude, but doesn't have a problem with me doing it. There hasn't been much action since baby appeared on the scene (paranoid and too sick to boot), so there's a lot of frustration. Porn doesn't really mean anything. Photos of people in particular are different though, and I would be very upset if it happened to me.

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Ur not the odd one out Hun