I need to give up for my sanity, but he won't take a bottle, help me

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by Bunnykins, Apr 11, 2016.

  1. Bunnykins

    Bunnykins Well-Known Member

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    So my Ds is nearly 6months and I'd always planned to combi feed so have been offering a bottle since the start. He was never very happy about taking it and always much preferred breast. He's a real comfort feeder, even now he will rarely go longer than an hour without a feed from me.
    We managed to get him on one 5oz bottle of formula a day back in Feb and then suddenly after a week he rejected it with no reason and since then has absolute histrionics if he so much as sees a bottle.
    We've tried everything you can think of and more and he simply will not drink anything that isn't my boob. I'm starting to get quite depressed and chlaustrophobic about the breast feeding and really need to for my own sanity and health stop. Plus I've had a recent gallstone attack and need to be on a low fat diet with the possibility of an operation if I don't, but I can't eat low fat with the amount of feeds he has from me as I start to feel ill.
    He is up every 25 mins during the night to comfort feed and last night I brought him in bed with us and he latched on me for 3hours, my nipple is agony today from it. It's affecting my relationship with him and my relationship with my other child.

    I'm thinking about just going cold turkey, he's just started baby led weaning 2 days ago to get him used to foreign tastes and textures in the hope that might help, but it will be a long while before he's eating anywhere near enough to be able to drop feeds. So cold turkey seems my only option. I'm not worried about mastitis as I'll pump and gradually reduce my milk production that way. I'm worried about starving my baby and how hysterical he is likely to get before he takes the formula, he's very very stubborn.

    Has anyone had any experience of this or any advice? I've never been through it before as my other child combi fed fine and I was able to introduce bottles gradually with no fuss. Despite the fact I'm crying all the time and hating bf'ing with a passion I'm also wracked with guilt about forcing him to stop something he clearly wants to do.

    Sorry about the long rambling post I'm at my wits end.
     
    #1 Bunnykins, Apr 11, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2016
  2. tilliewoo

    tilliewoo Well-Known Member

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    I have complete sympathy for you. I am mother to 3 boys. 1st I fed until 6 months and he took to a bottle with no issues at all I expected the same to be the case with my 2nd.
    I tried to introduce a bottle at 4 months with expressed milk and we had no luck, he just didn't know how to suck it. I spent a fortune on every bottle under the sun, even got ones sent to me from USA but no joy.
    I begged my HV for help as it was getting to the point I could no longer cope, all I got there was a pat on the head and told I was doing an amazing job. He used me for comfort as well as feeding.
    My only break came when I weaned him, I got him onto a cup around the same time.
    He still continued to look for his comfort but not so much all feeds which gave me a little bit of sanity again, but this continued well until he was 1.
    I tried everything. Even leaving him with my mother for the night so I wasn't near him. Unfortunately nothing worked.
    I'm sorry I can not offer a magic solution, just know you are not on your own and I have all the sympathy in the world for you.
    With my 3rd he was in NICU for 3 weeks and tube fed expressed milk, I made sure as soon as we came home he knew how to suck a bottle, I will not be bitten twice.

    Good luck x

    Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk
     
  3. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    Sorry you are having a hard time. DD was very frequent feeder and I started finding that hard. Eventually at about 8 months, I made her wait a set amount between feeds and that helped a lot. Maybe that could be an option for you? She complained about it at first but didnt take long to adjust. She never learned to use a bottle but started to use a sippy cup from 6 months and got good at it quite quickly. When she was a year old i was pregnant again and found it too hard to get up in the night so OH started getting up with her and offering her water in a sippy cup instead. After about 3 nights she was fine with that. Its harder with a 6 month old though.

    Do you have any idea what put him off the bottle? He could have a dairy intolerance and its gave him a sore tummy?
     
  4. Birdie

    Birdie Well-Known Member

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    Goodness me - that sounds incredibly tough... you really do have my sympathy.

    I can only think of pretty obvious things you've probably tried, like a dummy for the all night comfort feeding or giving expressed milk in a bottle (have you tried Munchkin Latch bottles as the most closely mimic the human nipple)?

    Have you ruled out silent reflux or any other health issues - because the 25min wake ups is pretty hardcore! Alternatively is there any way not to feed to sleep and see if that helps, because when my son fed to sleep he would wake each sleep cycle wondering where boob had gone but if he fell asleep without my boob in his mouth, he slept better.

    I am still feeding my son at 2.5yrs old and are due #2 later this year and funnily enough my husband & I were literally just discussing how completely overwhelming & all encompassing breastfeeding can be. It can be so tough sometimes and like you say the guilt for wanting to stop is immense.

    I would however add that your mental health is EXTREMELY important and breastfeeding is a relationship that really needs to work for both baby & mummy.... so if it's not working and you can't find any solution other than to stop, please do not feel guilty. Your little boy needs a sane and happy mummy more than he needs breast milk, I promise you.

    Good luck.
     
    #4 Birdie, Apr 15, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2016
  5. CharlieSmartie

    CharlieSmartie Well-Known Member

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    My two baby friends seem to be struggling with the same problem. Their second children won't take the bottle, whereas their first did no problems.

    We eventually got our 3 year old onto bottles after a lot of persuasion at around 5 weeks, mostly she was BF but when I needed to go out it meant my husband could feed her. I continued BFing until 1 year.

    This time round it's twins so I really really really hope I don't have the same problem regarding them refusing bottles as I know I will struggle with sanity breastfeeding two!

    No really advice I'm afraid, have u tried different makes of bottles? Make sure u have high flow teats.
     

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