I love my man again update top of first page :-)

[Geordie&Bairn]

After a lot of discussion James has finaly seen the light and my point of view. He is going to talk to his Dad about him ringing across first to let me know he's coming over and to tell me when he as customers arriving
RESULT

James has this silly idea that waiting untill after the baby is here to sort out the store room as there is no rush he has the same idea for planning what supplies we need for the baby...ie run down the the town when baby is here and then get clothes nappy sacks nappies nappy bin changing mat baby bath, changing unit ect ect
Silly man
Anyway i have now made him see we need the store room set up BEFORE not AFTER and today we have been hard at work solving problems and finding solutions

He's going to put up shelving above the oven for equipment giving me more room to prepare food
he's cleared out a whole load of junk and put it in another shed I CAN SEE A FLOOR NOW its BRILLIANT he removed one of our seattes and put that in to the other shed too,and chucked out the junk that was on top of and hiding my other settee
James got our lovley wooden coffee table out of the garage so now i can eat and sit in the store room id forgotten what it looked like (its so beautiful )

we our going to see about ways to heat the store room im sure that will not be to hard. And we bought some white paint next week when im off on maternity we our going to get started washing down the walls removing the guns and gun equipment of the walls and shelves
I do not want to think of how many years of dust is going to fly in my face then paint the walls

his best mate is geting a new tv so said we could have his old huge surround sound one WICKED we only have a small telly in the bedroom
This mean i will soon have some where i can relax, eat, watch telly, read and the bedroom will be used for just that for sleeping.

And we our hoping the cot will actually fit in the bedroom if we remove the cheast of draws and take the raditor of the wall.
Hope it fits ive not seen the cot to be honest its James nieces and its in storage in the garage PLEASE FIT

SO im feeling much cherpier today 8) 8) 8) 8)
id still like my own home but as things are improving here i think i can live it out here till we can afford a place of our own
as long as Collier is safe and happy that all that counts now













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well they would be in laws is we were married.but that a whole different vent
easier to say in laws then james dad or james step mum.
NAMES ANNE AND IAN
THIS IS JUST SOME OF THE THINGS THAT GET TO ME
IF I LISTED THEM ALL YOU'S BE HEAR TILL TOMMOROW READING

OK here goes bare with my and i apologise in advance if i go on for so long you fall asleep.

Background been living in granny annexe/shed for 2 years to save money
at IN LAWS place.

under the shed is a nuculer fall out shelter (the house is quite old)
the bunker is used by IAN for his buisness so he has to go down there regualry he houses guns fro people fixes the decommsions them test them to see if thay work ect ect

dosnt bother me most days as im at work but when im off ahhhhh
and im worried about what will happen when Collier comes along too

Anyway
RANT ONE ..... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ITS ONLY JUST GOEN 9 OCLOCK WHY THE HELL SHOULD I ALREADY BE DRESSED I AM SICK OF hIM CHARGING OVER HEAR WHEN IM IN MY NIGHTY OR WORSE iN A BATH TOWLE OR IN THE BLOODY SHOWER.
i have to leg it into a room and shut the door when he comes in its bloody annoying


RANT TWO ITS NOT ALWAYS JUST HIM ITS HIS CUSTOEMRS TOO
CAN BE UP TO 5 OF THEM CRASHING THOUGH MT HALL WAY TO GET TO THE BUNKER
WHEN IM STILL SLEEPING OR JUST WOKE UP

RANT THREE
bought a lovely gorgoues bag yesterday to use as a hosptial bag for when my little son arrives
i was vey pleased with myself id had a great day shopping Proud id found a great bag at the bargin price of £5.99
i came home in a HAPPY BUBBLE
i showed the bag to ANNE the bag thinking she'd say well done
her reply "COULDN'T YOU HAVE FOUND SOMETHING CHEAPER LIKE USE A PLASTIC BAG (happy bubble promptly burst)
she made me feel like i was wasting money


RANT FIVE he will not pick me up from out side my work place as he dose not want to have to slow down for the main road trafic
so i have to walk no sorry waddle for half a mile down the road to Sainsburys and wait out side till he comes and gets me
all of 40 MINUTES AFTER I FINFISHED WORK
OK OK HE'S DOING ME A FAVOUR AND IAM GRATFUL but i want to get home after a long day on my feet.
and he grumbes about picking me up thats why i wangle a lift from one of my work mates as much as i can.
FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS ONE

RANT SIX ... belated one i borrowed the tin opener a while back and hadnt tok it stright back
I HAD BEEN TOLD WHEN I MOVED IN I COULD HELP MYSLEF IF I NEEDED ANYTHNG i do not do this much as i feel bad about invading thier space as it is but all our cutlery is in the garage (very long story but i have no proper kitchen)
anyway IAN comes storming over demaning his tin opener so i then go hunting in the garage for ours its rusty from 2 years of storage so i buy a new one.
ITS MY BIRTHDAY A FEW DAYS LATER AND WHAT DID I GET FOR MY PRESENT FROM IN LAWS YEP A TIN OPENER
the thought did not count for me

RANT SEVEN This one is silly i know but oh its get's on my nerves
IAN takes me to and from work somethimes when James is not hear or i cant get a lift from one of the girls at work.
HE BREATHS LOUDLY AND I MEAN LOUDLY THROUGH HIS NOSE
IT DRIVES ME INSANE I JUST WANT TO HIT HIM IN THE NOSE TO SHUT HIM UP
feel bad about this one too


RANT EIGHT
I CAN NOT COMPLAIN AND FEEL BAD ABOUT MOANING
as im living hear rent free and we would have been struggling well pretty much homless due to lack of money if we hadnt moved in hear,.
AND THIS MAKES IT WORSE because the LACK OF PRIVACY
LACK OFF A REAL KITCHEN LIVING ROOM
I HAVE IT SO MUCH BETTER THEN A LOT OF PEOPLE I KNOW THIS
BUT IT GETS ME SO DOWN
MEANS I CANT FEEL OK WITH BEING UPSET ABOUT MY SITUATION AND I FEEL SHAMED OF BEING UPSET AS I KNOW IVE GOT IT ALOT EASIER THEN OTHERS
Dosnt stop me being frustrated when IAN walks in on me in my nighty or worse him and his customers wakeing me up
or crying because i want to live in a real home with a kitchen/ sitting room and PRIVACY

I WANT TO LIVE IN A REAL HOME
Where i can sit and watch telly on a seatte not in my bedroom and cook a meal from a real kitchen

IVE FOUND OUT we our not moving out after the baby is born as (another long story about James job and locality) we could still be hear till SEPTEMBER WITH OUR BABY

OK RANT OVER
dont need or expect replys just neded to rant as i cant say anything to James as he feel bad enough about or situation and it makes him feel ashamed he can not provide a home for us yet


sorry everyone once in a while just need to whinge about my situation

 

[Mrs_Jay]

i havent really got any advice only my sympathy, i just couldnt handle living with my inlaws they would drive me crazy. prehaps you could have a word about having a little bit more privacy tho coz thats just not on. coz it will probably been worse once youve had your little boy becoz they'll want to "help" with him too. lots of hugs from me

 

[Jade&Evie]

There's no way I could live with my in-laws (I have two sets because Jon's parents are divorced )

My FIL is just like Jon and I have problems sharing a home with him sometimes! My MIL is just an annoying bitch and I am far too outspoken to be left alone with her for more than two hours so living with her would be a complete NO NO.

Then again, my OH would have a fair few things to say about living with my parents...

JUST REMEMBER: IT WON'T BE FOREVER

 

[HappyAlice]

I feel for you, it would do my head in aswell, people need their own space and privacy. Is there no way you could look into moving out/somewhere else sooner? You'd be a lot happier!

 

[Tadpole]

Sweetie, I really feel for you I do. I think you have every right to be upset because you are 7 months pregnant and LIVE IN A SHED. Just because you are not out on the streets in the literal sense DOES NOT make this okay. And I would have a MAJOR problem with FIL and random strangers wandering through whenever they liked. You totally deserve a home of your own and your own space. I know there is nothing that can be done about it for a few months but I would definitely put your foot down about staying for very much longer- especially when Collier is here as the last thing that you need is this noise & hassle when you are feeding or have just got him to sleep. You, James & Collier are going to be a family and James has a duty to you both to understand that this is not an acceptable way to live. I wouldn't beat yourself up over it being 'rent-free' because really - who on EARTH would pay to live there???

For now though have lots of hugs Grit your teeth and look forward. Good luck with it all.

BTW - James DOES realise this can't go on doesn't he?

 

[ASD123456]

Oh Sarah it must be rubbish, I don't have much adivice afraid but I do feel for you

RANT SEVEN This one is silly i know but oh its get's on my nerves
IAN takes me to and from work somethimes when James is not hear or i cant get a lift from one of the girls at work.
HE BREATHS LOUDLY AND I MEAN LOUDLY THROUGH HIS NOSE
IT DRIVES ME INSANE I JUST WANT TO HIT HIM IN THE NOSE TO SHUT HIM UP
feel bad about this one too

That would drive me insane aswell
I would have to smash his head in. A work colleague of mine chews chewing gum very loudly and chomps and Iliterally have to grind my teeth to keep quiet and not go completley bananas. The hormones don't help either!

Alex xxx

 

[Suzie and Faith]

 

[Krystal]

 

[lella]

ITS MY BIRTHDAY A FEW DAYS LATER AND WHAT DID I GET FOR MY PRESENT FROM IN LAWS YEP A TIN OPENER
the thought did not count for me

The thought wouldnt count for me either! What a bloody cheek! They sound like my stepmom! It sounds like a nightmare, you cant go on like this. Your going to have to had a word with your OH and tell him how you feel. Esp on the privacy score.

 

[mrs_tommo22]

aww hunni, im sorry your feeling lke this, i lived with my mil for 3 month while waiting to pop and she drove me fooking mad, so i hear your moans and was saying the same things!!!!!

 

[dannii87]

Awww bless you hun!

Don't feel bad about ranting sweet, I couldn't do it! You really are a trooper for doing it for so long. There is a light though, you WILL eventually move on from this, and when you get a proper home with privacy and a real kitchen, you will be a lot more grateful than most because you'll know what it's like to be at the bottom.

I do think it's good to work your way up from the absolutely shittiest bottom because you truly appreciate everything you have and as you are such a wonderful and lovely person, I know you are owed a lovely home, if there is any justice out there!

I'm so sorry, but I absolutely p*ssed myself at the breathing through his nose thing!! It just reminded me of when I was younger, if I was angry at my dad his eating with his mouth open and slapping his chops used to drive me crazy!! LOL I'm so sorry

Most importantly babe, you are going to be a fantastic mum and will one day live in a lovely home and bring up a wonderful son with your morals as they are so it will all work out in the end.

Just remember, we all need to vent at times (for me, it's daily. Poor Lucie, aka HideiLu, has to put up with it all in PMs! )

BIIIIIIG hugs to you xxxx

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

awwwwwww thank you everyone
usally i try to make the most of it and get on with things
but the fact we could be here till Septmeber
Collier will 4months old then that gets to me its NOT a place to bring a child up
im ok for a litle while as Collier will be small and in a moses basket but when he gets bigger we need room for the cot.

When i mentioned to James about my feelings he said well my Dad dose need to get down there it is his Buisness
He's in Reading most of the time its not him putting up with it

Fair enough it is his buisness but i dont not want him and half the bloody world seeing me in my nighty
and god forbid me breast feeding when Collier comes along
as i say most of the time it ok as i still working but in 2 weeks time i'll be off for good
im so worried i may loose my temper
im so looking forward to the rest before Collier comes along but through the week (its not so bad at weekends) im going to have to contend with My in laws and all his customers


Danni
My Dad dose the same thing and he slurps his tea and soup it drove me crazy ans his snoring god dont get me started on that one

Thank you everyone for your kind replies

 

[lella]

I just had a thought about the privacy issue. The next time your FIL comes barging in when you are not dressed. Dont go running into another room, stay where you are and embarass him into knocking the next time he wants to come in. After all, when he brings his customers round he wont want them seeing a half naked girl.

 

[Sherlock]

I'd actually be inclined to talk to the in laws about a bit of privacy once you are home full time and especially after baby is born.

Yes he has his business but its not good to just barge in and not knock of give a bit of advance notice. You could be breastfeeding or something and I'd consider that invasive and rude. This is their grandchild also and I would hope they would be a little considerate to a babys needs for as long as you continue to live there.

They may not like it, but I don't think you and James sitting down and talking it over with them will be a bad thing. Just be honest and polite and say that especially when baby is here, could they please not come over without either a) a quick call first (if its before 10am say?) or b) to knock and wait for you to shout its ok, or answer etc.

I am trying to understand the layout of your room that means he walks through it. Does he just come in the door and down a hall? Or have to walk through an actual room? Is there any way you can screen it off?

I know you are saving for a mortgage, but if thats not going to happen anytime soon I'd seriously consider renting somewhere with James to tide you over. I'd not want to be stuck in the kind of situation you will be in with a small baby for any longer than I'd have to. I know having to pay rent might not be ideal, but if its that or a room with no privacy for you and your family I know which I'd take.

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

edited this
i moaned a but more then went and read some of the other posts on here
god im sorry for going on and i feel a bit embarrased
i have a roof over my head a man who loves me and a baby on the way

alot of peope, have it a hell of a lot worse then me


im so ashamed for ranting like this

 

[Sherlock]

edited this
i moaned a but more then went and read some of the other posts on here
god im sorry for going on and i feel a bit embarrased
i have a roof over my head a man who loves me and a baby on the way

alot of peope, have it a hell of a lot worse then me

im so ashamed for ranting like this

Don't be ashamed. You have a good reason to be upset.

I really do think you both need to talk to them about the walking in thing though. Esp once baby is here. As I said above and also as it could/would be embarrassing for his clients to walk in on you BF'ing or something. Explaining it from that POV about BF'ing might go over better than any other way you word it. I'm sure your FIL would rather his clients don't walk in on that.

You all deserve a bit of privacy and learning boundries once the baby is here. Also you will be trying to settle in with a new baby. You may be sound asleep at 9am having been awake for hours with a LO who would not settle. Those things happen and you have to be prepared to cut yourself a little slack there. And do James parents. You are not being lazy but you will need to sleep when your baby sleeps is the thing, in the early days.

I'd still look to moving if you can, even if its 6 months to a year short term. Doesn't have to be massive, just bigger than a room with very little privacy.

 

[1sttimemum]

You have absolutely every right to rant and rave. about this situation, I know james is trying his best for the future but he needs to think about the now, like other have said, he doesnt live in this shed all week, he has a nice bachelor pad hes renting, is he really going to want his baby in this sort of home?!!

Like sherlock said *(words of wisdom that woman) what about when you are breastfeeding, ya dont wana be barged in on then when you and your son are having a peaceful moment, or if you and your son had a bad night sleep wise the previous night, ya dont need him and his customers barging thru at even 3pm, when ya having an afternoon nap.

This situation isnt ideal Sarah and even if you do rent, itll be safer and better, Could you not move in with james for the time your off on maternity????

In the meantime please accept these

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

awww thanks Sherlock and Joanne

ive mentioned moving up when i go on maternity but he said no he need to continue sharing as if he rented a place just for us all savings we have made would go down the toilet and we'd have wasted the last 2 years of me living here and saving every penny we can to buy a place.

Ie forking out deposit first months rent ect ect then moving agian a few months later to where ever he tranfers to and forking out another depost first months rent/ motgage council tax
we would not have enough to afford it with me not earning


what worries me is that when gets to the stage Collier to big for the moses basket he will need to go into the cot ie putting it up in the store room as the bedroom is to small for the cot and bed
we still need heating put in there and it is still a store room.

but even all done up my collier will be right in the room where Ian and his customers need to go
james said we'll put the cot into the bedroom and move the bed into the store room ie me in my nighty still asleep when Ian walks in with half of the local gun club.
or even them coming in at anytime ie though the day as im relaxing watching telly or making a meal its still bloody annoying to be disturbed

he test shoots guns down in the bunker so this will disturb collier.

james said this is nonsense as he grew up around guns and it never bothered him.

i said im not happy being here so much longer and he said he's sorry but there is nothing he can do.
he cant afford a home yet we have to stay here and i'll just have to put up with it till he can transfer out of Reading and into the home office

My Mam and Dad arn't happy the last time they came down and saw that the store room still had not been converted my Man looked like she may blow a gasket.
she has told me she will not interfear in me and my sisters relationships but she is not happy with me being still in here when the baby arrives

and has warned if its not done up by the time they come down My Mam said she will cart me down to my Sisters house in Portsmouth and make me stay there.
jame isnt happy about this at all i know its hard for him to find the time to finish the shed as he works away and needs to catch up on stuff he cant do when in reading.

so im stuck girls and as much as im ashamed of moaning as i know other girls on here have been evicted from rented places and our struggling much more then me

i dont know how im going to cope with a new baby in this place i realy dont

 

[Sherlock]

OK I have one suggestion (which may go into a few more )

If you have room for a double bed in your bedroom atm, then consider something like this (obviously shop around for cheapest you can find)

Clicky here to see what I am on about

Now I know it will involve you having to part with some cash, but it may work out to be a cheaper solution and more practical than having to convert the store room.

It will mean that once out of the Moses basket your LO can then go into a cot and still stay in the room with you. You can get a chair under it also and be able to feed, cuddle etc without having to be intruded upon by your FIL and his customers. Changing etc, everything could be done under there if you get organised with your space. OK, you will need to climb down a ladder, but thats not the worst thing in the world is it? And if a small double is too big, then go for a single and have a bit more room still.

Also means you can have him in with you for as long as you remain there and not have to worry about your privacy being invaded.

You can get them in wood, metal and so on and if you get the right size won't need a mattress as you have one already They usually refer to them as 'high sleepers' or some such. Ebay has loads listed also.

I really do think its a good solution and you can have it in place easily enough and it will mean James is not under pressure to get a room ready. Plus the store sounds far from ideal for a baby, even when done up. I'm sorry but while James may not have minded guns etc, a small baby living directly over the bunker would bother me and yes could be disturbed by noise etc. James lived in the house not in the shed where you and Collier will be Also he is not there 7 days a week as you will be with a newborn baby. Small cramped unsuitable living accomadation can and probably will be hard work with a baby. If you are not happy in it all it won't be good for you or LO. You need to at least be organised and know in your mind you have a solution etc.

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

thanks Sherlock i'll have a closer look after work
James is back tonight so i'll show him your sugestion

thanks agian