I just had a really argument with my ex.. :(

[sazzleevans]

Hi

I would consider who you can go to. Is there anyone and let them know about your concerns in respect of contact. I wouldnt slag him off just say things have become heated and ask if they would be prepared to help if need be when dropping off the child. Keep sounding responable. Make it clear you want to add him to the birth certificate and you want him to know his daughter but mention, without going into too much detail, that he says hes going to take the baby and say this is worrying you.

Could you speak to someone in his family like that?

SARAH

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

((((

 

[Vicki83]

Ebony, at the end of the day it's not just you you need to think about here hun, it's your LO too. If he's threatened you already, whats to say he won't do it to the baby when he's "had a drink".

You really need to think long and hard about this, is it worth putting both yourself and your LO at risk??

 

[Jo]

Sweethaert you need to think long and hard before you take him back
From what you ahve said before he can turn on a pin

Listen to what your head is telling you and remember hormones are a powerful thing and if you are feeling down, it might seem like a good idea at the time to get back with him.

But what if he has s go at you now when you are carrying his child??

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

i know vicki.. and jo..

im just confused right now.. but can ppl change?

thats what im thinking.... but again... am i making excuses for him?

 

[Jaidy]

I think he has treated you appaulingly (sp?) Ebony and there is no way id let someone treat me like that, no matter how much I loved them.

Id be reluctant like you to let this man back into your life as I can only see you having more problems and you might get seriously hurt, I mean this guy threatened to kill you???

You had your heart set on not having his name on the birth cert the other day and now your considering having him back, my advice is to have a long, hard think about how its going to affect your life if you do take him back.

Only you can make the decision hunny

 

[Vicki83]

Well i've told you already in msn conversations about my ex, and i perosnally don;t think people can ever really change to be honest.

You are making excuses for him and you know you are!

I'm not meaning to be harsh on you , but as i said before it's not just you that you have to look after now hun is it.

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

i know but its so hard jaidy..

hes my first b/f.. weve been together nearly 4yrs...

i cant imagine not being with him ven tho he piss me off..

but i dunno if im feeling like this becaz im lonely at the mo....

sometimes i just need him for nice big cuddle...

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

Well i've told you already in msn conversations about my ex, and i perosnally don;t think people can ever really change to be honest.

You are making excuses for him and you know you are!

I'm not meaning to be harsh on you , but as i said before it's not just you that you have to look after now hun is it.

i know i am.. i know i have to first think of my baby...

i sound so selfish

 

[budge]

i think you should just keep your distance until baby is born ebony.
Your emotions are up and down while you are preggas and we tend to feel more vulnerable and lonely at this time too.
Try and occupy yourself with other things. Have friends over etc.

If your ex does want to come and see you suggest meeting in a neutral place and insist he is sober too.

you don't have to be with him - and once baby is born you will realise this

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

i know ur right budge.. and everyone else...

but its sooooo hard to do..

im also jealous...

i cant imagien him being with anyone else.. ill think ill go mad

 

[Hypnorm]

i know but its so hard jaidy..

hes my first b/f.. weve been together nearly 4yrs...

i cant imagine not being with him ven tho he p*ss me off..

but i dunno if im feeling like this becaz im lonely at the mo....

sometimes i just need him for nice big cuddle...

You WILL find someone else who will respect you more, and love you more.
This guy doesn't love you if he threatened to kill you and then take your baby, have you ever thought he could just be trying to get close to you again so his name is on the certificate.

I think you should stay well away from him untill baby is born and see how he reacts and how he treat baby, you can still be with him but not with if if you get what i meean. don't live together and don't be left alone together - what if he drinks and turns nasty again he may not know what he is doing through the drink.

think of the saftey of you and baby.

 

[Vicki83]

You've got to remember too that your hormones are going crazy right now which won't be helping matters!

You're not being selfish, as you said it;s your first serious bpyfriend and have been with him for 4 years, so it'll be force of habit you being with him and you'll be finding it hard without him, but that will change hun. You'll realise that you are better off without him.

 

[budge]

oh for fooks sake. Get your fat ass into gear and get over it Ebony! i thought you were a strong woman not a soggy pussy.

once you have that baby in your arms your ex will pale into insignifigance. Right now you need to tthink about keeping the two of you safe not exposing you both to a violent spineless fraction of a man like him.

 

[Jo]

I think a lot of growing up needs to happen in this realationship, mainly him.
He says it was drink that made him say thse things etc...
Easy solution don't drink

He didn't realise how the pregnacy would affect you both? so what does he do? thretens you and walks out!!!! he has finished with you twice already that i know about and if i remember 1 of them was either mns/txt

Not really mature is it??

I think personally if you do get back with him it won't be one child you have it will be 2!!


I know you said it would be hard to imagine him with someone else, but at least you won't be getting greif off him

And the bit i don't get is if he is such an arse why carry on letting his family think you are a fairytale couple???

It is not doing you or baby any good pretending


sorry if that sounded harsh.
I have seen stuff like this before and the situation ver rarley changes

at the end of the day it is your desicion we can only tell you how it looks from the outside

 

[Ebony_Mommy]

u know wat.. ur right ...

 

[jocymum]

You are making excuses for him, probably because you are lonely and confused. It goes without saying that you ' shouldn't ' get back with him.....but you know when you are really ready to end it and you sound like your not quite there yet
If you do get back with him just make damn sure it's on your terms and make sure his dad knows that too.
I honesly think that in a few years you'll look back and wonder what the hell you ever saw in him ( i'd put money on it ) but no-one can tell you when you are going to start feeling like that
Take care of yourself and LO