i feel stuck now.

[angiemum2b]

Well i lost my baby the 14th june, and have been feeling really down, and low.
My OH and i have been argueing loads as well which hasn't been helping much really.

We had a talk on wednesday night about the future i.e our wedding..more children...moving house etc and when i got to the children part he basically said he didn't want to try for anymore.

Which has totally devestated me , i DO want more children i know not right at the minute but i do still want 2 children.

Now i feel that losing the baby has changed his mind totally on future children.

Has anyone else's partner's done the same after M/C ? ?

 

[Bexter]

Hi, i'm really sorry you are having a hard time

My DH acted that way too. Whereas i was up for ttc straight after, he said he wanted to wait until next year.
But low and behold, 3 months later and he has now said he wants to start ttc immediately.

I think it's a blokey mecanism, where they shut down to stop themselves getting hurt again.

I'm sure once the hurt has lessened a little, he will want to start ttc agin like my DH did.

 

[jenna]

im so sorry hun.

Im sure he will just be saying that because hes upset.

 

[Ruthie]

I agree with Bexter, it is probably a bloke thing...

My other half didn't want to try again straight after whereas I did... We gave it a few months and he came round...

Maybe it's your OH way of being in control of a situation that he can not control... Give him time and understanding and maybe see if he'll talk about it again in another month or so...

Good Luck

 

[NIE]

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down, have some hugs

I agree, I thik that's how a lot of men deal with there emotions.

Look after yourself and let us know how you are doing. xxx

 

[katyk]

I had this before with a previous partner after m/c. Often men just don't like situations with change/extreme emotions. But it's only been a month for you.

I bet your OH will be up for TTC again, maybe even in a few weeks.

 

[Miracle babe]

I'm so sorry to hear this
My husband was like this after we lost but it wasn't because he was being mean or anything, it was his way of trying to protect me. He hated seeing me go through that agony and tried to be 'Mr Fix it' by saying never again. I think a lot of men can be like this and we sometimes misinterpret it as not caring. I'm not saying this is the case with your OH but maybe its something to consider.

 

[tracey 2]

hi hun,

like most of the girls have said most blokes find it hard to deal with their emotions let alone share them. give it time hun he is proberly hurting as much as you but the grieving process for anyone is hard he doesnt want you to go through the same thing again, he will come around im sure.

hope your ok hun, you have my number so give me a ring or text if you need to talk at all

 

[breezee1984]

i considered giving up myself...my husband says he wants more but seems to be nt really willing to try...so yeah i know how u feel..im dealing with being childless after my loss so i feel your pain sweetie

 

[Steelgoddess]

You both need to take time out right now to clear your heads, I think now is not the best time to discuss having more but know that maybe the loss has hit him in a bad way he will come round, guys always say stuff the don't mean...

Give it a few more months and then maybe discuss it again maybe even discuss having therapy to discuss your loss and how you both feel...

I hope you feel better soon its not easy...
hugs and kisses coming your way

xxxx