I feel like an idiot !!

[GemGemxxx]

I found out I was pregnant on Thursday though I had known for weeks within myself , I started bleeding on Saturday lightly but within a couple if hours it was a darker red and since then I goes light red brown and then light again . Went to do and they said its so early that they can't see anything but having mild cramps and achy cervix so prob a miscarriage but scan on a week today as that would be six weeks . I thought I was ok about it but went to work today and got a bad cramp so automatically held my stomach . At this point a member if staff came round the corner and said oh sore tummy, are you pregnant ?? I welled up and went up to my manger and told her I was having a miscarriage and broke down like totally sobbing my heart out . She sent me home for a couple of days and now I'm sitting here feeling like an idiot for causing such a scene .
The doc said that they can't say for sure that I am having a miscarriage but I know myself I am. Apart from sore boobs and nipples all other pregnancy feelings have gone .
What if I'm wrong though ? What if I still am and I've went and broke down and said to my work that this has happened ?
This may sound very sulky to you but this is everything that is going through my head just now and I have no one I feel I can say this to as I'm a very private guarded person.
Xxxxxxx

 

[5Element]

YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT GEMGEM! Far from it! I am so sorry hun that you have to go through this. I can really understand your feelings as I went through something similiar with my first mc. I was pg and started to bleed and went to A&E. When they did a scan and bloods everything came back negative and I felt soooo stupid, like I was making up that I was pg (I did have a clearblue test that said 1-2 weeks and photos to prove it!!) They just wrote in the results that I had a period even though I knew I was pg. I too lost all the pg feelings and felt terrible. I felt like I was a hoax, making up that I was pg.

Take time for yourself and dont give a hoot what others think about you. YOU ARE NUMBER 1 at the moment. It is such a rollercoaster time going through a mc but I can promise you there are lots of wonderful ladies on here that helped me so much over the last few weeks and you will find so much help and comfort here too!

Ps. Dont forget - if you are still pg then you can go back to work with your head held high with the happiest news EVER!!

BIG HUGS TO YA XXXXXXX

 

[GemGemxxx]

Thank you so much , it's comforting to hear from someone that has gone through this . It's just hit me with a bang today. I barely had time to have it sink in that I was finally pregnant before it looking like its all over . It's just so crazy and my emotions are everywhere .
I am so sorry for your loss , you know you were pregnant, that's all that matters and you had the had the hormones and the feelings and no one can take that away from you or try and diminish your experience to a late period .
Sending lots of love xxxx

 

[danilegury]

Wow this hasn't happened to me but i did have a scare. Was able to save the baby at the last moment.

Perosnally i believe in not falling in the past but springing into the future.

Keep trying it will be worth it.

 

[leean10]

Hi GemGem,

I am sorry you are going through this and I am thinking of you.

I found out I was pg for the 4th time in June (after my 3rd mc in the March) and within a week I had lost all my symptoms and it was all over.

It is so hard and you are not stupid at all, and as 5Element said, you are number 1 at the moment so take the time you need and I am crossing my fingers that it isn't bad news for you after all.

Keep strong hon

Lee-Ann xx

 

[jojo3972]

Hey ur not an idiot ur just human bless ya and I hope thatbu are still pregnant wen u go for ur scan and it does not matter what u told ur work if ur still pregnant that's bloody fantastic and I'm sure ur boss won't care what u said all u have to say is they got it wrong I wasn't miscarriaging after all, don't worry about what u will tell them just concentrate on that little bit of hope there is gd luck hope it turns out ok for you xxx

 

[itisbabytime]

Hey, ur not an idiot!

U don't say how far u think you are? Has your hcg measured, its the best way to see what is goin on. Is this going to be done?

 

[GemGemxxx]

Hi, I would be 5 weeks today, I was 4+4 when I started bleeding. No one has mentioned getting hcg levels measured, just the scan. All my pregnancy symptoms are well and truly gone except the sore boobs but that is decreasing day by day.Getting really bad cramps with the bleeding today, like proper heavy period cramps . xx

 

[laurat]

Oh honey, Im so sorry for your loss! You are certainly not an idiot! Big hug! Take care of yourself!!! Xxxxxx

 

[JJ Mum]

Gem - your so not an idiot, Your work and coleagues will all understand and leave things unmentioned at work as Mc is a sensititve subject, and one you should rightly have time off for

I'm so sorry, I hope your scan went smoothly XX

 

[rosiewalker33]

Your far from an idiot, i had similar happen to me, last week 8bfp adn yday the start of a heavy bleed an 2 bfn
Feel like everything has been snatched away before my eyes, i thought id be ok but cant face work today been up all night

Dont ever feel silly or let anyone else tell you that you are, only you know how you feel. I find it comforting to talk to others in the same sitation who have similar feelings to myself.
Take care gem gem hope you get everything your hoping for xx

 

[5Element]

Rosiewalker I am so sorry for you too. I hope you are not intending to go to work today, in fact for as long as you need to stay at home. It does you good to take some time for yourself and go back when the feeling comes that the routine will do you good!

Look after yourself! XXXXX

 

[rosiewalker33]

Rosiewalker I am so sorry for you too. I hope you are not intending to go to work today, in fact for as long as you need to stay at home. It does you good to take some time for yourself and go back when the feeling comes that the routine will do you good!

Look after yourself! XXXXX

Thank you, no i havent gone into work, having a 'bed day'
I work looking after babies so in this situation i fear its going to be harder for me to settle back into a normal work routine with a smile on my face xx

 

[5Element]

You need some extra big hugs! That seems to be extra hard. I can understand you alittle as the day my 2nd mc happened was the day my friend gave birth to her son and it was so hard to be happy for her, but i had to be as she didnt know that I was pg.

But time does heal I can promise you - so long as you take proper care of yourself now. I cant promise you it wont be hard to go back but take one step at a time and your sticky BFP will come!

XXXXXX

 

[GemGemxxx]

Rosiewalker, I am so sorry you are going through this just now . Take the time you need and I'm here if you need to talk .
It really is helpful to talk to people that have been through this . My husband is being an absolute star and he is so disappointed at what's happened but at the same time he didn't believe I was pregnant when I kept telling him that I knew I was , for him I have been pregnant since last Thursday and started bleeding on Saturday but for me I have been feeling this for 4 weeks so its a lot harder . I can't believe how much I hate not feeling pregnant anymore .its just makes me feel hollow.
Rosiewalker I pray that we both get super sticky beans very soon xxxxxxx

 

[rosiewalker33]

Rosiewalker, I am so sorry you are going through this just now . Take the time you need and I'm here if you need to talk .
It really is helpful to talk to people that have been through this . My husband is being an absolute star and he is so disappointed at what's happened but at the same time he didn't believe I was pregnant when I kept telling him that I knew I was , for him I have been pregnant since last Thursday and started bleeding on Saturday but for me I have been feeling this for 4 weeks so its a lot harder . I can't believe how much I hate not feeling pregnant anymore .its just makes me feel hollow.
Rosiewalker I pray that we both get super sticky beans very soon xxxxxxx

Thank you hun, so glad your husband is being supportive my OH is a star too, but like you say it is differnet for them, i feel the same as you hun, lost and empty. I know everything happens for a reason but you cant help but wonder why me??

was is your 1st pregnancy and mc?

It was mine, i think thats why its so hard to take in as ive always just imagined it being the best time ever, a fairytale bfp and the best 9 months of my life then within a week its gone?!

Im alrady thinking of ttc again which deep down i feel selfish about but i do feel i need this... just trying to decide wheter to wait a while or jump straight back in at the deep end so to speak...

fingrs X for us both hun, hope you get everything you wish for xxx

 

[rosiewalker33]

You need some extra big hugs! That seems to be extra hard. I can understand you alittle as the day my 2nd mc happened was the day my friend gave birth to her son and it was so hard to be happy for her, but i had to be as she didnt know that I was pg.

But time does heal I can promise you - so long as you take proper care of yourself now. I cant promise you it wont be hard to go back but take one step at a time and your sticky BFP will come!

XXXXXX

Thank you hun, luckily i do work with lovely people who are also my close friends and are being very supportive

xxxx

 

[5Element]

You are very lucky that you can talk and have support of people there, the forum here is the only place I can talk to people (apart from my wonderful OH). That horrid empty feeling was the worst for me too. The second time round I really really FELT pg and then I felt so empty but I kept telling myself that it was just the hormones and now they have settled down (apart from losing hair everywhere ) and I am getting slowly back into the swing of the thought of ttc again. After the first MC I wanted desperately to try again straight away but this time I am soooo happy to wait and enjoy being with the wonderful ladies here and just wait for my time to come. It will happen sooner than you think!!!!

Sorry, I hope i dont babble on but it is still all so fresh and I can soooo understand you both!

Take care and treat yourself to something good! XXXXXXX

 

[cers123]

This is exactly what happened to me bfp sunday bfp monday i had jknown i was pregnant and worked out bout 7 weeks .... Then on friday bleeding and a bfn n doc on monday confirmed to early to detect and proba nothing but i knew it was an mc and i passed a massive clot and the pain wen i mc'd... Also was in work that friday and cried my eyes out had a few days off and regrouped then was able to go back to work .... DO NOT PUT YOURSELF DOWN!! U know ur own body and it tells u so much just listen ... Wen i passed the clot i knew my baby was gone and i was heartbroken ... Feel wjat you need to... Go through ur emotions .... Big big big hugs xxxxx

 

[beckylou713]

Similar thing has just happened to me. I would have been 6 weeks today but was told at this morning's scan that I have had a miscarriage. I had a horrible time yesterday - I started bleeding so called NHS direct who said I needed to get an ambulance. I ended up in the A&E waiting room for hours, bleeding and in pain, and really just wish I had been allowed to do it at home. I finally saw gynae dr at 1030 last night, and had a scan this morning, which told me what I already knew.

Still feeling a bit numb at the moment, trying to be positive for my family, who are obviously worried about me.

Sorry for the others on this thread who are going through this too. It's good to talk to people who have an idea of how you are feeling, so sending big hugs to everyone.