I feel bad for my dad =/

[jazzmum2be]

My dads got m.s (Multiple sclarosis), hes had it since he was 21. Hes fully wheelchair bound now, but can transfer from his chair to the sofa and the same to his bed. Like today as he was getting up from the sofa into his chair he fell and was on the floor. In the end I called an ambulance so they came and picked him up. My dad isnt the best tempered of people (mainly due to his illness) but because Im pregnant iv been told by lots of people not to lift him or do anything like that. He thinks its rubbish and when I refuse to lift him hell start shouting at me and call me selfish and imature. I feel really bad because hes lying there on the floor helpless and I can't do anything about it. But I dont want to put the safety of my baby at risk. I just hate seeing him like this really and I get so upset most nights when Im trying to get to sleep, just thinking about how hard it must be for him, most nights Ill end up sobbing for hours about the fact he wont have a super long life like some people, and it makes me sad he probobly wont be here to see me get married and walk me down the isle. I mean my dads told me to go to my nans this christmas, because all my mums familly get together at my nans and we have a roast and play games etc, but then my dad doesnt have a wife, so hell be sat here all on his own for christmas watching tv, no one should be alone for christmas, but on the other hand I want to spend it with my mum as well. So I really dont no what to do this year =/ Its like however much he sometimes gets on my nerves and we shout at each other and he does things I dont agree on (like calling me a b*tch if I dont make him a coffee quick enough, or If I dont JUMP when he asks me to do something) hes still my dad and I love him and I just hate thinking that one day hes not going to be here, and it really upsets me just thinking about it. The other day I was crying so much not just my eyes puffed up, my lips puffed up too. They looked huge lol.
Sorry its so long, just felt like getting things outa my system and stuff

 

[nazmomi]

My mum has MS too so I know how your feeling. We have been through some really tough times over the past few years, its a hard illness to come to terms with and it's hard to have a parent who suffers from it.
As far as lifting your dad I think you did the right thing but I appreciate that it must have been awful for you. I remember having a call from my dad once as my mum had fallen when he was getting into bed and he couldn't lift her (he has back problems)I went to help and seeing my parents like that was very distressing.
As far as christmas is concerned could you have dinner with your mum and spend the rest of the day with your dad??
I know it can be hard to cope with the moods sometimes but unfortunately it can be due to the illness. I had a long talk with my mum and realised that she felt awful as she couldn't help out with the kids etc and it was getting her down. Truth is practically she can't but she's always around with advice (sometimes too much) and is always willing to listen if i need her to.
hugs for you it does help to talk about it. U can PM me any time u like hun xxxx

 

[SarahH]

Awww, hun I had a very good family friend that had MS, it is a horrible illness!

I also know what it is like to feel like the useless daughter, my Mum passed almost 7yrs ago with cancer and I was her full time carer for a long while... you just feel so helpless at times, but beleive me I am sure your Dad is thankful to have you as a daughter

 

[jazzmum2be]

As far as christmas is concerned could you have dinner with your mum and spend the rest of the day with your dad??

My nans is a 2 hour drive from where my dad lives =/
I just feel terrible that iv got myself pregnant and I feel like Im letting him down so much =/
Thanks for all the lovely words though guys

 

[nazmomi]

dont feel terrible. Once your LO arrives i'm sure it will be a really positive influence in your dads life. You haven't let anyone down at all, he will be proud seeing his daughter turn into a fantastic mother.

 

[Krystal]

aww sweetie.. no advice i'm afraid but you deserve lots of hugs you sound like a lovely caring daughter and your parents are both lucky to have you

 

[jazzmum2be]

Thanks huni
I don't feel it sometimes though, sometimes my dad can wind me up so much iv just left him in town at the coffee shop and gone off and left him and gone shopping. His temper just gets too much sometimes. I just feel scared that when he does go, he wont no how much I do love him and would of left thinking I didnt care about him or something

 

[Krystal]

I doubt that very much I'm sure he's aware of how much yu love him. it sounds like you do a lot for him. He probably worries about the same thing because of his temper/frustration. Have you tried talking to him and explaining how you feel?

 

[jazzmum2be]

No =/ I feel bad when I mention his illness cause I dont want to upset him.
Iv never really been good at being open about things, I normally just keep how I feel inside

 

[nazmomi]

it might do you good to talk about it, maybe he doesnt realise how it is making you feel. As for talking about his illness I used to be like that with my mum and when we finally did talk about it It felt so much better. We had both been seeing things from our own point of view and not each others. x

 

[aramintalovegrove]

 

[jazzmum2be]

Ill give it a go at talking him tomorrow, I just normally cant find the words to say what I mean lol
Hugs to everyone

 

[Serendipity_]

Talk to him, tell him how you feel. I bet he knows how much you love him.