I Don't Know What To Do :(

[dannii87]

OK, so I don't know whether I should post this in Ask A Mum section too because ideally I'd like opinions from you girls AND ladies who have already had their babies (as they have been through it & also aren't experiencing the excitement of meeting their LOs! I need unbiased opinions)

I've never been in hospital for anything other than a little appt for psoriasis or an X-Ray. I AM scared of hospitals, but it's more that if I have to be in hospital, I'd rather GO there IN pain, instead of going there with no pain KNOWING they're going to put me in pain and I could be there for hours just waiting for pain to start and I can't think of anything worse

Anyway, I can't decide how I feel about labour. I don't want to be induced, but as each day passes, I'm slowly losing hope of doing this naturally. I just feel like my body won't do it properly and I will end up being induced anyway, despite wanting to avoid it at all costs;

My Pros To Declining Induction:
- I will give myself a few days/couple of weeks extra to try and go into labour naturally (depending how long they are happy to leave it)
- I will be able to ENTER the hospital already in pain (instead of them causing pain iykwim?)
- I won't be alone at the hospital (sometimes they send your birthing partner home until the induction starts working and I don't want to be alone )

My Cons To Declining Induction:
- The longer I leave it, the more anxious I'm getting about labour and part of me thinks it might be best to just grab the induction date and get it over & done with instead of allowing myself time to worry more?
- I'll have a set date in my head for when things will start happening (this could also be a pro for declining actually?! )
- I might never go into labour naturally and will end up having to be induced anyway but have just spent an extra week or whatever waiting for things to happen naturally and causing more stress?
- The longer I leave it, the worse it is on Evie's health.

I'm seeing the MW tomorrow and I assume she'll give me an induction date? Can I have an induction date but maybe tell her that I might decide to decline it nearer the time after having a deeper think about it?

Since about lunchtime, this is ALL I can think about... I can't decide what I *actually* want to do...

(P.S - Please put your own feelings aside with wanting to meet your LOs and try to put yourself in my shoes if you can pweeeeese! I want opinions based on what you would do in MY position... Not what you'd do in your situation iykwim?!)

xx

 

[Noor~ul~Usman]

To be honest I believe that a baby will 'normally' come when it's good and ready.
As long as the midwife agrees I'd let it get into the 42 week mark to give her a chance and THEN book an induction date if nothing has progressed and/or if they are worried about leaving it too long. This should grab you at least a extra few days as I doubt they'd be able to give you one for the next day or anything. So you'd hopefully be closer to 43 weeks+ before having to be induced and would have given your body a good chance to have got on with things (IYKWIM)

I don't think there's any shame in being induced but I don't agree with MW/doctors TELLING you to do it as soon as you go over 40 weeks unless they have a good medical reason

My brother was apparently over due and they induced my mum but when he was born he was purple/red with no hair and really wrinkled so he obviously needed the 'extra cooking time'

As for being scared of the hospital and being alone etc - so am I. But it if you think about it, it makes sense that they have these rules to stop over crowding etc and so it's just one last thing to be brave about
Just because your birth partner wont be there the WHOLE time - they can still be there once labours established and you REALLY need them

 

[*Star*]

hmm it's a tough one. could you ask your midwife you give you a sweep tomorrow.
you'll be able to go home after it and hopefully it will kick start labour!

 

[Ally1979]

I think the first step is to talk to the MW and see what they say. Obviously the choice at the end of the day is up to you but if i were in your shoes i would base my decision on the information from the midwife in the next visit. If you and Evie are well and healthy then wait, but perhaps set yourself a deadline in your head?

 

[samsmom]

Hi Danni,

Have never actually posted in Tri 3 before as my baby is now a year old, but I am on the forum LOADS!

I just thought I would ask you if you have considered reflexology? I had a few problems when I was pregnant with my son (raised bp and gestational diabetes) and the consultants kept talking about a c-section or induction. I didn't really want any intervention and saw a reflexologist for an hours appointment. My baby was already engaged at this point. The next day my waters broke!! Because of my bp and diabetes I ended up being induced anyway, but it was much better than I could have imagined and I had a quick, smooth induction and delivery.

Reading that back I'm not sure that I have offered any real advice, sorry.

All I can do is say "GOOD LUCK!".

 

[Laur_250]

I honestly think if I hadnt been early and had been late (which I seriously expected to be) I would have felt the same about induction and declined it. I really would rather let nature take its course UNLESS they gave me a reason as to why they felt it neccesary. I told my MW about my fear of being induced at one of my 1st appts and she agreed its better not to meddle with nature as once you start you have to carry on meddling. I agree with your idea, tell her that you dont want to be induced, however if you go past a certain date (discuss this with her) then you will re-consider. I bet you'll go into labour naturally anytime soon and this wont be an issue anyway, im sure of it xx

 

[Daffodil]

Hi Danni

Trying to keep my feelings out of it...here is some information which might help you decide. It is from the homebirth website but it applies even when you deliver in hospital.

Are you really "overdue"?The chances are that you will not actually reach 42 weeks anyway, as when the date of conception is known, this is quite unusual. Many pregnancies which are thought to be "overdue" are just inaccurately dated.

Standard pregnancy dating based on your last period date (LMP) is only accurate if you have a 28-day cycle and you ovulated on day 14. If your cycles are sometimes longer than this then there is a good chance that your due date is actually later than the 'standard' one.

Conception has to happen in the 24 hours after ovulation - you cannot conceive before your egg has been released, but the egg dies if unfertilized 12-24 hours later. So your most accurate way of dating the pregnancy is knowing when you ovulated. This is not necessarily on a day when you had sex; sperm can survive for up to four days, possibly longer, so the intercourse which resulted in conception could have occurred several days before the actual conception. If you have been charting your cycles or practising natural family planning you will know all about this - if not, see the links on dating your pregnancy for more info.

One very thorough study of over 24,000 pregnant women in the UK who had dating scans which were compared with their LMP date [1], found that:

"Most pregnancies undergoing post-term induction are not post-term when assessed by ultrasound dates"

A review of the study noted that:

"If we look at how many women end up going 2 weeks over their due date, it is 9.5% according to dating by LMP but only 1.5% when dated by scan. This suggests that the dating of pregnancy by LMP tends to overestimate the gestation. Therefore if scan information is available, it is preferable to use this for dating a pregnancy (presuming it was carried out during the first half of pregnancy, when dating is most accurate)." [2]

Ultrasound scans for dating are pretty accurate in the first trimester, but get less and less accurate as time goes on.

Sometimes a scan will suggest that your due date is actually later than the LMP date, but the revised date may not have been entered on your notes as your 'new' due date. Check that any recommendations for induction are based on the most accurate assessment of your due date, not on LMP dating.

Even if you are genuinely post-dates, your chances of going into labour naturally increase with every day which passes:

"of women at 40 weeks, 65% labour spontaneously within the next week. Of those at 10 days over their dates, 60% will enter spontaneous labour within the next 3 days." [2]

Also regarding the risks of being overdue:

But what if you really are "overdue"?
It is undeniable that the rate of stillbirths and neonatal deaths does rise as pregnancy becomes more and more prolonged. However, many of these deaths are due to congenital abnormalities, or occur in babies with intra-uterine growth restriction. It is not clear how much the death rate rises for normal babies who do not show any signs of being growth-restricted. It can be alarming to hear that the death rate for pregnancies over 42 weeks doubles, but it is perhaps more informative to let people know the figures rather than the relative chance. Some sources suggest that the death rate for apparently normal babies, ie those without detected abnormalities, may rise from around 1 in 1,000 to 2 in 1,000. See the US Midwife Archive detailed paper on post-dates pregnancy.

Dawn

 

[soverign]

Hi hun I just wanted to let you know that induction isn't so bad. I was induced at 37+ weeks due to pre eclampsia. I just about lived in hospital since 32 weeks. I was very well looked after and ate like a queen!

I didn't actually find the whole induction process painful really either. The most painful part was inserting the prostin every few hours. I was very scared about being induced at first, I was completely against it. They told me that my son was at risk but I could decline if I wanted. I let them do what they had to do, what ever they thought was best for the baby. I know I made the right choice.

I just wanted to let you know that there are people who have had a positive experience and I hope you make the decision that is right for you. It isn't so scary!

 

[dannii87]

Thank you so much ladies I agree with everyone tbh, which doesn't help! lol

Noor: That's what I'm thinking... More for me being a bit scared of it all rather than believing babies come when they're good & ready though if I'm honest, but I agree with the general gist!

Star: For Bedford hospital ladies my MW told me they don't offer sweeps (but will ask tomorrow, even if she says no, I guess I could always ask!)

Ally: You're right... I might print this off and just wait to speak to her... She might sway my decision tomorrow!

samsmom: I'm glad to hear you didn't have a bad experience with induction, it's good to read that considering my worries!

Laura: Yeah you're right too, just be open to both scenerios and see what happens...

Daffodil: Those quotes are really interesting The second one has scared the shite out of me though! I might add that to my list of cons for declining an induction!!

sovereign: Thank you for posting that! I see this horrible black cloud attached to inductions which is probably the route of how I'm feeling I think I might go check out some more birth stories where women were induced and have a better think about it.

xxx

 

[x Naomi x]

Hiya hun - speaking from my position whereby i will be induced probably in the next 12-14 hours unless i progress first

It seems wierd that i will actually be taking myself in to be given pain, i never take paracetemol, never get headaches so this is big time to me

If i had a low risk pregnancy i would be in no rush to be induced, i wanted a home birth after all, babies will come when they are ready, the fact that i am dilating myself obviously means that my LO is gettin fed up in there already

Without all these high tech scans, in the past, people must have just gone with the flow and i think sometimes the medical proffession are very quick to jump im

 

[Daffodil]

Daffodil: Those quotes are really interesting The second one has scared the shite out of me though! I might add that to my list of cons for declining an induction!!

eek sorry!!!

What I took from that last quote is that the risk is normally 1/1000 but that risk only rises to 2/1000 if you are overdue upto 14 days. So even though they say the risk doubles, the risk is still only 2/1000. Which is good.

Didn't mean to scare you.

Dawn

 

[dannii87]

No Dawn, seriously, thank you for posting that. I've been looking into it online and on the NHS website and it says the same. I'm starting to wonder if the risks are worth it I don't think so..

I didn't even think about the risks, only my own selfish worries I'm just going to arm myself with info I've collected tomorrow and just hope my MW will give me an honest opinion!! xx

 

[lea m]

Im gonna Pm you hun!!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Even though i didn't want to be induced and wanted a home birth i let them give me an induction date and would have decided nearer the time what to do.You've still got a good chance of going into labour naturally. Maybe if the midwife does suggest a date ask for it to be 13/14 days over - so you've given yourself time but you'd be induced before any risk increased.

I HATE hospitals - hence why i wanted a home birth! And I didn't enjoy my hospital experience but neither was it a bad one! Remember whatever happens that the most important thing is Evie will get here and you will be a mummy and the rest of the details can be forgotten once she is here!


hugs and labour dust to you!

 

[Steelgoddess]

Hey Danni Dan Dan,

sorry to hear you are all in a kerfuffle about the induction stuff i understand it must be stressful...

I think overdue could mean a few things. it does not necessarily mean baby is late, I know they have scans/measurements etc but baby may not be fully cooked just yet... As a few others pointed out babies come when they are ready a sad but true fact and the majority of bubbas especially first ones are late...

I agree with the others that you still have a very good chance of going into labor naturally... And whilst yes the uterine conditions do start to deteriorate a bit after the 40wk mark, I really cannot see your baby being in any danger otherwise they would have picked up on this prior to now... I agree with Suzie wait out the full 2 weeks (until 42wks) i also think at least then you can mentally say you have done all you can do, but at the same time don't hang on just to prove a point this is YOUR decision and YOUR baby...

Also have you maybe thought about some natural induction options? Samsmom has made a good suggestion, also what about meditating pass on some good vibes to bubs and let her know its OK to come out, go for long brisk walks, but also make sure you rest too when you need to...

Might be an idea to ask about others experience of induction was like you have listed already which is fab is both scenarios have pros and cons, no way is the right way.

Always remember your decision is final, no one can make it for you not even the midwives or consultants. I've also heard of ppl going in for inductions and woop contractioncs begin naturally typical eh?

 

[lea m]

I've also heard of ppl going in for inductions and woop contractioncs begin naturally typical eh?

Yeh my mum went into be induced with my lil sis and had the gel, did nothing, had it again, did nothing!They gave her a day they were going to give her the drip and she went into spontaneous labour anyways!

 

[Steelgoddess]

I've also heard of ppl going in for inductions and woop contractioncs begin naturally typical eh?

Yeh my mum went into be induced with my lil sis and had the gel, did nothing, had it again, did nothing!They gave her a day they were going to give her the drip and she went into spontaneous labour anyways!

Without meaning to sound dodgey, but isnt that gel the same thing as love sauce? Hence why they say have jiggy to start labour??

 

[abcd1234]

I was adiment i didnt want to be induced, yes i tried every self induction method under the sun, but i only did that cos i thought that i'd only help if my body was ready for labour anyway.

Not sure about other hospitals but if i'd have made my 41 week appointment i'd have been offered another sweep (i know you dont get one) and checked she was ok, and i'd have an appointment with a consultant at 10 days over, they'd then be looking to induce at 12 days over. If i turned down induction (this wasnt given as an option to me in their convo though *why cant i find hte rolly eye smiley???*) they'd ahve monitored me and her daily from then on, they'd scan me to check the placenta was still ok and monitored her a lot.

I know they say you may not be due when your overdue blah blah blah but i knew when she was due, my cycle was spot on, my scans siad exactly the same dates all the way through and when she came out my placenta had started to degrade, i think if she hadnt have come out naturally they would have recommended induction due to this.

I quite liked knowing that if she hadnt of come out by herself i could choose to end it then but i was determined not to have to, hense trying everything to get her out.

I was feelign so shit at 5 days over, i was even begining to think i wasnt pregnant, just fat, and she'd never come out, i still wasnt ready for her when she came though

 

[fran_23]

hi Dannii ..firstly just to say i know its easy to assume the worst and its very good to be mentally prepared for any situation but i know a lot of us on here went quite overdue and it happened naturally for us. I went 9 days over and i felt the same as you, it could happen anytime for you hun before it comes to induction and as loads have said you do not have to opt for that, you've got a good head on your shoulders and if it comes to it you now have all the info you need to make a decision that you feel is right for you and Evie..I also believe babies come when they are good and ready!! and don't think your body isn't working properly remember your due date is just a guide anyway its not an exact science. I think the hardest thing is you have a long 9 month wait and you have this date in your mind from early on and you have a big build up to it, its something to focus on and you just get to that date and think i should have my baby by now..but thats not always the case as you know..lol!! i'm not that good with advice i've noticed lately but i think some words of encouragement are just as good and some hugs

I hope for you it doesn't come down to making this choice as i imagine it to be stressful, i know i was stressed i had been given my induction date and to be honest i never thought to question it or opt out..so i had it in my head that it was gonna happen and luckily it didn't get to that, i think when it comes round to it you'll know what you want to do- btw i feel the same as you about hospitals i had to be dragged there by my parents coz i kept saying "its ok i'm not in full labour they will send me home" god i have waffled on all night! hope it makes some sense to you! xx

 

[dannii87]

Thank you ladies Fran, yeah it did make sense! lol thank you!

Clare, thanks for posting too

xx