I didn't think it would be emotionally this hard

[Tonya]

This is my first post me and dh have been ttc for 3 months now and I know that isn't that long when we started ttc I didn't expect it to happen immediately I kind of know the basic statistics up to a year ect... it's just this baby thing seems to have consumed as soon as we started ttc. (I wasn't crazy b4 ) I swear I feel like my body is tricking me every month so far I have what I think at the time is pregnancy symptoms and af is late I get excited thinking about it pee on a damm stick and half hour later af shows up all singing and dancing and I am left feeling devastated literally I didn't think I would be like this but curling up in a ball and crying is about all I feel like doing how do you all cope when af arrives

 

[Loveandpeace]

Hugs to you Tonya!

I am only about 4-5 months into TTC and didn't really 'try' for the first 2 months as felt pretty laid back about it. Now I am fully on the TTC train lol!
There is no denying how deflated you feel when you get BFN after BFN and when AF shows up. Every month I feel phantom symptoms and almost have myself convinced that I'm preg, no matter how many times I try not to obsess in the 2WW!
I know it's hard but try not to allow it to take over your life and relationship, enjoy having BC free sex with your DH and put your trust in the universe that it WILL happen when the time is right. You usually find that the month that someone gets a BFP is was when they weren't expecting it or they relaxed a bit more or occupied themselves.
There are so many ladies here who feel the same as you and you are not alone. This is a good space to vent and share your journey, highs and lows.
I cried my lamps out when AF last showed but you just have to pick yourself up and enjoy life in between it all.

xxx

 

[Tonya]

Thank you I think I am feeling particularly miserable this month because my best friend has just told me she is pregnant by accident grrrrr green eyes!!! I am trying to look on the bright side me and dh are going on holiday next week and I was stressing b4 thinking I may be pregnant at least now I know I am not I can let my hair down have a few drinks maybe next month I will be lucky good luck to you xx

 

[JulyBug]

I totally get your frustration, it took us 5 months to conceive and of course that's not a very long time but it does FEEL like a long time as each month passes so I know how you feel. You have to give it time unfortunately, I had decided to go to the doctors and begin finding out if there were any issues if I hit the 6 month mark but luckily we didn't have to..

You really do have to try and ignore the 'symptoms' !.. The month I conceived I had no symptoms or if I did I wasn't giving them any thought.. my only clue was a very obvious sharp implantation pain, 2 days later BFP!

Good luck xx

 

[Loveandpeace]

Thank you I think I am feeling particularly miserable this month because my best friend has just told me she is pregnant by accident grrrrr green eyes!!! I am trying to look on the bright side me and dh are going on holiday next week and I was stressing b4 thinking I may be pregnant at least now I know I am not I can let my hair down have a few drinks maybe next month I will be lucky good luck to you xx

I know how you feel hon. Two of my good friends are pregnant and both due in July. One friend actually hurtfully said to me 'I am glad I am not the last one to get pregnant' to me (I am the last one of our group of friends lol) so things like that do not help! But the way I see it is that its saving the best til last .

Go off and enjoy your holiday with DH, relax and have a few drinks and have fun! It will be just what you need and may help to relax you for TTC next month!

I am just into the 2ww now and hubby and I heading to Amsterdam this weekend for our wedding anniversary. I am obviously conscious about being able to have a few drinks, but I am not going to be completely tee total and refrain from celebrating our anniversary either.
Good luck and keep us posted xx

 

[treetrunks]

I totally get how you feel Tonya, we have been ttc 2 years now, it was alot more frustrating in the beginning for me. Now im kind of just obsessed but accept af more easily because Im used to it. This month has been a hard one but im planning some home improvements to keep me otherwise occupied and looking at a break away.
I think you are in early days yet and chances are you will conceive very soon. Lots of couples take pregnacare conception and say it helps them, worth a try?
Good luck xx

 

[Summertime]

Know exactly how you feel, I think it's the waiting bit that makes it worse and no matter what month it is it's still disappointing when AF shows up. You're right though about the stats if you keep consistently trying to have a great chance of being pregnant within a year.

This month I've tried to change my attitude to hoping for a BFP by Xmas time rather than right now!!x

 

[Taz]

3.5 years tcc here so I hear ya! To be honest I think I was crazier during our first 6 months ttc haha. Now I'm just getting on with it. We have had all the relevant checks, we're both in perfect health, I just can't catch that seed!

It just takes time hun, and you're not alone. Take advantage of being able to dtd without interruption while you still can ��

 

[Tonya]

Thanks everyone think I just needed a wake up call to snap me out of my self pity good luck to everyone here I hope it happens for you all soon x

 

[Alexis2017]

I am feeling the same. We have been trying since January and it feels forever. I am surrounded by pregnant friends and work colleagues so its very hard. I cried alot the last time my af showed up. My body has been tricking me too....had 4 days late af and I swear I have had achey sore bbs since we started ttc and never had them before that when af was here or not. I seem to just have this ache all the time. I guess we just have to hope it will happen. I'm going to the docs this week to start ball rolling for tests to nake sure everything is okay so I can put my mind at ease ! Everyone says when you relax and dont try it happens but I am struggling to just forget the fertile days as I know when they are. Good luck girls! It just means when we get that BFP the wait till be sooo worth it Baby dust!

 

[Loveandpeace]

Hugs to you all! It really is an emotional rollercoaster and a test of your patience.

DH asked me this morning, why aren't we pregnant yet? He naively thought it would just happen almost straight away! He was shocked when I told him there was only one egg released every month (every 35-38 days in my case) and that there is a limited window each month to conceive. I haven't been piling pressure on him to BD too much so now he understands more, he will be more keen to BD so thats good! Men can think in such simple terms and us ladies have to deal with all the OPKS, checking CP & EWCM, etc!!xx

 

[soniaj]

OH i know how you feel me and my partner have been trying for over 2 years no with no luck its heart breaking i really hope that you will get pregnant soon so you dont have to go through what i am going through. some one once told me not to think about it just enjoy your sex life and reduce the stress in your life but its really hard to do especially when it is the 2WW and you strat to feel all of these symptomps and the AF arrives !! all though once your pregnant you can still have periods for the first few months im keeping my fingers crossed for you hunny!

 

[Carly89]

Thank you I think I am feeling particularly miserable this month because my best friend has just told me she is pregnant by accident grrrrr green eyes!!! I am trying to look on the bright side me and dh are going on holiday next week and I was stressing b4 thinking I may be pregnant at least now I know I am not I can let my hair down have a few drinks maybe next month I will be lucky good luck to you xx

I know how you feel hon. Two of my good friends are pregnant and both due in July. One friend actually hurtfully said to me 'I am glad I am not the last one to get pregnant' to me (I am the last one of our group of friends lol) so things like that do not help! But the way I see it is that its saving the best til last .

Go off and enjoy your holiday with DH, relax and have a few drinks and have fun! It will be just what you need and may help to relax you for TTC next month!

I am just into the 2ww now and hubby and I heading to Amsterdam this weekend for our wedding anniversary. I am obviously conscious about being able to have a few drinks, but I am not going to be completely tee total and refrain from celebrating our anniversary either.
Good luck and keep us posted xx

Loveandpeace, we went Dublin on the 29th April for our First wedding anniversary, i was pretty much drunk the whole time, seems I came back with a little more than a hangover! Let loose, let your hair down. I didn't chart or do any of the obsessive stuff i would normally. Lots of fun and drunken fumbles to yoou! x

 

[Carly89]

This is my first post me and dh have been ttc for 3 months now and I know that isn't that long when we started ttc I didn't expect it to happen immediately I kind of know the basic statistics up to a year ect... it's just this baby thing seems to have consumed as soon as we started ttc. (I wasn't crazy b4 ) I swear I feel like my body is tricking me every month so far I have what I think at the time is pregnancy symptoms and af is late I get excited thinking about it pee on a damm stick and half hour later af shows up all singing and dancing and I am left feeling devastated literally I didn't think I would be like this but curling up in a ball and crying is about all I feel like doing how do you all cope when af arrives

The TWW is possibly the worst thing i have ever endured. I don't think anyone can explain how stressful it will be
Every month your body lies to you, and every time AF comes, you feel like the world has ended (I was choosing not to get out of bed, or heading there when immediately possible) I also expected a baby first month TTC, I am surrounded by friends with accident babies.
April was the month I finally copped out (still in shock) and i think it's cause we took the pressure off.. Here is what i did differently:
- Took up jogging. I found the exercise helped with releasing happy chemicals and helped to improve my moods.
- I went away for weekends, enjoyed being drunk and silly (I had hardly drunk since January prior to this)
- I had sex for the joy of it for the first time in 6 months, not just to make a baby. I saw the jelly discharge, and thought hey it's that time again.
- I had become very lazy in the kitchen due to bad moods, comfort eating, generally feeling crap. Due to improving my mood and being active, I wanted to get back into cooking. So im eating healthy, good food, and it's also improving my moods! If you aren't much of a cook, maybe it would be nice to print off recipes and do different things each night, keep your mind occupied on something else. Plus being nice to the OH helped as i was a moody, horrible former version of myself who had been treating him a bit like a dairy cow
- Date nights, go bowling, or for a meal, eat good food, have a drink.

Basically i suffer with Anxiety, depression and OCD and when i get very stressed/ in a rut i find it incredibly difficult to cope. These are just a few tools I have picked up over the years in coping with it. It was my husband that pointed out how obsessive and borderline ill i was making myself again. I had stickers on the calendar of days to 'do it', OPKs on the go 3 times a day, symptom checking every 10 minutes, you name it, i was obsessing over it!

I know it's not a quick fix, and it's not a resolution by any means, and i hope i dont come across insensitive to anyone having long term TTC issues, but i hope if anything i can help a little bit with how you are feeling

 

[MoominGirl]

We've been trying 'officially' for just over a year, 'unofficially' for a year before that. It hasn't been easy but really it's been the last 6 months that it's really hit me. For me like others, a friend announced she was pregnant and that was it!! Thankfully it was a longed for baby rather than an accident but I still felt like the world had ended. I think the hardest part was smiling through all the baby talk when really I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. She didn't know the extent of our fertility issues at the time so it wasn't as if she was being insensitive but I didn't feel I could tell her once she had her good news as I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable around me either. So all a could do was glue on a smile and be happy for her (which of course I was) but then dissolve into a pit of my own tears at home when it all got too much.

Like loveandpeace, I also had to educate the OH a bit. His face was such a picture when I explained to him about the fertile window haha. On the other hand, partly due to my recent monthly meltdowns, we've actually been able to talk things through properly and although still no success I do feel it's brought us closer. We now know we're likely to have fertility issues and we're going through more investigations but I think it's helped me emotionally just knowing we're doing something positive.

Carly - I don't think you came across insensitive at all and a lot of what you said I can certainly relate to. I am also trying to use this as an opportunity to improve our lifestyles etc as I wont to try and get something positive out of what's become such an emotionally difficult time.

 

[Loveandpeace]

This is my first post me and dh have been ttc for 3 months now and I know that isn't that long when we started ttc I didn't expect it to happen immediately I kind of know the basic statistics up to a year ect... it's just this baby thing seems to have consumed as soon as we started ttc. (I wasn't crazy b4 ) I swear I feel like my body is tricking me every month so far I have what I think at the time is pregnancy symptoms and af is late I get excited thinking about it pee on a damm stick and half hour later af shows up all singing and dancing and I am left feeling devastated literally I didn't think I would be like this but curling up in a ball and crying is about all I feel like doing how do you all cope when af arrives

The TWW is possibly the worst thing i have ever endured. I don't think anyone can explain how stressful it will be
Every month your body lies to you, and every time AF comes, you feel like the world has ended (I was choosing not to get out of bed, or heading there when immediately possible) I also expected a baby first month TTC, I am surrounded by friends with accident babies.
April was the month I finally copped out (still in shock) and i think it's cause we took the pressure off.. Here is what i did differently:
- Took up jogging. I found the exercise helped with releasing happy chemicals and helped to improve my moods.
- I went away for weekends, enjoyed being drunk and silly (I had hardly drunk since January prior to this)
- I had sex for the joy of it for the first time in 6 months, not just to make a baby. I saw the jelly discharge, and thought hey it's that time again.
- I had become very lazy in the kitchen due to bad moods, comfort eating, generally feeling crap. Due to improving my mood and being active, I wanted to get back into cooking. So im eating healthy, good food, and it's also improving my moods! If you aren't much of a cook, maybe it would be nice to print off recipes and do different things each night, keep your mind occupied on something else. Plus being nice to the OH helped as i was a moody, horrible former version of myself who had been treating him a bit like a dairy cow
- Date nights, go bowling, or for a meal, eat good food, have a drink.

Basically i suffer with Anxiety, depression and OCD and when i get very stressed/ in a rut i find it incredibly difficult to cope. These are just a few tools I have picked up over the years in coping with it. It was my husband that pointed out how obsessive and borderline ill i was making myself again. I had stickers on the calendar of days to 'do it', OPKs on the go 3 times a day, symptom checking every 10 minutes, you name it, i was obsessing over it!

I know it's not a quick fix, and it's not a resolution by any means, and i hope i dont come across insensitive to anyone having long term TTC issues, but i hope if anything i can help a little bit with how you are feeling

Aw its lovely to hear this Carly and so super pleased for you!

I also suffer anxiety and depression from time to time and really went through a bad patch for a couple of months at the beginning of the TTC journey.
I have felt a shift in my attitude this month and not allowing it to consume me. I have started properly taking care of my own wellbeing with exercise, eating, e.t.c. as well and I believe this has helped a lot.
Hubby and I both dont like the word 'trying' , even though Im on the TTC message board, I dont really know what else to call it?
Anyway this is the first time in the 2WW I am not overly obsessing and it feels a bit of a relief.
xx

 

[Carly89]

This is my first post me and dh have been ttc for 3 months now and I know that isn't that long when we started ttc I didn't expect it to happen immediately I kind of know the basic statistics up to a year ect... it's just this baby thing seems to have consumed as soon as we started ttc. (I wasn't crazy b4 ) I swear I feel like my body is tricking me every month so far I have what I think at the time is pregnancy symptoms and af is late I get excited thinking about it pee on a damm stick and half hour later af shows up all singing and dancing and I am left feeling devastated literally I didn't think I would be like this but curling up in a ball and crying is about all I feel like doing how do you all cope when af arrives

The TWW is possibly the worst thing i have ever endured. I don't think anyone can explain how stressful it will be
Every month your body lies to you, and every time AF comes, you feel like the world has ended (I was choosing not to get out of bed, or heading there when immediately possible) I also expected a baby first month TTC, I am surrounded by friends with accident babies.
April was the month I finally copped out (still in shock) and i think it's cause we took the pressure off.. Here is what i did differently:
- Took up jogging. I found the exercise helped with releasing happy chemicals and helped to improve my moods.
- I went away for weekends, enjoyed being drunk and silly (I had hardly drunk since January prior to this)
- I had sex for the joy of it for the first time in 6 months, not just to make a baby. I saw the jelly discharge, and thought hey it's that time again.
- I had become very lazy in the kitchen due to bad moods, comfort eating, generally feeling crap. Due to improving my mood and being active, I wanted to get back into cooking. So im eating healthy, good food, and it's also improving my moods! If you aren't much of a cook, maybe it would be nice to print off recipes and do different things each night, keep your mind occupied on something else. Plus being nice to the OH helped as i was a moody, horrible former version of myself who had been treating him a bit like a dairy cow
- Date nights, go bowling, or for a meal, eat good food, have a drink.

Basically i suffer with Anxiety, depression and OCD and when i get very stressed/ in a rut i find it incredibly difficult to cope. These are just a few tools I have picked up over the years in coping with it. It was my husband that pointed out how obsessive and borderline ill i was making myself again. I had stickers on the calendar of days to 'do it', OPKs on the go 3 times a day, symptom checking every 10 minutes, you name it, i was obsessing over it!

I know it's not a quick fix, and it's not a resolution by any means, and i hope i dont come across insensitive to anyone having long term TTC issues, but i hope if anything i can help a little bit with how you are feeling

Aw its lovely to hear this Carly and so super pleased for you!

I also suffer anxiety and depression from time to time and really went through a bad patch for a couple of months at the beginning of the TTC journey.
I have felt a shift in my attitude this month and not allowing it to consume me. I have started properly taking care of my own wellbeing with exercise, eating, e.t.c. as well and I believe this has helped a lot.
Hubby and I both dont like the word 'trying' , even though Im on the TTC message board, I dont really know what else to call it?
Anyway this is the first time in the 2WW I am not overly obsessing and it feels a bit of a relief.
xx

If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to PM me lovely, if your anxiety flare up or just to chat. I did find the first few months crippling. Hopefully your actions towards bettering your mental health will do you the world of good xx

 

[Carly89]

We've been trying 'officially' for just over a year, 'unofficially' for a year before that. It hasn't been easy but really it's been the last 6 months that it's really hit me. For me like others, a friend announced she was pregnant and that was it!! Thankfully it was a longed for baby rather than an accident but I still felt like the world had ended. I think the hardest part was smiling through all the baby talk when really I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach. She didn't know the extent of our fertility issues at the time so it wasn't as if she was being insensitive but I didn't feel I could tell her once she had her good news as I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable around me either. So all a could do was glue on a smile and be happy for her (which of course I was) but then dissolve into a pit of my own tears at home when it all got too much.

Like loveandpeace, I also had to educate the OH a bit. His face was such a picture when I explained to him about the fertile window haha. On the other hand, partly due to my recent monthly meltdowns, we've actually been able to talk things through properly and although still no success I do feel it's brought us closer. We now know we're likely to have fertility issues and we're going through more investigations but I think it's helped me emotionally just knowing we're doing something positive.

Carly - I don't think you came across insensitive at all and a lot of what you said I can certainly relate to. I am also trying to use this as an opportunity to improve our lifestyles etc as I wont to try and get something positive out of what's become such an emotionally difficult time.

Thank you lovely, i know sometimes written things can sometimes come across differently to how they are intended x