I am so unhappy): UPDATE NOW HAPPY(:

[Geordie&Bairn]

I M A VERY HAPPY BUNNY
WE HAVE SPENT ALL DAY CLEARING OUT THE STORE ROOM
We have chucked a lote of junk out belonging to his Dad and we have started taking down all his Dads stuff from the walls and shelves
We our Finaly going to have the wires instaled to get the oven up and run ing hopfully on Friday
and in the next few weeks when James is of work He will install the kitchen work bench so i can prepare food
Next weekend we will wash down the walls and paint them

And get the room ready for Colliers arrival
we just have to sort out heating as the store room had no heating but im sure that will not be to hard
YIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1








this post does have a reason bare with me....
I got my bacon but cant make it in the annexe i live in i dont have a connection for a oven so i make my food over at the main house.

But i have to time my meals around Ian and Anne (James Dad and step Mam.
At the mo they our sitting in the kitchen chatting with a visitor. i cant make my dinner.
The only food i have left untill sainsburys delivers tommorow is frozen food so i need to use the oven.

I am SO SICK OF THIS
Ive lived in this bloody SHED for 2 years and i am sick to the back teeth with not having a kitchen and a sitting room.
I live eat breath in the bedroom and its tiny so eating is a pain.
I want my own space and normal home with a normal kitchen and sitting room.

I am so tired of having to lug my food across the garden to make my food and not being able to make food when i want to at any time.

I am sick of having to take my dishes across the garden because i have no kitchen sink.
I am sick of having to wash up BEFORE I EAT as i cant leave the dishes till later. when i have done this i come back across to do them and find Anne has done them and i end up feeling HORRIBLE.

Yesterday i borrowed the tin opener and brought it over i had jacket potato with tuna so used the microwave i have in the shed.
I try my best not to get in Anne and Ian's way as much as possible
(And try as much as possible to have food that doent need an oven)
After eating my meal Ian comes over and asked if i had the tin opener i said sorry i'll get it
He said no it alright SHAME YOU HAVNT GOT ONE OF YOUR OWN and stormed out. (Ive ordered one with the shopping)
Things like this keep happening Anne HATES the smell of fish being cooked so i feel bad when i cook it. i have to wait til they have finished making thier meals before i can make my own.

I dont have space for cutlery all are stuff is in the garage boxed up
and as i have to take it all the dishes across to the main house to wash anyway so there is no point in having stuff over here.


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
We cant afford to buy we have have for 2 years saved as much as we can and it is still not enough beacuse in those 2 years the price of everying including council tax has gone up so we our stuck.
James works in reading so we cant afford 2 rents
i am stuck here and whats worse i'll still be here when the baby is born
I have had enough and i want to go home
we would be able to buy 3 bed houses up North we cant afford a flat down here

I am sorry fr this i neede to get it out
i have spent 2 years trying to look on the bright side but im not seeing it at the mo

 

[Krystal]

aww hun, sounds awful, especially considering your soon gonna have another bundle

Not gonna be much help afraid all i can say is come back to the north east.. you know you wanna

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

Thanks for that sweetcheeks
the Angel of the North is a monstrosity but makes me go all gooey because i know i am home when i see it

http://www.seatondelaval.org.uk/

This is my home
i miss it soooooooooooooo much

 

[xJodieLoux]

Hun I'm really sorry your feeling down. To be honest I don't know what to say for advice, seem's to me you are abit stuck. If I were you I'd move back home, easier said than done though eh?

 

[Sherlock]

Sorry to hear you are feeling down about this, although I think given the circumstances you've coped brilliantly so far

I'd like to make a few suggestions if I may?

Your OH works in Reading? IIRC he is in the armed forces? So does he have accomadation you can move into in the near future? Will he be eligible for it if a baby comes along? If so, why not look to applying for it at least as a temp solution.

I suggest this as a) you will be going on maternity leave in the not too distant future and b) depending on how much time you take off, you could use that time to move closer to OH and then look around the local area for a new job to suit you. Nothing to stop you on that front.

If you continue to stay where you are, your struggles are going to no doubt get worse. As awful as that sounds, I feel its true. Your in laws seem to make it clear they like some definition and separation from you. Would they/are they more prepared to allow you more use of the house once LO is here? I think you'll need it, the kitchen, the bathroom, laundry and so on, it will mean more imposing. And in winter when you need to make meals and so on, you cannot confine yourself and a baby to one small room. You'll need space.

I'd seriously look to relocating nearer your OH and if he is eligible for housing via his job then apply and see what happens. If it means you have to move around with his job for a few years, then so be it. I think its a better solution to your present situation tbh. You are a nursery nurse iirc so your line of work will be in demand once your maternity leave it over. I'm sure you could find a job locally should you move elsewhere.

It might seem daunting, but once you start looking at the possibilities I think you'll see there are ways to solve the problem, at least in the short term for a year or two.

I got a bee in my bonnet back in October about having a bigger house to live in once baby was here. And had a very specific list of must haves etc. Enclosed garden, 2 plus bedrooms, allows dogs and chickens, rural...

What we got in the first house we saw was all of this and then some. So we signed and moved house in the New Year. Its been tight money wise but we did our sums and felt that staying where we were, even though cheaper was not really going to make us happier. So we went for broke. I even went so far as to quit my job and so am without income for 6 weeks till my MA starts at the end of this month.

But we've not regretted it one bit. Its the best thing we've done

Drop me a PM if you want to talk

 

[BeckyJ]

sorry to hear that you are unhappy hunni but in ur situation i think id feel the same

cant you go on the council list, they should give u sumwhere esp as ur pregnant, couldnt u get james's mum and dad to write a letter saying they was kicking u out so then the council wud giv u summat? worth a try

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

Hun I'm really sorry your feeling down. To be honest I don't know what to say for advice, seem's to me you are abit stuck. If I were you I'd move back home, easier said than done though eh?

Thanks JodieLoux

Id move home in a heart beat but James dosnt want to move up North.
He's from down hear i moved down to be with him 4 years ago.

We rented for the first 2 years we rented in 2 places that belonged to friends of James so the rent was good but had to move out when each wanted to do the place up and sell them on.

James changed jobs to join the MOD he was stationed to Reading
instead of forking our for us to rent and me leave my job to move with him
(He had to do 2 years probation before he could ask to be transfered closer to home)
I stayed hear and moved to his Dads so we could save money
James shares rent with 3 other peopls in Reading
He works shirt patterns 6 days on 4 days of ect he comes back down hear on the days he has off

He is nealry finished his 2 year stint and we our both hoping he'll get the Mod place in sevenoaks
But this is hard as so many people ask for the same place.
If he cant get sevenoaks
He is going to transfer to the Home Office He put in requests with Kent Sussex, Surrey, and Essex police forces.
Sussex sounds the most promising
But he cant ask for transfer till the end of May when his proby status end
(this is when i am due to give birth)
So i'll still be in the annexe when Collier is born.

He never wanted to stay in Reading as the cost of living is even higher there, it's where the probbies are sent but dont want to stay
and he always intended to use it as a stepping stone to get MOD sevenoaks or the Home office

I dont care where we end up timbucktoo outamongoila would do
i just want to be in a HOME rented or bought i dont care i just want somewhere i feel i can bring up my child and not feel ashamed im letting him down

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

Sorry to hear you are feeling down about this, although I think given the circumstances you've coped brilliantly so far

I'd like to make a few suggestions if I may?

Your OH works in Reading? IIRC he is in the armed forces? So does he have accomadation you can move into in the near future? Will he be eligible for it if a baby comes along? If so, why not look to applying for it at least as a temp solution.

I

James is in the MOD they no longer house the families like the Armed forces do (they sold of all the houses to make money)
They would only help us out if they asked James to transfer some where else NOT if he requests a transfer and they would not helop us to get a place in Reading.

With the council yes we could put ourselves on the list but it will be a cold day in hell before they prioritse us
1 we both have jobs
2im not single or homless
3 his wage is over a certian amount so points are deducted for that (this also stops him getting working tax credits)
and for the money we both have worked hard to save for 2 years in our ISA's.( which is still not enough to buy a house)

We cant ask his parents to write a note of eviction ( i cant go into the resons it could get his Dad into trouble )
We have all but given up on buying a house i cant bring a wage in once maternity is finished.
We are going to rent but where and when is still compleatly up in the air
We cant find anywhere to live untill his probation is up and he cant find somewhere to transfer.
I could move up to be with him in 11 weeks when i start maternity
But the cost of moving into a rented place council tax ect in Reading
on just his wage would eat into our saving like a sieve.
He share with 3 of his work mates and splits rent 4 which saves him so much money.
The whole point is he's not going to stay in Reading and the cost of first month rent deposit ect ect for a few months of me living with him in Reading till he can finaly transfer and then have to fork out agian for somewhere else
would make a mockery of 2 years trying to save like demons

 

[Sydneysmum]

I'm sorry you're in this situation. I'm afraid I have little advice to offer.

Please don't let this make you sad. You're a happy, sunny and supportive person and I love reading your posts. You've cheered me up so many times and I cannot go to the fridge without thinking of telephones!

My family was evicted from our home when I was 14 and I was sent to live with 'friends' in a different town from my mum and the rest of my family. I was a cuckoo in the nest, all my stuff was in storage and I had to share a room with someone who hated my guts. I coped by going out as much as I could (I had a bike - but we lived at the top of a huge hill!). Hold on in there, a solution will present itself.

It can't be much fun being so far from home (I know how you feel - I belong in Cornwall). Keep smiling

 

[Hazel]

It sounds like you're stuck where you are for a while.

Have you maybe got space to put a small oven in the annexe? Do you just have a bedroom and bathroom? I just looked on ebay and came across these. Put the description in the search box.

NEW Mini Kitchen Cooker sink and fridge in one unit

Mini cooker- single oven, 2 hobs and grill (Coventry)

When I lived in a bedsit I had a mini oven with the hob on top and had to do my washing in the bath and spin it in a seperate spinner which I think was from the 1970's.

There are also the microwaves that double as an oven but they are quite pricey I think.

 

[Babylicious]

all the good things are up north like me, so get packing and move here 8)

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

It sounds like you're stuck where you are for a while.

Have you maybe got space to put a small oven in the annexe? Do you just have a bedroom and bathroom? I just looked on ebay and came across these. Put the description in the search box.

NEW Mini Kitchen Cooker sink and fridge in one unit

Mini cooker- single oven, 2 hobs and grill (Coventry)

When I lived in a bedsit I had a mini oven with the hob on top and had to do my washing in the bath and spin it in a seperate spinner which I think was from the 1970's.

There are also the microwaves that double as an oven but they are quite pricey I think.

Thanks for that Hazel
i have got an oven i few months ago i got sooooooooooo fed up a moaned at James that i couldnt take anymore
so we bought a oven of Ebay
It's sitting there looking all lovley (and usless)
we need to get the proper cable electric conection put in.
Luckly a Family friend is an electrican and will put it in for us.
But he's been ill for ages so we our hopefully going to have a working oven soon
Which will help so much!!!!
James never has the time( he works so hard belss him ) free to put in the kitchen work bench we were given from one of his friends so i still have no where to prepare food.
but every little bit helps
HE WILL HAVE TO HAVE IT SET UP by the time Collier arrives
2 years ive been waiting

I will say James and his Plumber mate did a bloody fantastic job on making the shower its LOVELY
So i do have my own shower room with toilet he put that in too, before this i had to run across the garden to use the main house toilet

 

[sarah2807]

Awwww-what an awful situation hun! I don't really know what to suggest, just wanted to give you these
xxxxxx

 

[Sherlock]

So hopefully he can request a transfer in the not too distant future? Sometime after LO arrives? if so

Its something to hold on to then anyways.

I know how hard it is to afford a place anywhere in the south. Prices are insane. Fingers crossed you can make the best of where you are now for the time being and move as soon as you are both able to.

Like others said, is there any way you can get one of those little cooker things? Something like this one? The only downside is the cooking where you sleep thing. If its a fire risk etc.

 

[Suzie and Faith]

Hey, firstly
I know it's tough, my situation isn't quite as bad in a way - i'm still living with my mum in her house. It's a 3 bed house, there is me, now my OH too, my mum, my 15 year old brother and soon the baby. My poor brother's room is SO small.
So we all share one bathroom and one kitchen.
I understand the stress is causes. I feel quite cooped up as I spend most of my time in my room and the lack of space bugs me - 2 people and a babies stuff all in one place.

All I can say is think to the future, you will get somewhere and it will be better. Think of it as just making do for now!

You're always so happy and smiley, don't let this get you down! Text me if you ever need to talk

On a practical note talk to James about getting the cooker sorted - even if it means getting someone else in to do it. And can you get a washing up bowl for your shower room - so you can do some washing up over there? I know it's not practical but it may help.

xxxxxxxxx

 

[Tadpole]

Oh hon!!

Having been between homes several times myself in the past and lived in some SHOCKING accommodation I know how depressing it can be. Like Sherlock said - there is hope in the next few months so hold on to that. Have you spoken to James about how miserable this is? Maybe if he understands how unhappy it is making you then putting in the cooker connection & the workbench would become a priority - because it needs to be now.

Try not to let it get to you too much - easier said than done I know. In a few months you, James & Collier will have a home to call your own & this will be something you laugh about. I think as well it is probably harder because you are so far from home. Remember we are all here for you. Feel free to pm me if you need a cry any time.

xx

 

[kalia]

It's a shame OH won't consider moving up north - it sounds like you would all have a better quality of life if you did
You can do a lot of good food in a microwave. My grandma had the most fantastic recipe for macaroni cheese and it is made in the microwave - pm me if you want the recipe. You could cook the bacon in it too. Maybe get a few plates from IKEA or a charity shop so you don't have to go over to the main house. You could wash them using your shower It wouldn't help the cabin fever any but might make it easier when you are hungry!

 

[lulu]

I know this is easier said than done but could you talk to them, let them know how you feel and get them to be completely honest with you rather than making little comments that upset you!

Its not good for you and baby to be stressed!!!

Could you get a fold down table that you could put away to one side for work space??? Not ideal but maybe a temporary solution until the workbench goes up!!??

Ikea have great storage solutions and quirky tables etc that could have multiple purposes!!!

 

[ASD123456]

Oh hun I'm sorry your feeling sad, have one of these

Alex xxx

 

[Quill]

I kind of know how that is, we were with my in-laws for nearly a year when I moved here from America and with 1 bathroom and small kitchen I can feel your pain. Especially when guests were over. BUT we were able to save money and now we are in a much better position than we would have been if we tried to move out prematurely... so just try and hang on.. tell yourself "This, too, will pass."

Also when I was a baby/toddler I lived on a houseboat. It was tiny, just a small kitchen, a bathroom, and living room/bedroom all combined (well the bathroom had a blanket flap). I grew up a happy child and even have some memories of the boat. Space was never an issue to me because I had my parents around, and I think your son will be just fine. Babies are happiest where their family is and can play in the smallest of spots!

Hope your situation improves soon, but I am sure it will

p.s. OMG just wanted to say it really is expensive as heck living around the south, I came from the US and with the exchange rate... thinking about the cost just does my head in... in fact I can't even think about it anymore! lol.