PerfectStorm
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My Mother thinks that I am a basket case and need counselling!
I have just been speaking to my Mum and she has told me that my step-niece is pregnant and is due a month after our bean should have been. We are only a small family so a new baby in the family is very big news. The news has made me really sad and I've sat here crying. Despite me telling my Mum that I'm fine 99% of the time, I only had the miscarriage 3 months ago so I'm bound to find the news that someone in our particularly small family is pregnant hard to deal with, I am actually coping quite well thank you and no I don't need counselling! I have absolutely nothing against counselling but why does she assume that because I still have the odd moment when I get upset that it means that I'm not coping. Why does she not understand that getting sad occasionally and tearful at such news, is perfectly normal!
I actually think I'm dealing with it quite well - I've happily spent time around my friend's 7 month old baby and had lots of cuddles with her - the first time was hard though, as it was only 5 weeks post miscarriage, and I was tearful but my friends, who were there, completely understood this. In fact, I've been able to joke about their daughter wondering who the crying woman was!
I've also been round to some neighbours with whom we are friendly and had a cuddle with their newborn son. I've talked to another neighbour about her becoming a grandparent soon as both her children are expecting.
My best friend's sister is pregnant and is due only 2 weeks before we should have been and I have asked after her occasionally and how her pregnancy is progressing.
I will be seeing my step-niece at Christmas and I will paint a smile on my face and congratulate her, because I am pleased for her just sad for myself.
I have a good relationship with my Mum and she has been really supportive and I know she was only worried about me but I am just really surprised that she must think that if I am still getting upset occasionally then I must be struggling to cope and need some help. Why don't people understand that a miscarriage follows a very similar pattern to grieving the death of a relative - the pain doesn't just go away a few weeks after the pregnancy is physically over.
My Mum knows this, because she has told me that my Grandma always mentioned the date her baby should have been born, despite having the miscarriage 50 years earlier!
Sorry for the long rambling post - I just needed to get this off my chest, to people who understand.
I have just been speaking to my Mum and she has told me that my step-niece is pregnant and is due a month after our bean should have been. We are only a small family so a new baby in the family is very big news. The news has made me really sad and I've sat here crying. Despite me telling my Mum that I'm fine 99% of the time, I only had the miscarriage 3 months ago so I'm bound to find the news that someone in our particularly small family is pregnant hard to deal with, I am actually coping quite well thank you and no I don't need counselling! I have absolutely nothing against counselling but why does she assume that because I still have the odd moment when I get upset that it means that I'm not coping. Why does she not understand that getting sad occasionally and tearful at such news, is perfectly normal!
I actually think I'm dealing with it quite well - I've happily spent time around my friend's 7 month old baby and had lots of cuddles with her - the first time was hard though, as it was only 5 weeks post miscarriage, and I was tearful but my friends, who were there, completely understood this. In fact, I've been able to joke about their daughter wondering who the crying woman was!
I've also been round to some neighbours with whom we are friendly and had a cuddle with their newborn son. I've talked to another neighbour about her becoming a grandparent soon as both her children are expecting.
My best friend's sister is pregnant and is due only 2 weeks before we should have been and I have asked after her occasionally and how her pregnancy is progressing.
I will be seeing my step-niece at Christmas and I will paint a smile on my face and congratulate her, because I am pleased for her just sad for myself.
I have a good relationship with my Mum and she has been really supportive and I know she was only worried about me but I am just really surprised that she must think that if I am still getting upset occasionally then I must be struggling to cope and need some help. Why don't people understand that a miscarriage follows a very similar pattern to grieving the death of a relative - the pain doesn't just go away a few weeks after the pregnancy is physically over.
My Mum knows this, because she has told me that my Grandma always mentioned the date her baby should have been born, despite having the miscarriage 50 years earlier!
Sorry for the long rambling post - I just needed to get this off my chest, to people who understand.