Not coping

[fruityloop]

Hi everyone,

Tonight I'm in floods of tears. It's like a delayed shock what has hit me over the last few days. It didn't help that the day I found out our baby had died was the same day our offer for a house had been accepted.

We will be moving into it at the beginning of September. It doesn't give me the happy feeling it did before I lost my baby, although I am still looking forward to moving.

I really am not coping today. I can't stop crying and I can't see an end to my feeling this way. I think I just need to cry it all out of me. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow. I am seeing the doctor tomorrow. I was on antidepressants (Cipralex 10mg) before my pregnancy and I expect to be put back on them again, although I don't want to.

Sorry this message doesn't really say anything - it's just for me to let out my feelings. I just wish I could stop crying. Big fat tears just keep plopping down in front of me.

I am going to ask the doctor tomorrow about contraception. This pregnancy was completely unexpected as I was told 10 years ago I couldn't have children. I know in my heart that there is no way I can emotionally cope with this ever happening again so I want to discuss contraception so it definitely can't. I know this means never having a child but I am not strong enough to go through all this again.

I am a great auntie and godmother and I love all the children in my life. I just think I'm not meant to be a mum. I also don't have age on my side. I'm 37 in just under a month's time.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I'm off to bed now. I feel completely exhausted from crying all the time.

with love and thanks for all your support
Tina (Fruityloop)
xxxx

 

so sorry you're feeling so down hun, Just wanted to send you a big hug and I hope you feel better soon. Losing a baby takes time to get over and you will get there I promise. Good luck for the house move, maybe a fresh start will help? xxx

 

[lauramumof2]

Im so sorry for whats happened to you. Maybe when you go back to the docs he might suggest something different for you, these meds might not be suitable for you just now as you are greiving and if you really dont want to go back on them then you need to say.

I dont think at this point that there is anything wrong with having a massive big cry, let it all out and some.

I hope by the time you read this you have managed to have a good sleep and maybe feel a wee bit better, take it easy though and dont expect too much too soon.

Take care
Laura,

 

[rach]

im so sorry for whats happened hun be gentle on yourself xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[LouisecH]

Hi Fruityloop

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad, I remember feeling the same way myself, although I was never told I couldn't have children.

You will be feeling very unstable over the next week or so especially as your hormones and body will be feeling very confused. I was an emotional wreck for the first couple of weeks and that gave way to sadness which DID lessen over time.

I know you want to protect yourself, I understand that entirely, but in a few months you may want to think again about children. If so remember that missed miscarriages are not uncommon in first pregnancies, it's like the body is practicing (sorry if that sounds awful) but it's extremely unlikely to happen again. That said I was on pins through my pregnancy with Zara but I'm so so so glad I took the risk now.

If you decide not to have children then as you said, you have other children around for whom I am sure you are very important and you have lots of other things to look forward to.

Please look after yourself and try to look forward to a new start in your new house - it should be lovely!

Hope you're feeling better soon
Louise

 

[beatlesbaby66]

just wanted to send massive hugs to you my darling. i totally understand how you feel over mc at the moment. i am fine one minute, hysterical the next.

take care of yourself and come here to vent, it does help and everyones so lovely they dont mind.

speak to you soon honey and dont expect too much of yourself at the moment

 

[bexxie]

Hi I am sorry you are going through this I only had an early loss but did have to have a termination 10 years ago at 13 weeks due to abnormality. At the time i wanted to curl up and die but I have a goreous 6 year old now (who is actually being a pain right now,lol) so there is hope hunny.

You will fel better,not right away but over a little time with support you will get there.

I had a m/c june and am pregnant again now and part of me thinks i ma mad in case I have to go though the pain again but the gamble is so worth it,there is a 50/50 chance things will go good and that is a chance I feel ready to take right now. But for you I hope you will feel ready to chance it again. Your time will come and the chances of this happening again are remote,it is unlikely that you would have to go through that again.

Please do not blame yourself and remmeber the girls on this forum are lovely and we are all here to listen and help where we can.

I am sending you loads of love and hugs
Bex

 

[Wobbles]

Hey hun - I just wanted to say I'm still thinking about you! I hope you have had plenty of TLC & support.

x

 

[Little Miss Joslyn]

Hi Tina,
It is normal to feel like you do after your loss hunnie. I still feel upset a year on after my missed miscarriage and feel like everything is rubbed in my face ie: dates and babies as I have been TTC since then. Things will get easier and you need some TLC and pampering. Life is so cruel but I believe there is light at the end of the tunnel.
(((((((((((((((((((Big hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) x x

 

[rusks]

tina im so sorry this has happened and its natural to feel so empty, want you to know am thinking of you xx