Husband! What are yours like!

[rainbow dancer]

My hubby is away mon to fri and comes home weekends he is on a course and will be away eight weeks altogether. When he comes home at weekends he says he is so tired and I feel bad bout him helping me with night feeds cause he always goes on like he is the only one who is tired! I am alone all week which is fine but am I expecting too much for him to help when he is here!? Soz for the moan xx

 

[Zazu]

It's not fair that you don't get one night off! I'd be having words, you should get up one night and he should get up the other, it's exhausting looking after a baby and having broken sleep, oooh men! X

 

[x-misspinkuk-x]

that totally not fair hun. some words are defo needed. we all need a break and a helping hand.
my OH helps me out with the kids loads. obviously he doesnt help with the night feeds coz littleman is breastfeed, but he will change his bum at night and walk with baby if his unsettled.
if didnt he'd get a kick up the behind lol xx

 

[Lacey's Mummy]

My OH is away all week too but I still do the night feeds at the weekend too, I just find it easier to just get on with it. He does let me have lie in maybe once a month though! Lol!!
I'm in my own routine with the kids during the week so it's easier for me to do everything but he does help now and then!!

 

[isobel84]

hi hun
Im breastfeeding so i do night feeds but Demba change noa night time n at weekends we tend to have one lay-in each.

xx

 

[don-don]

My chap works Mon to Sat, but he does the night feeds on a Saturday night, so i get the night off!! You def need a break from it. I normally go out with my friends on a Sat night, its nice to be normal for a night lol!!! xxxx

 

[LilyMac]

Does he work all through the night while he's away or does he get a decent nights sleep every night??? As far as I'm concerned you both work during the day so he should help with night feeds etc. He helped make the baby so he should help with the hard bits and not just get all the fun bits, it's so unfair chick x

 

[PinkPunch]

Yeah I agree with the others, he should be helping especially because he only has 2 nights to help with so that's doable.

I'm breastfeeding but hubby is great, he gets DD up every morning, feeds and dresses her and brings me breakfast in bed since I get up with DS during the night.. Ill miss night feeds lol

 

[rainbow dancer]

Yeah he gets to sleep at night. He has been offering to help but it's almost like its an effort! I'm gonna ask him to do the Saturday night like you have all said I need some time to sleep! Thanks for all your advice xxx

 

[Spuggy]

You sound just like me. My husband works during the week (sometimes from home). Some weeks he is out working till late. However at weekends I end up doing the night feeds. He does give me a few hours off in the morning at the weekend. He gets a full night sleep every night and I even sleep in the other room so he isn't disturbed.

He did say he would do a night shift at the weekend but I just couldn't take him being tired in the day and then the weekend is spoilt so I just continued doing it. He is always moaning he is tired. What a joke. Well, anyway, over the last month or so I started resenting him and then being nasty to him because I was fuming that he didn't help me. I didn't realise I was angry and it was my fault too for being a marta. It got to the point where I just hated him when I looked at him. And would hear him in bed snoring when I was feeding.

After a few snippy comments to him I realised this was not good. So I told him that I resented him and sometimes I hate him. I feel unappreciated. He was really glad I told him as it isn't uncommon to feel this way. So two weeekdns ago I let him do one of the feeds. (Yes I felt guilty!) and when he came to bed he was in a real mood. Said "you have no idea how annoying that baby has been. 1 and half hours I have stayed with him)". I felt guilty again. Am I crazy!

Anyway. last weekend my sister was here and we both had to sleep in the room with the boy. I went to the cinema with my sister and he looked after baby. He had to comfort him 3 times before I was back. Then he did the night shift for 2 nights in a row. The first went ok so he was ok to do another night and the second night was hell for him.

Basically, letting him help out has made him appreciate how hard it really is. They have no idea! Perhaps you should let him do one (don't feel guilty!). I felt so much better after my 2 nights sleep. Has made a difference.

Your relationship is the most important thing for all of you. It should come first Let me know how you get on. Good luck. x

 

[Wannabepreggers]

My husband is spoilt. I do all the nappy changes, and feeding (I am breastfeeding though), bathing, cleaning, basically everything. He will do things if I guilt trip him into it or once in a blue moon he'll offer to change a nappy but that's it. Stupid as it sounds, I don't mind most of the time as I do have to allow the fact that he works at least 48 hours a week over 6 days.

What p****s me off is his utter lack of common sense around Joe. Like yesterday, Joe was quite colicky & it took ages to settle him but once I had, I put him in his swing downstairs. 10 minutes into his sleep my husband answered his work mobile with a 'hello' on par to Dom Joly off Trigger Happy TV (bit of an exaggeration, but it was loud) & he woke Joe up. This morning, I put Joe down in his swing again & went into the kitchen to make my brekkie. Hubby (on laptop looking at highchairs on ebay) shouted from the living room for me to come and have a look at one thus waking Joe up!

And he says I'm the one with no common sense.

 

[xxbeckyxx]

Aww I feel quite lucky to have such a good OH - he has his moments when he complains about being tired but he has done lots of 'shifts' and definitely appreciates how hard it is!

The only thing that annoys me a bit is that when Lizzie cries he'll just sit and try and reason with her - 'What's wrong Lizzie? Please don't cry' etc etc, and I know all she wants is a change of scenery so I have to go pick her up and walk her about a bit. He still hasn't caught on...

 

[Baby Bean]

The only thing that annoys me a bit is that when Lizzie cries he'll just sit and try and reason with her - 'What's wrong Lizzie? Please don't cry' etc etc, and I know all she wants is a change of scenery so I have to go pick her up and walk her about a bit. He still hasn't caught on...

my husband does the exact same! He was really good when we first brought ella-rose home but now he won't do anything unless I ask as he's too tired from work or too busy (hes a teacher) marking/ prepping when he is home. He makes me feel guilty when I do ask and then makes me feel guilty for only wanting to go back to work part time. Who does he think will look after ella-rose when I have to work late if I go back full time?!
Grrrrr! Sorry for rant! This is a really touchy subject for me!

 

[Yodabo]

My husband is not too bad. He never used to do night feeds (tbh I'm a light sleeper he's not, so when the baby starts stirring it's easier and quicker for me to sort out) If I want him to do anything he will do it mind, he now makes up his bottles every evening and will change his bum/feed him if I ask. He never offers mind!

The thing that's getting on my nerves right now is that he can go anywhere and not take the baby with him, if I go out I have to take him with me so I never ever get a break! I've had a few words mind and he's taking Drake with jim this morning as his mother wants to go shopping. It's tempting to clean but I think I might just Be selfish and go back to bed for an hour or two!

 

[nadine]

Husband! What are yours like! = pain in the ass hahaah

 

[stuu3270]

Ok, as a husband, can I chip in here??

I agree with most of you actually. I think its amazing what you go through for nine months, then the birth then the next couple of years!

If I worked all week and only came home at weekends I would look forward to getting stuck in. Especially as I get to sleep for the rest of the week.

Me and my wife have a bit of an arrangement - I get up in the mornings when I am around (I work shifts) to see to our oldest daughter of 20 months. That means I am up by 06:30 hours most mornings. My wife is up in the night only once or twice but gets to lay in as long as she needs with the new-born (actually 8 weeks).

We all then lay in bed with Cbeebies on with tea, juice, cereals and toast. If its a good day, the oldest will be hapy to lay there, if not she will be a bit of a pain but its all good.

There are two schools of thought regarding work, though. I have to go to work, be somewhere, do something, I can't come home or eat when I feel like it but my wife can up to a point. It is difficult and stressful looking after one, let alone two young children but its also hard getting up at 5 a.m. for a 10 hour shift, sometimes without much rest (at least you can rest when baby sleeps). Please don't shout at me!!

The other school of thought is that its actually quite nice to go to work for a break - no nappies, no endless crying, no feeding, no nagging, no arguments. Just me, some colleagues and being able to get up walk around, drive and other stuff without too many ties.

i am undecided on which I prefer... Bread winning or being kept... I mean home making and child care.

I applaude you all and I mean it.

Stu

 

[rainbow dancer]

thats really nice of you to say stu. my hubby is very good and helpfull with the little one. im returning to work on monday so will have to juggle baby and working shifts!! i am going to be sad but realise that i need to return to work to support my family (i also have step children who we finacially support....oh and there mum too but thats a diiferent story lol!!), its difficult isnt it especially when they are so young, will be a struggle to begin with but will get there xx