How would u handle this.?

[Kezzo]

Me and my oh are great most of the time but I feel there is hardly communication as he does this thing where if something has annoyed me like him sittin on his arse at kitchen table all day as soon as I say something to him he shuts down and goes quiet and won't talk or he will just shoutin at me. I'm at the point where I'm havin to build things up as I can't be arsed with the immature silent treatment or shouting if I dare mention anythin. Aslong as I'm not gettin onto him we are amazin but dare I say anythin no matter how big or small the problem is and even if I try discuss it with him it's the same he goes silent or shouts at me. We are great together and it's just this 1 thing I can't quite get to grips with xx

 

[Pumpkin9]

Try changing tack? When he does this what do you do? Have you tried talking by saying your exact feeling about him going quiet or shouting? So something like. I'm finding this really frustrating it makes it more difficult for me to talk to you about these things, I'm going to do something else now come and find me when you're ready to discuss this?

Basically think about how you're reacting and try to change it so perhaps you get a different reaction? It's worked for me with my hubby we used to really shout at each other but for the last 3 months I have actively tried to be different now that we have a baby in the house (I don't want them seeing the way we used to behave!) so far it seems to be working, our disagreements are calmer and we can actually talk rather than shout.

 

[Kezzo]

I have tried exactly that and he just sits quiet and doesn't say a word and the last time I said come to me when ur ready to discuss this 3 days passed without him talking and still in a huff. I can't handle the silent treatment it's horrible xx

 

[Melily24]

Eish I wish I could advise because I know first hand what its like. Its dreadful. I think I prefer the shouting in a way over the silent treatment. Hubby stopped the silent treatment himself after doing it to me for years and years, days at a time. he gets really defensive as SOON as I raise any issues, so I try to make my sentence as neutral as possible and just keep explaining myself in different ways - can take a day before he realises sometimes that I'm not being mean on purpose or whatnot. But his first reaction is to fight and shout... I wish it would stop. I'm exhausted from trying to find ways not for us to fight and for him to just listen. If he does shout, I just tell him to stop and that I'm not interested in fighting. He will continue or else goes quiet and then continues to snipe at me all day long. I then try not to react (cos then we just fight), but its hard.
Does he tell you why he is cross and shouting? Has he always been like this or has it gotten worse recently?
Sending you loads of hugs. xxx

 

[GF91]

This is my OH down to a T.
I've taken to playing him at his own game and being offish and giving him the silent treatment. He soon starts panicking asking what he's done wrong or if he can do anything for me and I just tactically drop it into conversation. Much less stressful this way! Xx