How to tell..updated-advice needed please!!

[handbagqueen]

friends that aren't really friends anymore? They've hurt/upset/annoyed me in the past and we have a very strained relationship but I know I have to tell them... If all goes well at my scan I was going to send an email out to a few people from work and include them- not very personal but my other idea was to be even less personal and just announce it on facebook. What do you think?

 

[Penstraze]

I was thinking of just announcing it on facebook rather then actually contact the friends that arn't really good friends cant see the need to contact them personally! But if you do feel the need to do that a mass email sounds fine to me!

 

[abcd1234]

I used facebook for people who i dont "care" about! I put a pregnancy ticker on and changed my status to it so people would see, and as i've jsut had my scan my pic is my baby atm.
I know its not personal but they arnt people i care about, i told all the important people face to face

 

[Sherlock]

I still haven't told a heap of people, even now. I just told close family, good friends, people I worked with and those friends I see round and about but other than that, I didn't worry.

I'm a bit crap like that, but don't feel any need to tell everyone or those I have no real interest in telling. The might find out elsewhere, but thats fine.

Its whatever you feel comfortable with. If thats telling Facebook then If its just sticking to those around you and close friends then also Do what you are happy with.

 

[handbagqueen]

They are just so awkward I just don't know what to do... they'll probably get all upset with me for not telling them earlier, then they'll get upset and say I couldn't be bothered to call them personally. They are so weird and really not worth me worrying about but I grew up with them ( and now grown apart) and they always make me feel guilty about everything and I really don't want anything to taint this.
They make me so mad, don't even know why I'm discussing it- I think I will just send an email and if they say anything bad I'll tell them straight that I don't care what they think. Hmmph, my temper seems to be getting a bit bad lately- even had a go at someone on the train yesterday and nearly lost it on the phone to my accounts department just now- is this normal??!

 

[dannii87]

They are just so awkward I just don't know what to do... they'll probably get all upset with me for not telling them earlier, then they'll get upset and say I couldn't be bothered to call them personally. They are so weird and really not worth me worrying about but I grew up with them ( and now grown apart) and they always make me feel guilty about everything and I really don't want anything to taint this.
They make me so mad, don't even know why I'm discussing it- I think I will just send an email and if they say anything bad I'll tell them straight that I don't care what they think. Hmmph, my temper seems to be getting a bit bad lately- even had a go at someone on the train yesterday and nearly lost it on the phone to my accounts department just now- is this normal??!

Hell yeah it's normal! I was a bit short with my colleague for moving my bin last week

I personally would email them if you are worried about their reactions, maybe put a little picture of a stork and below it type something like "I'm expecting and wanted you to know "

I don't know ?! I was terrible and told everyone straight away (announced it on fb) with a gob like mine it's a hard life...

xx

 

[kalia]

I only wanted to tell people face to face. With the result that because of the way things worked out, even though I started telling friends at 4 weeks, one of my good friends I didn't see until 22 weeks when it was really obvious

Announce however you like - I put on facebook in my status. And if anyone complains that you didn't call say t was something you didn't want ot announce on the phone but preferred to say face to face and you haven't seen them / there wasn't a good opportunity when you saw them.

When I bumped into people I hadn't seen for a while and they asked how I was I would reply 'Pregnant!'

 

[handbagqueen]

*update!* one of the main reasons I've been worrying about this is that its one of their birthdays on monday- (day of my scan 4 those who haven't heard lol) I didn't want to go out tonight as i hadn't told them yet and knew that i probably wouldn't be able to keep it quiet...this may sound a bit odd but they are so weird that i honestly think they'd get shirty with me for bringing this type of news when its not 'my day' its her birthday and therefore not the time to be getting all the attention! (i'm not the only one to think this btw- my cousin and hubby said the same b4 i even mentioned it due to stuff in the past) I made my excuses and have the email all set to go if all is well on monday- that way its not a big deal and i'm not stealing her thunder. Now she's only gone and invited me to hers for drinks on monday! Should I go and risk the wrath with my good news or make excuses again and just send the email?! Does this even make sense to anyone??!!

 

[Hazel]

I personally don't think I would even bother with them myself. Are they that good of friends to you? Do you really want to stay friends with these sort of people? If you were my friend I would be happy for you regardless of whether it was my birthday or not.

 

[handbagqueen]

I know Hazel- I hardly see them and don't really consider them as friends anymore but they always make me feel so guilty about everything and they'll find out eventually and it will be even worse. I hate this!

 

[Hazel]

Sod em, go out tonight and tell them as soon as you get there to get it over and done with. Why should you feel guilty about having some good news. You could just stay for a few hours then say you're tired as you have a good excuse to go home. Anyway, when the baby is born you'll be too busy to see them much anyway.

 

[dannii87]

All this worrying babe (Love the new Avator by the way!!)

Ok, because of the update in the situation, stuff 'em. I would go to their house and blurt it out and so what if they think you've stole their limelight?! It's a baby!! Birthdays come around every year without fail! A baby is a BIG BIG deal!!

If they do decide to get shirty, then you have reason to leave them be and get on with your own life without them...

...Are they really that selfish? Argh.

When my friend told me she was pregnant, I made a huge fuss of her! Just like if they were true friends they'd make a huge fuss of you too...

I hope that whatever you decide to do, it works out and no more worrying

GOOD LUCK FOR YOUR SCAN!!! Woo hoo - Meet your bean

xxxxxxxxxx

 

[handbagqueen]

I can't go out tonight Hazel cos I've made other plans... you're right though I should just sod em.
Dannii- i know I'm worrying about everything these days! problem is they are that selfish- a couple of them ended up ruining my hen night by saying they didn;t want to do what me and my maid of honour had planned and wanted to do something else...total nightmare and really long story. They ruined that and then I couldn't uninvite them to the wedding but i just ignored them and so did my whole family! Such a long story and its why i don;t really see them anymore anyway- just a couple of times a year if that- slowly been keeping my distance. I really wish her birthday wasn't this weekend as it would've been ok otherwise!

 

[dannii87]

That changes everything now we know that they ruined your hen night!!

Do you know what I would do? I wouldn't even bother telling them you are pregnant!! They don't deserve that right, they haven't been good enough friends to you You have us though! To celebrate your scan on Monday etc... We'll all be excited for you and that's a cert!

I would completely stray from them now - You need positive and caring people in your life (whatever is happening at the time) but especially now you've got a bubba on the way...

...Argh don't waste your energy... If I were you I'd stuff them all and spend Monday night going out for a nice meal with your OH to celebrate meeting your LO!

xxx

 

[Gemmy]

Danii's so right - life is too short to worry about people like that. You need supportive people around you

Hope your scan went well

Gem x