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How often do you DTD?

xoxo

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Hi everyone,

This is my first time posting here. My husband and are are TTC. This is our fourth cycle. TBH I don’t think we BD enough. For my current cycle we only BD twice over my fertile period. I normally ovulate around CD 14 or 16. So if we didn’t catch this month going forward I’ve decided to try and BD on the following cycle days. 10, 12, 14, 16, 18. Is that enough? I don’t like BD on back to back days and figured if we did every other day would be easier to manage.

I find the ‘passion’ has gone out of sex as all I think about is certain days that we should and shouldn’t be having sex etc lol for example this month we BD on 8 and 9 which is too early as I OV’d on the 14 but then we were both in the mood so I just wanted to go with the flow. Then when my fertile time came I didn’t feel as into it! Lol :wall2:

Anyways, for those who are also trying, how often do you BD?

I know it can just take ‘one’ time but I’d still like to do it as much as possible to increase our chances.
 
Have a read of the SMEP (sperm meets egg plan) there is a free book and some good websites on it. Basically you BD everyother day when you start testing for ovulation (from cd7-10 depending on how long your cycle is) then when you get a positive Opk you BD everyday for 3 days, miss a day and then once more just incase. I can see how it can get exhausting and it would start to feel like a chore after the first few months but I really think it helped me get a BFP so quickly.

Sounds like you have done something similar. Everyother day is recommended as it gives the sperm a chance to mature before they meet the egg.

The other thing to consider is different times of the day. I don't know if it's an old wives tale but I have heard morning sex can be helpful but not idea why!
 
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I am just echoing what Abi has said.
The SPEM lives by the every other day rule from when your AF has finished and then when you get your 1st positive on the opk you DTD - 3 days in a row and then miss a day and then one extra day (they call the extra day a bonus go)
The book that i read about the SPEM has said that if you follow this religiously you will 100% conceive (if you don't have problems obv) and if you don't conceive within 3 months of following this (but it MUST be religiously) then you should see a doctor.
I believe this has worked for alot of couple, and i myself haven't been following this religiously, have started this cycle.
 
Every other day should be enough, but if you use OPKs to see when you are ovulating, you could do the SMEP and BD for 3 days straight once you get a positive OPK.

BD is always more fun when there's no pressure on it, during fertile window it does feel a bit forced x
 
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The general consensus is every other day is more effective than every day as this gives sperm a chance to recover. There are a lot of success stories with SMEP but it really wasn't for us as by the time we tried it, DTD was very forced already and it was just too much. Also, OH had some issues with motility so we both felt happier with a less is more approach.

We were 3 years trying so I think we must have tried every DTD combination possible!! The enthusiasm for sex felt like a thing of the past and we only ever did it over the fertile window. It was always to a schedule and to be honest actually being in the fertile window was actually a turn off in itself!! No one ever tells you how much your sex life actually can suffer when you're TTC. Everyone just thinks you're having lots of great sex.

My cycles were very regular so I did OPKs only and we decided that we would only have TTC sex twice that month so that the rest of the month was more relaxed and no pressure. It felt like a weight lifted. We DTD on the day of positive OPK and 2 days later. We caught that cycle after 3 long years and what felt like every fertility problem going. It really was the least amount of effort we'd put in over all that time.
 
Thanks everyone! That’s funny you mention the SMEP as we had looked into it and were meant to do it this month and then it just didn’t go to plan! Lol

I think next cycle I will try to do at least some version of it. It’s hard when ‘life’ gets in the way, e.g you don’t feel great, one of you is exhausted, get home from work very late etc I don’t want to make excuses though as I really want a baby so will just have to try harder next cycle!

I think I might try and do it every other day starting at CD 10, keep doing my OPKs and then as Emma suggested, do it for three days starting the day that I get my positive.
 
Congrats on your pregnancy Moomin! That’s nice to hear that you only did it twice and conceived, albeit after a long time of TTC. This month we BD he day before my positive OPK and the day after it so FX but we’ll see.

I totally agree with you that sex becomes forced. I constantly know what CD I’m on so I’m always thinking of when we should and shouldn’t have sex lol then on a month when we decided not to use OPKs and go with the flow nothing happened! I know i haven’t been trying for long though so I have to be patient. I just want sex to go back to how it used to be but it’s hard not to be constantly thinking if you’re in the fertile window or not!
 
The month we conceived we dtd at least every other day and sometimes every day. I didn't really track ovulation though as we were wanting to try and be more relaxed about it... so after my period stopped we started for 2 weeks
 
How long have you been TTC for? x

This is my fourth cycle. But if you include my first two cycles then it’s technically six however my first two cycles, that was when we stopped using birth control but we either barely tried (one of us was travelling) and I didn’t chart, use OPKs so I don’t count those as honestly I might as well have been on BC for those two months as I didn’t even know about a ‘fertile’ period/that OPKs were even a thing! Total novice haha
 
How long have you been TTC for? x

This is my fourth cycle. But if you include my first two cycles then it’s technically six however my first two cycles, that was when we stopped using birth control but we either barely tried (one of us was travelling) and I didn’t chart, use OPKs so I don’t count those as honestly I might as well have been on BC for those two months as I didn’t even know about a ‘fertile’ period/that OPKs were even a thing! Total novice haha

I was exactly the same. I was so naive to the whole TTC journey that i would be on. I thought i would come off the pill, have sex and be pregnant LOL! i was sooooo wrong!! x
 
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Haha same! I was off the pill for about five months so I could get my periods adjusted before we properly started to try. So we used condoms in the interim. I remember when we had sex the first time without anything and I was like omg this is it!! Hahahaha
 
Haha same! I was off the pill for about five months so I could get my periods adjusted before we properly started to try. So we used condoms in the interim. I remember when we had sex the first time without anything and I was like omg this is it!! Hahahaha

hahahaha that really made me laugh because i was exactly the same!
 
That's so strange, I went into it thinking it would take ages as my parents took 4 years to get me and then I get pregnant first month! It shows how random and unpredictable this whole journey can be. It also makes me really impressed with contraception because in 12 years together we had no scares!
 
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I will openly admit my sex drive is pretty much non existent - my poor oh :lol: so i knew from the get go, that the only reason i would be up for sex was purely to make a baby - even my friends joke how much we dont have sex lol - probably shouldn't admit that, but were all in the same boat here lol

Thankfully for me :lol: we caught very quick and the month i did, i thought i was out, as i had a very strange 3 day mid cycle bleed. I almost didnt want to use opk's as i thought i was just out, thank god i did decide to test. On the 2 days my opks were positive we dtd and bam, i was pregnant <3 and yep, the passion does die, esp the longer you go on, as its all you can think about - the end goal of a baby.

I cant really say if there was anything unusual we did - we just dtd at the right time and that was that. I do agree with the girls and the SMEP - i think that will work well for you.

Good luck and lets hope you catch pretty soon :dust:
 
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I certainly didn't think we'd catch right away but we were never prepared for anything like what we we through. Not that it's a competition but I still think we got off lightly compared to lots of couples.

No one ever warns you about how much hormonal contraceptives can mess with your system!! I had so many issues when I came off the pill and that was just the start. I've sworn off hormonal contraceptives for life now!!

We don't have a massive sex drive either so we were forcing ourselves to have a lot more sex than we would usually and that meant it became really draining pretty quickly especially when it wasn't happening.
 
I&#8217;m reading this and counting myself quite lucky that OH and I have fairly high sex drives, so we&#8217;re quite happy with the required frequency! I&#8217;m wondering if that&#8217;ll be the same if it takes a while to conceive... let&#8217;s hope so!

I have to admit with the way they go on at you when you&#8217;re younger about contraception it makes it sound like you&#8217;ve only got to go near a bloke and you&#8217;ll get pregnant - you&#8217;re actually trying you realise it&#8217;s not as quick and easy as that
 
I also have a high drive, OH does too but not as much as me! I love the excuse to do it more most of the time! X
 
It&#8217;s funny because I always worry we aren&#8217;t DTD enough. Cycle 2 we DTD twice and I think, only once in the fertile period and I got pregnant (but sadly MC). Cycle 3, we DTD sporadically and only twice in the fertile window but actually on the day of ovulation and I got pregnant (but again sadly MC). This month we DTD every other day from CD 8 until 16, then DTD again on CD17 (ovulation predicted to be CD14) and I&#8217;ve got a BFN! Seems the less we DTD then we get our BFP haha. It really is down to Lady Luck I think but surely the more you can&#8217;t DTD without it being a chore has got to be better?
 
We did it everyday except 1 from CD11-18 the cycle we caught. For us more was more lol
 

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