how much?

[NICCI]

hey ladies,
my OH went bk to work 2day and im wanting some advice!!
do your OHs help out when they get home frm work?? do they help out in the night?

im not sure what im able to ask him to do without him feeling like im taking the piss!
jack has had a couple of really bad nights and im sooooo tired!! but i havent asked 4 help frm oh bacause i feel guilty that he has 2 get up 4 work, then on the other hand i think well jack is OUR baby,not just mine!!!
thanx 4 any advice!!

 

[dannii87]

I don't even know why I'm replying as I haven't got an OH and Evie isn't here yet so I'm probably being VERY naive with this reply Apologies in advance (hopefully someone else will post their routines etc to help more!)

Anyway, if it were me, I think I would do the nightfeeding etc and expect my OH to tidy up after himself and help a bit when he gets home (like washing up/loading dishwasher/looking after baby while I have a bath or something). I don't think I would expect half and half duties if that makes sense?!

Hmmm... It's a tough one! He might suprise you and come home and tidy for you

xx

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Hiya hun

if your OH works full time in the week then i would say that night duties are yours in terms of getting up in the night with LO.

If James has had a succession of really bad nights then Alan will occasionally get up with him but thats v v rare (probably twice in 6 months he has done that in the week). Of a weekend its a different story though and duties should be more shared - i would still get up in the night for example, but Alan will get up with James in the morning whilst i get a lie in (this was the theoretical agreement - doesnt always happen cos alan is so knackered after work etc but in principal it should)

I would say of an evening when OH gets in, he should do sommat like bath bubs and give you half an hour to yourself, or if you have had a particularly rough day, let him be on duty for an hour or so whilst you get a bit of kip.

Hope that helps!

 

[kelsey]

I think maybe i expect too much sometimes, but in my opinion while o/h is out at work all day i'm at home at work all day. I think that things should be shared in the evenings. My o/h gets home about 5.15 and i've usually started food but he'll finish it. If i'm out at beavers or something he'll do the food. i tend to do most of the things with the children - clubs etc, and on a weekend while i'm doing this he'll stay home and clean the house.

 

[newmum]

Hiya hun

if your OH works full time in the week then i would say that night duties are yours in terms of getting up in the night with LO.

If James has had a succession of really bad nights then Alan will occasionally get up with him but thats v v rare (probably twice in 6 months he has done that in the week). Of a weekend its a different story though and duties should be more shared - i would still get up in the night for example, but Alan will get up with James in the morning whilst i get a lie in (this was the theoretical agreement - doesnt always happen cos alan is so knackered after work etc but in principal it should)

I would say of an evening when OH gets in, he should do sommat like bath bubs and give you half an hour to yourself, or if you have had a particularly rough day, let him be on duty for an hour or so whilst you get a bit of kip.

Hope that helps!

Snap. We have this kind of system too. Also in the evening OH will give LO a bath and I do a quick tidy up, get milk ready etc and then feed her so when she is asleep we are both free for the evening.

 

[MissSara]

I do the night duties, but he still insists on waking up with me and going downstairs to fetch things i forgot to take upstairs ( nappies and stuff) but i do make it clear to him that i don't expect him to get up at all when he has to be up at 6am every morning!!!

When he comes home from work, i have been trying to have his tea cooked but having a new baby this is proving a task and half, so he has been cooking tea and doing everything round the house, Bless him. In fact has i sit here and type this with my cuppa he is hanging out the washing........

I never ask him to do anything, he just does it.

When your OH comes home from work why dont you suggest that he takes bubs and lets you have a long soak in the bath with a magazine.
And at the weekends let him take bubs downstairs for a few hours while you catch up on that sleep you missed through the week.

 

[lfc_sarah]

When Lee's in work, i do the early morning feed (Callum sleeps all night)
And look after him all day, do cleaning washing ect as he works until 10am-midnight most nights
Cant really expect him to do anything at that time

On his days off he does everything pretty much
Gets up with Callum and does the cooking (obviously lol) cleaning washing that day while i go out/ have time to myself

I never asked though he just does it...

Obviously ill play with him/change him while Lee showers or whatever if im in the house

 

[CoreysMummy]

My OH does sweet FA...

Actually thats abit unfair. At the weekend if I boot him out of bed he will do the night feed, and when he gets in from work he will play with DS for a few mins, then hes head in laptop for the evening. He will also do the washing up after dinner - we have a dishwasher btw!!!

I think mabey I expect abit much, but even when hes home, I do all the feeds, changes, get DS dressed etc. Get up with him in the morning. I know he works - bear in mind hes lucky and most days its up at about 8ish and home by 3. So hes up later than me after a full nights sleep and still does sod all. Im past caring.

I would expect your OH to mabey do the bath and bed routine. Thats what mine is going to do very soon. I just worry the bath is going to be like 5 mins long because he wants to get back downstairs to his laptop asap!!!

 

[claire2711]

We share everything 50-50 I do everything when at home during the day, and at night we take it in turns to get up and see to LO.

The way we see it.... I am with him all day, ad OH is glad to take his turn wth wee man. If he didn't, he'd hardly ever see him!

 

[Becky]

When Lucy was born we agreed that night time I would do all the feeds (I breast-fed) and if she needed her nappy done at the same time I'd do that too, otherwise he got up for nappies.

In terms of household duties we shared them. Ok so he was at work all day but then I was working at home too - I had a baby to look after that had no concept of break times or lunch times for mummy!

We've always split baby duties and still do now, 50/50. It's hard work being a parent and we all need a break. I just couldn't have managed if he hadn't done his part. We made the baby together, so we take care of her together too.

 

[LisaJ1986]

I have to do night feeds as i'm breastfeeding. He's done a night feed when i've expressed but it's a massive challenge as Angel won't take bottles. So i gave up trying and decided i'd do it. I'm a much lighter sleeper than him anyway and by the time i've pushed and rolled him to wake up i could have feed and put her back to bed! Lol
He does work 6 days a week so i don't expect him to do too much. But in the evening he'll do bits as there is so much to do. I bargain with him. Either take the plates away or change Angel's nappy, Get Angel ready for bed or fetch the washing in. Bits like that. Takes the weight off me a little or my job will be practically 24/7. I'm up at 7am and i'm doing bits til gone 9pm, then i'm up twice in the night. I'd be ready to drop if he didn't take the heat off me a little.